" i don't allow intervention after this stage that my baby might die, and (repeated about 6 times) that I would have to live with myself if something went wrong or live with the consequences f the baby dies because after 40+12, everything stops working and there's a huge risk etc etc etc."
this is unprofessional and bad counselling. she is meant to advise you of relative risks and let you make your own mind up. according to NICE the risks of induction are only outweighed at 42 weeks and you aren't there yet. Even then, as you seem a lower-than-average risk type, it is possible in your case that point would be crossed later. i read my way through the data tables at the end of the NICE guide and outcomes for white, educated women with partners are better than average (which begs the questions as to why single, asian and black socially disadvantaged women get much worse outcomes)
equally, if an induction went badly you might feel terrible about that - something she hasn't considered. something being recommended by HCPs does not mean you won't feel bad about it. I really hate that these people charged with caring for pregnant women seem to care so little for their feelings - disregard for a patients feelings has worse clinical outcomes, not better.
they should have respected your choice. it is yours to make. the relative uplift in risk is tiny, if it is even there (like you say, new data needed) One would hope a consultant would be aware of the problems with the evidence they base their decisions on.
the upshot of her behaviour: you have less trust that your care will be handled properly. total backfire.
on the positive side: she is very unlikely to be there even if you did go in.