So - those of you who DIDN'T have an epidural

[Cleofartra]

.... and are OK about not having had one, and don't feel cheated or traumatised, what do you think made it possible for you to cope without one?

Given the comments on the other thread about giving birth being similar to the pain of a catastrophic injury or having surgery without anaesthesia, women who haven't given birth might be surprised that ANYONE manages without an epidural and comes out the other side with their mental health intact.

So - what made it possible for you to do without an epidural and feel ok about it afterwards?

Short, uncomplicated labour?

High pain thresh-hold?

Good care?

Other pain relief worked well for you?

With dd I did have an epidural, despite not wanting one pre-labour.

With ds1, I didn't. Quick birth. Had really really prepared myself (antenatal yoga, tens machine, hypnobirthing, homeopathy) and of course, I knew what the birth process was like and what I wanted to avoid (delivering flat on my back with feet in stirrups and pushing like crazy because no check and no feeling- tore badly and stitched badly).

Had gas and air, briefly, but as I said, was a quick birth. Meant to be at home, but no midwives so got to hospital at 10cm and then left about2 hours after ds1 was born.

DS2 was at home. No chance of an epidural,and of course I knew that had managed the pain before.

So really, I think it is knowledge that helped me. I read Ina May Gaskin, I did the ante-natal yoga. I read obsessively about birth experiences and mechanisms. I appreciated that it was going to HURT. Whereas first time, I had no idea - figured I had a high pain threshold and that would cope beautifully. Got panicky, scared, felt tired and unsupported (tired because had marked the early twinges down as labour being in progress when really was just latent).

I should add that I didn't have a positive experience overall as I went home in the middle of the night before my DD had had a proper feed.

We came back the next morning for what I thought would be a simple check-up and ended up in the noisy children's ward with her on a drip for the next 4 days. With hindsight I don't think I should have been allowed home until she'd fed properly.

No pain relief at all but I had a fast labour and when I got to hospital (4 hrs in) I would have taken any pain relief offered, but as it turned out I was 10cm dilated and ready to push. My belief is that a good chunk of it is genetic / body being able to deal with labour and you can't do a lot to get around that. I also think I have quite a high pain threshold (I have a chronic health issue and have had to deal with pain quite a bit) and generally a 'get through things' attitude to life, all of which probably helped. BUT I know for a fact that if I'd had a 20+ (or even a 10+) hour labour then I'd have needed some pain relief.

I didn't have an epidural with dd1 because I made a decision that I didn't want to prolong labour. And it fucking hurt. To the point that I totally ignored the MWs when they told me to pant not push cos I simply couldn't cope with it anymore and wanted her out,now.

With the twins I had 1 because I knew how much it was going to hurt and I couldn't mentally cope with having to push twice (had it at fully dilated). Ended up with an emcs anyway, and have since realised that I cope really well with labour but can not push for toffee after having coped with the labour bit.

not everyone has an epdural because they are scared of the pan. I had one because someone else decided to give me one as they were prepping me for a c-secton. I don't hate people who had 'easy' births or who went pain relief free but I am scared that if I have another I might not feel like I can cope without one.

pain not pan.

Ina May Gaskin is a must read - even if you don't want to go down that route. The stuff you find out about labour and how the hormones act together etc is really interesting. How trying to stay calm in labour reduces adrenalin which in turn helps you push more effectively etc. What I found really interesting was the role of oxytocin (the 'love' hormone), which helps you through the birth and then afterwards when you get a real dump of it and it is this that helps you bond and feed.

I know it all sounds a bit hippyish but it's actually science I have to say with my second, it bloody hurt but as soon as the baby was out, the pain had stopped and the hormones were flying around, the relief and elation was amazing. When I had an epi I felt none of that - was still positive feeling but just not as intense or emotional.

I never felt I needed one. I used a TENS machine at home. Was planning to have a waterbirth in the midwife led unit, but I started pushing at home before I was fully dilated, which made me bleed and when I called the MLU they said I had to go to the labour ward to have the bleed investigated.

Went straight on the gas and air at the hospital. It helped me keep up my natal hypnotherapy breathing. Was 6cm dilated when I was examined at 3.30pm ish and still pushing. I was offered pethidine but I really didn't want it due to side effects for the baby if it's given too late and I felt I was coping fine with the G&A. I was very shouty during a contraction, but it helped me push and wasn't the pain so much as the pressure.

Turned out refusing the pethidine was a good idea as when they examined me again I was fully dilated and my daughter arrived 2 hours after I was admitted. I stopped using the G&A when it came to delivering her - on the midwife's advice.

The natal hypnotherapy and birth preparation I did definitely helped. I had it in my head that I could do it and between contractions I could get my breathing under control and prepare for the next one. The G&A was great. The speed probably helped as well. If I'd been there for 10 hours
maybe things would have been different. I would have an epidural next time if I felt I needed it.

I had a 30 hour labour and gas and air for the last two hours in water. I didn't do the epidural because I was afraid of tearing because I couldn't feel what was happening with my body.

And tbh it made no difference other than the scale of pain was off the scale. I had a nine pound baby and tore. But he was beautiful!

Epidural sounded very clinical and i wanted an active labour, walking around, leaning over a gym ball etc. Basically i said i wouldn't rule it out totally and if i ever felt the pain was so bad i needed one then i'd have one. As it happened the pain only ever got so bad i momentarily thought of asking for one when DS was well on his way and i was way past the point at which they will administer one!

The latent phase was hard - contractions came every 5 to 10 minutes for well over 30 hours so by the time i gave birth i hadn't been able to sleep for over 50 hours. Even though they hadn't been really intense during that time, they were still un-sleep-through-able. I have a high pain threshold. Yes it hurt with a kind of intensity i cannot describe, but it's kind of like an out of body experience. Really weird and totally positive - you just give in to it.

I used a TENS machine (bloody brilliant) and stayed at home as long as possible. By the time i went into hospital i was 6 cms and still walking around the site attached to the TENS machine. When the contractions got too bad for the TENS machine to take the edge off i had gas & air. Lovely, lovely gas and air. Fill your boots.

Oh, and in the grand scheme of things i had a very uncomplicated labour. My lovely DS did everything exactly textbook. He was 8 pounds and 1 ounce and i tore. The most painful part was not the crowning but when the contractions come so fast and hard that it's one long contraction. By that time it's nearly over and that thought keeps you going! I'd do it all again in an instant.

I had an epidural for my first, and not for my second (nothing for him) - which would fall into the category of short uncomplicated birth, and good care.

Nothing to do with pain threshold - 2nd time round it just didn't hurt as much. I think that the fact my waters didn't break until my second was almost born made a huge difference, with my first they broke early on and the pain intensity ramped up x 1 gazillion. She was also back to back though.

How do all you needle phobics donate blood then?

I've had so many needles, canulas, anaesthetics, blood tests, etc. I now know my right arm is better and exactly where it is, too.

The left one is crap. Even anaesthetists have trouble getting canulas in that arm.

I don't like needles and don't have much of a problem giving blood or getting injections. but for some reason the thought of a big (and it is a big one) needle going in my spine horrifies me.

I had an epidural for DS1 and wish I hadn't, I couldn't feel anything (I know that is the idea!!) but then I felt like I wasn't in control of my body which was worse than the pain actually. With DS2 there wasn't enough time, and what made it possible was just the fact that the baby HAS to come out basically! I don't think I have a particulary high pain threshold, I just held onto the bed so hard I had bruises all up my arms and I screamed my head off to get through it

I had an epidural with DS1 and really regret it. Was convinced to lie on teh bed, given drugs to speed things up, enede up with a forceps delivery and narrowly avoided a c section. I asked for one because I was scard and convinced I couldn't cope with the pain. i wonder if I ahd laboured naturally and actively I would ahve had a better outcome.

DS2 was a home birth with a very limited amount of gas and air (it ran out!!) and tens early on. I prepared myself better and felt I could cope. I remember saying "I can do this, I can do this" a lot!! I am not saying it didnt hurt, it bloody did, but I would never ask for an epidural again. Being able to be active and moving around was fantastic and teh recovery was a doddle compared to no.1

no. 3 due in July and planning another home birth, looking into lots of alternatives: hypnobirthing etc. DH commented last night that I am getting "more hippyish" with each birth, and i have surprised myself as I remember laughing at someone talking about hypnobirthing before DS!

I do believe that we are conditioned to think we cannot cope with the pain of labour and that your attitude towards it makes a hige difference.

I read "stand and Deliver" before 2nd birth and cannot recommmend it highly enough. It totally convinced me taht i could do it!

My mum had an epidural with each of her 4 children and none of them worked, without any reason ever being established. So, she was just stuck on her back in bed in incredible pain rather than being able to move around and in manageable pain.

This rather put me off the idea of an epidural...

I just didn't grow up seeing it in the same positive light as many other people.

AMAZING midwife who made me feel positive and at ease (well, as at ease as possible), and good environment - at home for ages (see below) then in low-lit birthing centre.

Positioning. Aforementioned mw said 'you're not hoping to have the baby on the bed, I hope', and had me balanced over a beanbag for an hour or so, then on a birthing stool. Also luck regarding positioning of baby - she was in pole position and ready to go.

Impossibility - contractions were every 10 mins, then every 5 for hours so hospital said I wasn't in labour. By the time I could go in, I was fully dilated (or pretty much) and it was time to push.

G&A worked for me, thank god.

Next time will have an epidural though!! It freakin' hurt! Had to have a spinal for the stitches so didn't quite get away without one...

I used hypnobirthing so labour didn't really hurt. My amazing midwives kept me calm and focused which helped. I was asked to have an epidural with my last birth due to being high risk for an emcs but I felt that an epidural would raise that risk as I would not be responding to my body with my movement/position changes so I said no. Needles don't bother me but lack of control does.

Two labours with just gas and air. Not sure I was inhaling the G&A properly as never felt in the slightest 'high' but was very helpful psychologically!
First labour 8.5 hours, second 2.5 hours, so quick, which helped. Had a doula, which I think also helped. Felt 'in control' Laboured kneeling up, facing headboard of bed, which helped block out everyone else (other than DH and doula) so I could concentrate on 'working with' the pain. That sounds a bit odd, but found that by really concentrating on it, I could deal with it - when people distracted me and tried to talk to me, it started to feel out of control and unbearable so had to block them out.

Someone up thread said they took a bit of an intellectual interest in their own pain in labour: I was the same (and thought I was the only freaky person who thought like this). My reason was that so many women - including my mother - have told me it is the worst pain imaginable, you are closer to death in labour than at any other time etc etc. I broke my spine in 2 places three years before DS was born so I wanted to know almost as an experiment - is labour worse than that? The answer for me was no. Nowhere even close - although apart from the spinal injury it was definitely the worst, and strangest pain I ever experienced. The whole experience was so intense it was like it wasn't really part of me - I was almost observing it.

My labour was very long but I desperately didn't an epidural, partly due to the spinal injury. I'm not scared of needles but I didn't want one anywhere near my spine.

However due to very bad tear in first labour I am having an elective C section this time, so someone better give me an epidural!

(I agree about morphine based drugs btw - you're still in pain but you just don't care.)

Okay I've not had this baby yet but I just want to say a huge thank you for this thread. I don't want an epidural (needle/spine/ick, not being able to move around, likelihood of interventions etc) and reading all these positive and even not so positive experiences about women who've done it and loved it or just come through it is incredible. It's given me so much confidence that it really is doable.

I'm sort of between the two threads, I had an epidural but told them not to top it up for the last 8/9 hours. I didn't experience pain that bad, but I was induced and had a very long labour so everyone seemed to think I needed everything going. I was ok but not in any state to discuss not wanting drugs, I was shattered and they kept asking gentley so just said ok. After a sleep though I said not to top up. If they hadn't offered multiple times I probably would have never asked for one. I was rather spaced out and just let everything happen around me. Maybe it was the fact I was so quiet and dis-engaged that worried them. Considering that it was 36 hours though I'd have the diamorphine again as the sleep it gave me was invaluable.

I've watched this debate with interest, I had SUCH a different experience. I think there is a policy for when you need one it seems, ie normal birth=you'll be ok; induced=you can't cope without. Being induced it was borderline pushed onto to me along with diamorphone. I didn't have a bad birth because of it, but on the other hand maybe it could have been shorter without. Even with the drip I didn't seems to contract properly and I had no urge to push, I simply pushed in the way described when told to do so. But then this was 9 hours after the last top up so maybe it's just how my body worked?

I gave birth to my DD with gas and air and the aid of forceps.

I wasn't totally anti epidurals but just didn't feel that I needed anything other than gas and air and TENS initially until the actual moment the forceps came into play and at that point it would have been nice to have an epidural but far too late.