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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

nickelbabe is resigned to never giving birth

999 replies

nickelbabe · 06/12/2011 16:02

there.
part 2 of the "not-live-birth-thread"

How come I can conceive and carry through a pregnancy but I can't finish one?

No posting until the original thread has ended.
first thread

I am now officially 40+10.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

minceorotherwise · 09/12/2011 12:16

And you telling him to shut the Fu@k up....

Flisspaps · 09/12/2011 12:21

See, that sounds very much like my first and also current birth plan, which ended up not even coming out of my bag when I went in for induction.

They did try to make it as natural as possible, but ultimately I ended up with the classic stuck-on-the-bed-with-the-cascade-of-intervention and it did result in me being very disappointed afterwards because I didn't get the non-interventionist homebirth that I had so wanted and it's only now that I'm having DC2 that I seem to have laid that disappointment to rest.

Whilst I am prepared to 'fight' harder for the birth I want this time (ie not be induced for being overdue unless there are signs of problems with the baby) I am far more aware and accepting that 'I want' doesn't mean 'I will get' and I hope that this time if I do end up in hospital, I won't struggle with it so much.

I can understand why so many people are saying 'lower your expectations' but that can be the hardest part of the process. Lowering them doesn't mean giving up on everything though.

You can still request the minimum of VEs (and they still have to get your consent to do them, even if you have a synto drip and an epidural. If you only have Propess, then once things get going you can again refuse VEs if you don't feel like having them)

If you have CFM (which again, you can choose to refuse in place of intermittent monitoring, even if they give you synto) you can still get off the bed - I went on a ball for a bit, the monitors kept losing the trace so they asked me to get back on the bed which I did. It wasn't until getting my notes after that I realised that even on the bed the trace kept going due to dodgy equipment - so it wouldn't have mattered if I'd gone for a jog round the room or sat bolt upright, the monitors would still have been crap.

G&A and TENS might still be enough. I had an epidural at the MWs suggestion, but that was because she said I'd have another 12 hours of synto contractions at full strength, otherwise she'd have left me with just the G&A as I was managing well with it. She was right - DD was born 12 hours 9 minutes later.

FunnysInTheGarden · 09/12/2011 12:22

I didn't have a birth plan with either of mine. No point really esp the first time when I had no clue about my preferences, what with never having had a baby before.

Plus I really hoped the hospital staff knew what they were doing, which as it turns out they did!

BamBam21 · 09/12/2011 12:31

Hi nickel. It must be very comfy for ISBN in there!

I have been lurking continuously and keep checking in, in between painting the lobby. I'm only 31+3 now, and keep irrationally thinking, "I wish I could have some contractions"!!

Here's to a beautiful little Friday's Child, and avoiding induction.

Figgyrollsintoapudding · 09/12/2011 12:33

No birth plan here for number 2, only that I didn't want an episiotomie (can't fing spell!) or an emcs if possible. I was told long birth plans don't get read so I just couldn't be arsed - I did say I just wanted the baby then home though!

Re baby and pg, I so suddenly realised that I wasn't sure I actually wanted a baby at the end of my pg or that I would get an actual baby (wtf am I meant to do with one of them! ) first time round that I actually got myself a little scared. Then dd arrived and pow, not a problem but I did wonder what I was doing .

BTW when we had dc2, I told dh that we could go home now as we already had one and didn't really need another one did we............ he told me it was too late and he had already put up the cot which was a right bugger so I was to just get on with it and have it, we could see what we wanted to do with it later . I decided I rather liked dc2 so would take him home

JKSLtd · 09/12/2011 12:33

Some things I do think tou need to consider pre-birth though.

Will your baby have the vitamin K injection or not?

Will you find out the gender or will someone tell you?

Will someone clean/dress/wrap the baby before you hold it or not?

Do you want the injection to 'speed up' the placenta or not? (forgotten name & anyway it didn't work with DS1's which took 2 hours)

Unless you are in a real emergency situation most of these can be adapted to suit you & your preferences.

Thumbinnapuddingwitch · 09/12/2011 12:34

The snacks were something I had no need of either - contractions made me sick. I needed an anti-emetic jab to stop me throwing up by the evening. DH went off and got himself a sandwich, I think - can't remember, tbh! Or perhaps he ate the snacks I'd brought in for myself - I know he had my dinner at one point!

Sparklingbaubles · 09/12/2011 12:36

I was throwing up too. I remember the midwife inspecting it and asking if I had eaten anything brown.

Sparklingbaubles · 09/12/2011 12:40

Sorry to all eating their lunch.

Flisspaps · 09/12/2011 12:45

Good call JKS - things worth considering no matter where you end up giving birth :)

BamBam21 · 09/12/2011 12:50

As for birth plans, with DS I pretty much had nothing except that I absolutely, under no circumstances, wanted an epidural (unless I needed a c-sec obviously), and that's all I really want this time too. I had the attitude of just waiting and seeing how I was doing at the time, but the thought of an epidural really freaks me out.

Ex-H had a massive bag of sandwiches etc, but I think most of them went in the bin. I certainly didn't feel like having them! Also, I had Lucozade with me, but the MWs told me not to drink it as I hadn't decided yet whether I wanted to BF or not, and apparently the glucose can interfere with milk production.

FellatioNelson · 09/12/2011 12:58

I would pack a snack for afterwards rather than during. Although they will give you a cup of tea and a bit of toast, I was ravenous afterwards, and if it's midnight or something it will be hours and hours before you will get a decent (and I use that term loosely) meal.

whenPaschagotstuckupthechimney · 09/12/2011 12:59

Nickel I have been following but said very little til now but I had to break silence to wonder just how you thought your lovely DH was going to sit like a good boy at the piano while you pushed away. Doesn't he want to hold your hand and mop your brow?

naturalbaby · 09/12/2011 13:08

isn't it a bit late to be wondering about music in the hospital?!

i remember trying to eat during my 1st labour so i had enough energy to get through it, and nearly spat out the first mouthful as a massive contraction started. just drink lots and lots and lots.

Flisspaps · 09/12/2011 13:19

Why would it be a bit late to be thinking about music in the hospital?

Figgyrollsintoapudding · 09/12/2011 13:22

Twiglets
Great snack
Both labours involved twiglets. I rather fancy some now!

underbeneathsies · 09/12/2011 13:41

I love it funnys
"I didn't have a birth plan with either of mine. No point really esp the first time when I had no clue about my preferences, what with never having had a baby before.

Plus I really hoped the hospital staff knew what they were doing, which as it turns out they did!"

You speak a lot of sense!

A birth plan for me now would be that the baby was born alive and well and that I wasn't too mangled in the process.
A preference of mine would be that I would like to see my baby being born, if possible, so that they could get the screens down in theatre during 'extraction'. And I would like to be congratulated by everyone in theatre, yes, that would be nice I think - it was very flurried last time...

Of course i'd choose an elective section this time, having had everything going last time. My Dh spent an awfully long time during the long hours of labour holding up my hugely heavy post epidural leg whilst they got fetal blood samples from my baby's head - by stabbing her repeatedly in the head, up through my fanjo - and here was me with no VEs please.

Tinkling on the ivories, I hope you're joking Nickle?

It can get pretty brutal in there, but I'm thinking going in expecting the full song and dance Disney, and so not getting it, can be the most brutal part of it.

As an old veteran wifey (and long long time poster who couldn't resist a namechange), I do find the foolish virgins candle-lit, whale song birth plans sort of alarming now. I was all for it when I too was a foolish virgin, I shamefacedly say.

Birth is a bodily function. It's not pretty, clean or organsied: it's noisy, messy and bloody; it hurts more than you think it will, and it's over faster than you think too.
It doesn't have to be undignified, and that's the thing to remember.

My advice to you Nickle (which is free and worth every penny ) is to get your hospital rental breastfeeding pump and breastfeeding books organised, make some dinners to freeze, and accept all help wherever it comes from - you can sort out your kitchen later!

Good luck to you and your babe, it's so exciting having read your live thread(s)! I wish you just all the very best.
Embrace your inner mother now. You'll be a wonderful mother I know you will.
Cannot wait to read you birth announcement thread(s)

Good luck again - you can't get enough of it

minceorotherwise · 09/12/2011 13:50

I love your birth plan Underbeneathies, that would be mine too !

pooka · 09/12/2011 13:52

Does your dh play any ragtime? That would be rather jolly during labour.

Am thinking of the maple leaf rag or the entertainer.

CarolCervix · 09/12/2011 14:00

I'm with ISBN.

why would he want to come out when in there it is all warm and snuggly. and there's constant cuddles and food. and it's warm amd soothing and lovely.

It's bloody freezing and complicated out here.

MunchingNoPickles · 09/12/2011 14:03

CupAndSorcery · 09/12/2011 14:12

Quite some time since she posted last ... hmmmmm

MunchingNoPickles · 09/12/2011 14:36

Indeed Cup fx'd

Flisspaps · 09/12/2011 14:39

She'll be too busy ringing round van hire places to post, just to check if anyone's willing to take her piano to the hospital and back at short notice if required

Figgyrollsintoapudding · 09/12/2011 14:44

Yes Nickel where the hell are you ? Is ISBN telling us he/she wants to make an entrance?

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