nickelbabe is resigned to never giving birth

[nickelbabe]

there.
part 2 of the "not-live-birth-thread"

How come I can conceive and carry through a pregnancy but I can't finish one?

No posting until the original thread has ended.
first thread

I am now officially 40+10.

Induction tends to start on the ante-natal ward until you are actually in labour (as I am finding out!). Hopefully you wont be going down this route - I only am because I'm high risk and you really aren't! I absolutely hate that husband cant stay with me overnight. There really isn't a lot I can do about that as until you are in established labour you are on a ward...

While I'm in pessary stage I wont have ctg and will have lots of movement. If it gets to the drip they really do need to monitor but apparently the leads are long and I can sit on the ball. Not quite the same but I am determined to Stay Off The Bed!

I think I am going to go insane in a small room for long period of time but you never know - I might labour quickly...!

[Hmm]

Don't rush in - you'll be put to moo quietly like a cow behind a curtain on the antenatal ward in all probability.

If you're in a small room i can't understandwhy your DH can't be there?

this is exactly why I hate hospitals - you're in a strange environment with strange things happening to you, and not knowing what's going to happen next, and they won't even allow you to have your closest loved-one there with you!

(that's another of the reasons I'm going to insist that I have aplace in the Birth Place, because DHs are allowed to stay)

Boffin - Thanks. :)

that's a concern for me - what happens if when I go up there on my own tomorrow, I end up going into labour? (spontaneously I hope!).
I'll be on my own, so I won't be able to drive home, DH will be in my shop looking after things so won't be able to come to me, and they'll end up making sure insisting that I give birth up there (because driving in labour is a NO-NO )

When I was induced i had been shown around the hospital as part of my antenatal class they had loads of lovely rooms with twinkly lights in the roof, pools etc on the day of my induction i turned up and was put in the broom cupboard on labour ward, teeny room hardly any facilities very claustrophobic. I shall not be falling for that again let me tell you.

Small room would be once I am in labour, husband allowed to be there for all of that - just that being that it would be the whole of labour it could be a long time. They keep you on antenatal until you are in established labour so its all the early build up stages that I had planned telly watching/ massage/wine/etc that he cant stay overnight for.

I completely agree - hate the whole hospital thing. Surely if you go into labour in hospital your husband can close the shop and come and get you?! Being in labour is one of those few excuses that everyone understands...

I know he could, but he won't have a car then! (cos I'll have it)

Don't get too fixated about the hospital thing - most of us have been there you know - some of us wanted to be and others didn't - i worry you are winding yourself up unnecessarily - they are not the devils work and you may need to go in at some point. You will not be a failure for having to do so and should think of it as one day ending in you getting your baby delivered safely.

Good luck tonight Nickel. Hope all goes well and that they are happy for you to stay at home with close monitoring. Would you be monitored on a daily basis?

I agree with cupandsorcery. Although my two DCs were both born by c section I can honestly say that both births were a good, positive experience. I'm normally a control freak but all the staff I came across at the time of the births were wonderful and made me feel so much more at ease about everything.

8Pseudo* just to say I was on CTG with DD2, and didn't get onto the bed until I wanted to. So, walked about the room, bounced on the ball, stared out the window etc. MWs were very supportive, just readjusted the monitor pads when I knocked them out of line (I got very worried at one point as the alarm went off on the machine but it was because I'd accidentally moved the pad and it was registering my heartbeat rather than DD2's!).

Mind you, I am a Bit Odd, in that I preferred being in a sitting position on the bed rather than walking around lazy mare

Oh, and might be worth asking your hoapital if they have access to telemetric monitors - these are wireless so you can move around so much more easily with them. They can also be used in water...

Hey Nickel and other overdue ladies!
Have been following this thread and thought I would share my experience. I went really overdue with DC3, I think to 40+12 and ended up going in for an examination at 40+11 and to discuss induction. Was so fed up I agreed to ARM... however, they took so long to getting round to me (I arrived at 8am and waited until about 6pm) that when I got examined I was 4cm...so they sent me home and said I could have my home birth...but as I got out to the car park I was in full on labour... ended up having a lovely waterbirth in the MLU and it was every bit as lovely as my HB with DC2.
Nickel I will link you a thread I started about induction as I got some really good advice and support.. here You sound really calm and sorted anyway...it's just hard not to feel pressurised when in hospital for monitoring, I remember I did. I just had to keep reminding myself I wouldn't stay pregnant forever...
Have you thought about accupuncture? I don't know if it was coinicdence or not, but I was 40+7 with DC2 and went and had accupuncture (from this amazing midwife/ accupuncturist in Hackney) and 12 hours later was holding a baby.
Good luck anyway.

I've got about an hour to start spontaneously...

coincidentally, and I might be imagining it because of the impending doom, but I'm sure I'm getting tightenings in my bump.

nickelbabe He can get a taxi to the hospital and then drive you home in your car.

And remember, they can not like it all they want, but you're the one who has weighed up your individual risk as opposed to the general ones, you're the one who has to actually have the baby. You don't have to go on the monitor tomorrow (although of course, it won't do any harm) and you don't have to speak to anyone about options or next steps.

CupandSorcery has a point though, I think with DD I wound myself up so much about not wanting to go into hospital or be induced that I never relaxed enough to go into labour naturally, and it ended up becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.

That was meant to say - it is just one day ending in your baby being safely delivered - iyswim.

I do hope you get the birth you want though obviously ...

IGNORE THE TIGHTENINGS!

Now is the time to crack open the reverse psychology someone mentioned earlier.

sod's law had better not come into play too late - if i'm up there and I start contracting, DH is under strict instructions to make sure I get to go home, rather than them try to convince me that I would be better to stay there seeing as i'm already there

thanks Fliss.
I know i've got to stay strong.
I've also told DH (who, bless him, is trying to remain stoical, but isn't sure what's happening), that if they try to pressure me, that he's got to step in and tell them that I've said what I want to do and I've made my decision and they're got to stop stressing me (because I've been told not to get stressed)

Nickel you are still here, ISBN must be having a great time in there. Sending you extra 'nice' labour vibes! C'mon baby!

C'mon Nickel! Nickelbaby only has seven hours and twenty-five minutes left if they're going to be born on my birthday :o No pressure or anything though...

WRT to the monitoring/intervention debate that seems to be running parallel to your birth thread. Just to offer and alternative viewpoint: As you know A was born at 40+18 in Nov 08. My labour with her resulted in her suffering a grade 2/3 HIE which has left her with extensive brain damage and severe autism. I suffered a PPH following her delivery and had to have bits of my placenta removed manually. All very unpleasant BUT if I had to go back to that point I wouldn't do anything differently except to demand a C-Section when they first started dithering over it rather than waiting until things got critical for them to take me to theater. The reason for this is despite A being 'overdue' by a long way she was an average weight (7lb 6oz and absolutely covered in vernix) which to me suggests my body just takes a bit longer than the norm to grow a baby. Thankfully, while she was by no means unscathed, she pulled through and is three years old now. If I'd been induced at 40 weeks as they'd wanted to (for no reason other than severe SPD) she might not have been strong enough to survive the labour the way she did. Or her lungs may not have been developed enough and that extra problem might have made all the difference in her overall survival.

I think the point I'm trying to make is that while modern medicine is wonderful and means we can better monitor an unborn baby for signs of distress pregnancy and birth is still surrounded by a lot of uncertainty. Things can go wrong out of the blue like placental abruption or a problematic pregnancy where there is little hope for the health of the baby can result in a normal labour and birth and healthy baby. We simply don't know. What might be best, or indeed critical, for one mother an dbaby might be dangerous for another. All we can do is try to make the best decision we can with the information that is available to us at the time. You sound like you've done your research, you're taking care of yourself and you're aware of your baby and its movements etc. You've also agreed to be monitored to be on the safeside. If you don't feel induction is the best thing for you and baby then it likely isn't the best thing, at least at this stage. Just keep an open mind and be prepared to throw all your plans to the wind if necessary which I'm sure you will.

Yes, yes ignore those tightenings and whatever you do don't bother timing them. You'll know your in labour when you find yourself leaning across a work surface breathing through them, until then ignore! Is it dinner time?

So, it sounds like it was their dithering that caused the problems? Or at least didn't prevent them.

Your hindsight idea is very sensible, and it does sound like it was the latter stages where things went wrong that caused the problems, not her going overdue.

Thanks, as well, I agree with your last paragraph.
:)

we have just had a bag of chips between us.
Luckily, DH was late coming in, which means we ate at just after 4.
otherwise when would we have got to eat tonight before rushing out to the hospital? (ooh, look, more undue stress!)

Good luck for tonight. In all areas.

Awful spelling and grammar in my last post. I must stop letting the children use me as a climbing frame while I type.

It was a lot of little things that contributed to the putcome of A's birth. The maternity unit was WAY overcrowded and understaffed when I went in and I was just left to my own devices without monitoring. Nobody checked her position (she was back to back with both arms up and head flexed - she wasn't coming without help but her positioning actually saved her life as she'd tied a knot in her cord so had she carried on descending slowly she would have sufficated herself). Add into all that the fact that I was a very nervous, very stressed first time mum who'd rushed into hospital at the first twinge and spent the following 28 hours getting more and more worked up and the first lot of medication I got was supposed to be an anti-emetic but I was given pethedine which I'm allergic to instead and it was no wonder things went wrong - and no wonder I stayed home for my second!

The icing on the cake was the OB who seemed to have a personal vendetta against me (or maybe it was her unique brand of encouragement) as she stood insulting me for not pushing properly after I'd been at it a couple of hours and was exhausted. The words 'pathetic' and 'killing your baby' were used. OH nearly punched her and he's not a violent man.

Through all of it though I can't fault the midwives who looked after me. They kept me calm when things went wrong and took the time to make me feel like a human being not a chore even when they were rushed off their feet. I wasn't a fan of the wards but the delivery suite at medway is fab -you'll be well looked after if you need it (and the OB we had words with is no longer emplyed there so no need to worry about getting her. The consultants I saw in my follow ups were all marvellous!)