How long after the birth did you have visitors?

[LittleLH]

Just wondering how long everyone waited before having visitors to see the baby.
My family live a few hours drive away and I've already said I don't want anyone other than DP at the hospital. I know it will all depend on how I'm feeling and I might change my mind but I was thinking of having at least 2 days at home before telling family they could come over.
I don't want to upset anyone but I want time for me and DP to bond with our new son/daughter and get used to everything before everyone descends on us!

agree 100% with ledkr
be assertive.
many people have had great experiences post-birth with PIL and family, but others have not and it is a very tender, sensitive and potentially tiring time, hormonally driven too and let's not forget that you don't know in advance how well you will be doing/coping.
hopefully you will have a great birth and your baby will be healthy and a good feeder too!
but especially when things go tits-up, you need to know that family is there to support, whether from a respectful distance or with more involvement...that bit is up to you.

DD was born on 5th of month. I refused point blank to see anyone that wasn't interested in either doing my housework or making me a cuppa. I didn't see anyone for a month. Best month of my life..... :0) Still not feeling guilty!

We waited for a couple of weeks with first baby, except for my very helpful and nice mother-in-law (my family is in another country) and I really regretted it. I had read in a book that it was best not to have too many people around to give us time to bond with the baby, but I shouldn't have followed that advice. Really I could have done with more help from everyone and to share the immense feeling of happiness. So for second child, everyone was invited very soon after I was out of hospital and I didn't even need to get up to make myself a cuppa. It didn't stop me from bonding at all, it just meant that someone else was changing nappies!

I also feel now looking back that important/close family members and close friends will keep the memory of my little ones in their mind forever, and it is important to them as well. If I'd have other children everyone would be invited very soon after the birth. I know this is not an opinion shared by many, but hey, it's how I feel. Share the joy!

We had my mum here for a couple of days after each of my sons wrre born - she was at borth births & a huge help. Other visitors over the course of the next few days, but the second time round I made sure they pre-arranged a time/day - and if the doorbell went at any other time & I didn't feel like socialising, I just ignored it

This was due to a rather grim experience when DS1 was about five days old and one of DH's relatives decided to drop in unnanounced, when I was on my own at home with the new baby. She expected me to make her tea & do small talk, when all I wanted to do was sleep but felt too embarrassed to ask her to leave - then the MW turned up, and this relative decided to sit there while I had to answer all those lovely questions about bowel movements and lochia. HIDEOUS.

My DD was born on Monday. My parents and my sister visited in hospital on Tues and my in laws came to our house on Weds. I was happy to see them as had had normal birth and wanted to show DD off. But they all only stayed for fairly brief visits, maybe 2 hours, and then went home even though my parents particularly had travelled a long way. They then came back for a longer visit a couple of weeks later. I wouldn't have anyone stay overnight during the first month or so but they will want to see new addition check ok v early.

I had a constant stream of visitors, in fact, when I arrived home on the day I had my last, my house was already full!

The idea of putting them off for 2 days is a bit sad to me. Everyone is so excited to see you and the baby - it's not like you have to do anything other than sit and enjoy it all

Before you know it, the visitors will have gone, dh will be back at work etc. I found that the hard bit.

ninthwave - that is hideous...

NinthWave I would have told the relative to leave - at least after the MW arrived.

All I can remember is how raging hormones, sleep deprivation, general grogginess and often feeling rather inadequate as a new mother meant I couldn't always articulate what I wanted people to do...I can totally understand why NinthWave was too embarrassed to ask her to leave...in those early post-birth days we are not always quite ourselves!

I gave birth at 22.10. DH text all our family and friends at 02.00 on his way home. FIL heard text and arrived after 250 mile drive at 07.00. Midwives sent them away saying only DP could come. Inlaws came to birth centre at 10.00 and my parents who live nearer and went to work came over 16.30. i stayed in birth centre another night (a luxery that they stopped about month later) which meant only DH could come and see me in the evening. Inlaws spent next day with us at home. My BF came 5 days later as i wanted time just the 3 or than us. Then no-one other than the odd neighbour who came for 20 mins for 2 weeks. I told everyone beforehand that was my plan, so no-one was put out after the birth.

couple of hours. Friend brought DD up to meet her new brother. Another friend works as nurse and was at the hospital so popped in on her way home.

then, home the next day, and several visitors within couple of hours.

:( InMyPrime...

I spent just over 2 hours today with friends who had a baby about 9 days ago - besides myself there was my OH and 2 other friends. (we obviously bought cake, biscuits etc with us).

Main thing I thought was that although the parents were clearly tired, they were both glad of having people to talk to and both in good spirits and chatty - not so tired they couldn't string a sentence together.

Some relatives of theirs turned up after we'd been there 2 hours so we made our excuses at that point & left. That felt like an ideal length visit to me, perhaps they were putting on a brave face but they didn't seem to be encouraging us to leave or anything! (NB am expecting my first in April so to me it was a big relief to see how well they seemed to be coping with visitors...I hate to think of being cooped indoors & not seeing anyone for weeks!)

I had my DD late on a Friday night and lots of relatives came over at the weekend which was fine as the hormones and exhaustion hadn't kicked in. However, was in a mess by a week later after a week of no sleep, problems breatfeeding and a massive hormone crash and put visitors off that weekend. I was made to feel like a complete cow-noone gave a toss how I felt, they just wanted pics of them holding my DD for their Facebook. DH and I were bullied into accepting these visitors the week after which was a bit more manageable but still v tough. Am still feeling and about the way we were treated even now.

My brother and SIL said me and my mum (new grandma) couldn't visit for 10 days as it was "family only". Until then I thought we got on fine. If we hadn't known it was only us who weren't welcome, we'd have just thought they wanted some p&q and would have been totally fine with that. So I think it's how you do it.

When my DC was born we said come when you like but could you not arrive before 12. They arranged to come when she was 4 days old and phoned from outside at 10.30 to say we're early, that's ok isn't it? We were all over the place, was having a bf nightmare, wasn't comfortable struggling in front of people, DP was in the shower - should have said please go away for an hour, but felt too rude. So I let them in, gave DD a bottle so I didn't have to disappear for an hour, then SIL gave me a lecture on how it would affect establishing bf, as if I didn't know. It did too.

Next time (if there is one) I'd still let people come early - people need a bit of good news after all - but be stronger about disappearing for feeds. DB and SIL can come a few weeks later .

My MIL came to stay 2 days after I had been discharged following an EMCS. She stayed for 3 nights and I hated every minute of it. Its not that we dont get on, but rather that she isan't a 'muck in' type and so I felt obliged to be making cups of tea etc all the time. Also, she isan't one to chat and so there were many hours with her just sitting there.

I am due with DC2 in March, and am already thinking about how to tackle to subject with DH.

MIL and FIL within a hour. We had to tell them immediately as they were supposed to be coming round that morning and DD was born at 9.30am. I didn't really want to see them so soon, but it could have been worse as MIL had insisted they would wait at the hospital the whole time we were there until the baby was born. Fortunately DH didn't get chance to call them between us arriving and DD being born. My parents visited at about 4pm. In-laws were back at about that time too. No one else visited in hospital.

within 5 mins of giving birth to ds2. My uncle and my cousin arrived. I knew they were coming and was very happy to see them. My mum and dp were already there. I was the only one in the whole maternity ward and the midwife made us all a lovely cuppa while ds2 was passed about :)

I had my DS by EMCS after a horrendous labour, at 22.14. I was shattered and off my face on morphine for the next two days!
I rang my parents at 01.30 when I finally got out of theatre and into HDU.
My DH rang his parents right after who were pissed off that he had work them up!
My parents had the day off that day, so drove 150 miles to the hospital for the afternoon visiting. We asked my IL to come in the evening after work, but they were getting their hair cut!!! So my parents came again. I was so glad to be honest, I was still on HDU and felt like total shit, so I think it was actually a blessing in disguise that my parents came, although my DH was cross with his parents.
They did come up the next evening although the missed the first 40mins of a 2 hour visiting slot (they only lived about 15 miles away as well!) and had a go at me for not getting up out the chair - I still had a catheter in and a wound drain and was still on morphine and in a lot of pain! I was very PFB and hated them passing my DS back and forth but just gritted my teeth as you do!
What really irritated me was when My DS needed fed (which seemed to be all the it,e for the first few days, don't think there was a lot of milk there at first!) and my MIL practically had her face on my boob beside him, whilst my FIL sat there with his eyes popping out his face. I could have just cried. In fact I think I did once they left, everything upsets you when you have hormones flying!

After the birth we went to my parents as they had a week off work to look after us and my mum is a HV and I'd rather have her grabbing my boobs than some stranger! was a total legend helping me BF even at 2am when I was sat in tears frustrated because I couldn't do it!

Next time, I think I would also get my IL to visit when I was in hospital (although I hope they manage to come for the whole visiting time!) as it was easier than waiting on them hand and foot - they are lazy and ignorant very old fashioned and like us to run around like blue arsed flies waiting on them to be treated as guests when they visit and I can't hack the idea of that with a new baby and a small child!

Almost immediately both times. I was on such a high, I would have easily chatted with the Queen