nickelbabe is resigned to never giving birth

[nickelbabe]

there.
part 2 of the "not-live-birth-thread"

How come I can conceive and carry through a pregnancy but I can't finish one?

No posting until the original thread has ended.
first thread

I am now officially 40+10.

8Tangle* - don't worry, I've confused myself

they calculated my due date on LMP, which was 27th Nov, then the scan confirmed it to 26th November.
The dates I've put are when I know I had sex, so obviously, conception can't be before that, even if the egg hit the sperm straight away.

Thanks fliss i really do know am just so tired and my mood is all over the place this part is so hard, next week or whenever when this baby makes an appearance the place will be crawling with people wanting to help or cuddle my baby DM is coming, MIL will help out and Dh will be off work but now i'm just sort of struggling on looking after the dc. Dh is being a big help but still has to go to work occasionally. MIL has batch cooked loads of food for us but is hanging on to it until baby is born so it's just business as usual, sorry for the whinge

youtalkin :(
That just sounds really confusing.

Does she know you've had other babies?
and she sounds horrible.
hope you don't get her again.

(tangle - I'm adding on 40 weeks, which I think is correct, because they don't call you late or "prolonged" until 42 weeks, which suggests that they think 40 weeks must be full gestation from conception)

nickel by those dates you've been pg for 13 months no wonder you're pissed off

If its any consolation (and seeing as this seems to be a thread for divulging lots of information) when I was charting and TTC I'd check my cervix and it used to wander around all over the place. From my experience its not impossible that your cervix could be anterior one day and posterior the next - but that MW sounds like she wasn't terribly gentle or sympathetic so and :( for you.

I also understood that multip babies didn't tend to engage till much later on in pregnancy (sometimes not till labour starts) so it sounds really promising if baby's 4/5ths in already :)

Points you might want to consider when you've calmed down a bit:

• even if you've agreed to an intervention (sweep, VE, whatever) you can ask them to stop at any point. I think its Mary Cronk again who suggests practicing the phrase "Stop this AT ONCE" in the mirror until you can make it look really scary! If they don't stop then, technically, they are assaulting you - something you can then remind them of if necessary.
• if there is no medical reason for IOL on Wednesday other than your gestation, you can always decline it on that day and ask them to re-arrange for Thursday so that you can get to DS's nativity. :)
• just because in the opinion of this MW she wouldn't have been able to break your waters today, that's no indication of what they're going to find when it comes to starting induction.

Something a few people might find useful are these phrases by Mary Cronk. In an ideal world we'd all have lovely HCP's who listened to us and allowed us to make an informed choice that they then respected. For the situations when we aren't quite so fortunate those phrases can be quite handy to help us remember that it is our decision, and give a polite method of reminding the HCP's of that fact...

Tell your MIL you need the food now!

Yes, she did the air suck thing when she said oh you're our home birth lady like oh yeah you think your having a homebirth and she had really long finger nails . I'm pretty sure my own mw managed it the other day because it felt exactly as i remembered and i had a show so don't know what's going on now.

If i ever have another baby which is highly unlikely i shall be hiring an independent Mw just for continuity of care.

Oh no I have a baggy uterus AND a wandering cervix . I know I should look at the positives, baby is slightly engaged, last baby didn't engage till after waters went and was op this baby is in a lovely position so hopefully quick when it gets going. I'm pretty sure my dates are correct and i had my due date down as the 6th of Dec which sort of makes sense in that my other babies were big and this one was guestimated 2 weeks ago by the OB to 7lbish which is tiny for me, it is definitely bigger now and i'd say if i make it to next week will be another 9lber at least.

(tangle - I'm adding on 40 weeks, which I think is correct, because they don't call you late or "prolonged" until 42 weeks, which suggests that they think 40 weeks must be full gestation from conception)

Ah - that might be where things are going adrift. The assumption is that average gestation is 40 weeks from LMP (or 38 weeks from ovulation). That gives a marker of an Estimated Due Date around which a window of 37 to 42 weeks is placed. A birth at any point within that 37 to 42 week window is considered within "Term" and so "Normal". Considering normal to extend from 37 to 42 weeks isn't a reflection of the fact that you count 40 weeks from conception so much as that women and babies don't conform to an "average" gestation - but that most babies will turn up and be OK before LMP + 42 weeks.

It gives plenty of scope for discussing how much, if any, intervention is required between 40 and 42 weeks (from LMP) - but doesn't mean you can calculate an EDD as ovulation + 40 weeks/LMP + 42 weeks and use it to argue a 2 week extension...

youtalkin - I remember sending someone a pm about breech. I'm going to have to go and see what you were calling yourself then, now :o. Just to follow up on the breech thing, there seems to be something weird about me - this one decided to stay breech too, but this time we opted for an ECV. Went on Tuesday and it popped round really easily :). Now just hoping it will stay that way up till it decides to come out...

You must have a comfy upside down/rightway up uterus, glad it turned easily for you. My baby turned transverse a week after going from breech to head down so there was panic stations and yes another section discussed and then cancelled when it turned head down again on the morning i was admitted. I have gone from section to HB to section to HB to possible IOL it's all getting a bit exhausting.

youtalk she sound horrible :( can you request not to have her again?

Definitely ask your MIL if you can have the food now :)

She's told me she is off on holiday for a week from today so just have to get through today.

Keep your legs crossed then! Did you say 'how lovely for me'

I couldn't I was too busy blinking back tears

I saw the consultant today and she was actually really lovely and made me feel a lot happier about things. She gave me a sweep (notes say I'm partially effaced, and a cm dilated) And said she was able to get her finger in and give it a good stretch (it certainly felt like that, but nothing compared to childbirth!).

I am going in saturday morning for induction (although the mw said to ring friday and I'm a bit confused they might want me in earlier) and they would start with a pessary (not all the hospitals do that with a vbac) and go slowly and hopefully still be able to birth naturally. They did seem very pro having a "natural" (well, not a c section) labour if possible so that was good news.

I really just need to get over having to actually go into hospital, and labour in less than ideal circumstances. In my ideal world I'd be having a homebirth and I hate hospitals so I need to work out how to go in and be relaxed and happy!

Nickel, if there's nothing wrong with the baby or you, why go in? Just say you'd like to leave it a bit and be monitored frequently at home if that's what you really want.

I was going to post this morning to say I had been lurking and couldn't believe you were still going. I spend a day at work and decide to check up and you're all still here

Nicklebabe - I hope you are ok, I have already primed Dh for a New Year trip to Sittingbourne - I've worked out it is only 2 1/2 hours away from me and I am sure minisnaplegs 1 will have Xmas money to spend on books!
I think ISBN is holding out for tomorrow so they match minisnaplegs 2 who is a Dec 9th baby - in fact I am sure this time last year you were on my thread helping me along! Minisnaplegs 2 was def conceived on 12 Mar and born 9 Dec so I would say it's about the right time soon!

Now I've marked my place I hope you don't mind if I hang around!

pseudo pleased it went well, it's nice to have a nice consultant will make all the difference. With regards to labouring in the hospital pack some things that will make it more homely, smellies for the bath, ipod perhaps own blankets etc and don't be afraid to go out for a walk etc, feel free to decline continuous ctg which I was told the other day can also be done on a birthing ball so don't feel you have to be on the bed the whole time.

Boffin - i decided that i would take the easy option this time round - Once we all know that the heartbeat's fine, then there's not a lot else they can say.

I just had a call from Rose, who said that they still want me to go in tomorrow for the same thing, and made it impossible to refuse because she's organised her supervisor to chat about options and next stages etc at the same time.

She's also said that they don't like it when HBers go over 42 weeks and that's why I have to be monitored every day, and that they most likely won't bother with the ultrasound scan on the amniotic fluid either

The type of monitoring they do at the hospital is that they strap a heart monitor thing on so that they can chart the baby's heartbeat and patterns for half an hour - if they monitor me at home, all they can do is listen in for short periods at a time.

She did ask me how long I was willing to go without intervention.
I said next Thursday, and she then explained about the increased risks etc.
I just said that I wanted to see what happened and that if there were any problems, I would re-think it all. (reiterating that I wanted to see how it went tonight before I thought about any next stages)

Two and a half hours!!

(you can pay for stuff with National Book Tokens gift cards over the phone, you know.... )

Oh I was told by the mw to have sex too!!! I so so so can't imagine that. I wish I could. Husband very not keen either...!!

Anyone know of anything else I can do post-sweep to encourage things or is it all wives tales?

youtalk - she really does sound awful, but try to forget about it and just think about lovely newborn snuggles

psuedo - I'm glad it went well :) Needs must and all that I suppose. Take plenty of your own clothes to wear and handcream, lipgloss, bodylotion - it's always so drying in there! Also it passes the time! Anything you can to amuse yourself book/mags/puzzles/DS (Nintendo not child!!), snacks, drinks... laptop/ipad.

ooh, and if I do feel very forced have to have induction in the end, I'm going to insist that they let me go to the super-douper home-from-home Birth Place because it's down the corridor from the Labour ward, and they can't force me (and if they try to, I'm going to stage a protest and make my own way down there)

I fucking hate hospitals.