With DS the MW tried to give me information to encourage me and commented she had seen his head and he had loads of hair. I invited her to grab a handful and use it to pull him out.
I overdid the gas and air and got a bit drunk on it. I hallucinated about a cat under the bed that had a "people face".
I went in the bathroom for a wee, MW said not to lock the door so of course first thing I did was lock the door. Second thing I did was to not come out again, cue much banging on the door by MW and DH while I knelt on the floor contemplating the logistics of giving birth in there.
Commented "I think my bum is going to turn inside out" (MW: "it might")
When stitching me up afterwards I tearfully made them pinky promise not to accidentally stitch my virginity back together "because my husband won't like it" (I was high on the gas again).
With DD I had an EMCS. The gown they gave me had a tie missing at the back, thank goodness I had my dressing gown for the walk down the corridor to theatre. As we walked in they asked me to take the dressing gown off, mindful of the gown gaping gap over my bum I asked DH "hold the back of my gown together please darling until I get on the table". I felt the back of the gown held together, crossed the room, climbed on the table, and then saw DH still over by the doorway. No idea who held the gown for me.
As the spinal took effect I got a sensation like warm water running down my back and legs: "I think I'm weeing myself" (I thought I discretely whispered it to DH, he says I said it really loudly and everyone chuckled).
When DD was held up for us to see, cord still attached and covered in gunk: "is that one mine?"
The surgeon very nicely leaned over the curtain to tell me it was all going fine and they were nearly finished and I'd been really calm and done really well (I went in for an ECV and had a section with just an hours notice). She had a small splash of gore across her face visor. Me: Anaethetist: