So - those of you who DIDN'T have an epidural

[Cleofartra]

.... and are OK about not having had one, and don't feel cheated or traumatised, what do you think made it possible for you to cope without one?

Given the comments on the other thread about giving birth being similar to the pain of a catastrophic injury or having surgery without anaesthesia, women who haven't given birth might be surprised that ANYONE manages without an epidural and comes out the other side with their mental health intact.

So - what made it possible for you to do without an epidural and feel ok about it afterwards?

Short, uncomplicated labour?

High pain thresh-hold?

Good care?

Other pain relief worked well for you?

I think outcomes in emergency are great here and outcomes for normal, would-be-uncomplicated-if-a-bit-long births are unnecessarily poor in terms of women coming out of it very unhappy and being told to be thankful that they and their babies haven't died under a tree on the savannah.

Do you think EANP I thought we compared favourably with other countries? The prospect of midwives becoming more stretched is very scary indeed.

I was enduced as I'd gone over my dates and I went into labour with an open mind, not ruling anything out but fully accepting that it was going to hurt. And the contractions did. A lot.

I had gas and air which they took off me for the pushing stage so I could focus as I was getting carried away with it! However I was relieved to be pushing, the pain felt useful at that point.

DD got stuck as she was side on and I needed a ventouse and episiotomy as her heart rate was dropping. They also put me on the drip to ramp up the contractions to speed things up. Two more immense contractions and she was out.

Despite this, I view my birth experience as positive.

I have 2 children, both planned homebirths.

I honestly believe that if you HAVE to cope, then you will. You can't have anything more than g&a at home, and therefore you just get on with it. I'm not saying that giving birth without pain relief is a better way to give birth, or deserves a round of applause or anything - for a lot of people it will absolutely be a better experience to have the pain removed from the equation - but if you want to have a baby without the epidural, then stay at home (assuming you have had a risk free pregnancy and are a good candidate for a home birth) - you won't have an epidural if there isn't one to have!

Contractions started with DD1 on Weds evening, she was born on Sunday morning - I was totally knackered, and the last 3 hours (after my waters had broken) were very painful... but as my husband said at the time "you can do this - you have to!"... so I did.

DD2 was much quicker, thank the Lord.

Also, having 2 MWs full attention for the established part of labour helped - a concensus in the room that you are an amazing woman about to give birth - very empowering and made the pain less all-encompassing.

For me at least.

Midwives in a lot of cases make it or break it. Sad for them that they don't often get the chance to do the job they wanted to do when they started.

I was partly scared of the needle, partly had too many concerns about cascade of interventions, and partly must just have a fairly high pain threshold. Both DD1 and DD2 were quite fast, straightforward labours - had DD1 at home in a pool so there were plenty of good hormones floating around that gave me a lot of help coping with contractions. Also very good support, DH and a doula and a MW who basically let us get on with things. Had G&A for the pushing but the water had really really helped up til that point.

DD2 was born in hospital (she came at 35.5 weeks) but labour was fast, went from nothing to pushing in about 3 hours and only managed to get G&A in time for the last few minutes. Again I had very good support, was allowed an active labour despite continuous monitoring - I'm sure things could have been different if they'd insisted I lie down on the bed.

So the key was definitely having people support me throughout, and also a fairly high pain threshold (possibly not really realising things were happening as fast as they were!)

xpost with Boobz, yes definitely agree that having people believe that you can do this thing, it really really helps. I'm in no way saying that positive thinking is enough to get you through transition, but it definitely makes things seem rosier!

i just had gas and air both times and i was a " i will have every drug going" person.
i think it was:
staying very calm
not wanting to be out of control (ie not being able to move around) staying upright walking about the ENTIRE time apart from right at the end
and... a TENS machine which was great. i also have a ver high pain theshold or so ive been told. i was in agony though dont get me wronf

Have had 4 babies

No epidurals

With ds1, induction, I coudln't have one as the anesthetist was too busy. Couldn;t have an indiucated emergency CS for same reason. Amazing I ahve ds1 with me frankly. or indeed that I am here (eclampsia).

The otehrs- I read mroe about epidurals and was terrified: I have scar tissue on my spne that stopped me walking much for 3 months in my twenties and didnt want that knocked at all. So with ds2 (OP labour, 40+ hours); ds3 (3 hour labour, easy enough as they go) ds4 (35 minute labour, most painful of all, HB) it was sheer bloody mindedness and forward planning- with the exception of ds1 as high risk first birth ds3 (and that wasn't choice, low haemoglobin results changed delivery location) I booked myself into places that didn;t offer epidural

I agree that walking about and staying upright seemed to speed things up. Well it did for me.
It just sort of seems to make sense as well, I mean, its gravity

Too many people don't believe the thing about walking around, it is so different in terms of pain (or can be, grr generalisations) they just see it as fussy I think sometimes

i was scared of the needle too.

i also had very bad period pains so contractions weren't that much worse.

i had G&A becuse ds was b2b and my back was agony, plus i had managed to send my back into spasm a few days before so it was very, very painful.

got rushed off for an emcs so had the needle anyway. it was really hard having to keep as still as a statue while having a contraction and trying to push at the same time.

in terms of neonatal mortality - depends which european nation you want for comparison - the netherlands does better. France does better (though is less demographically comparable)

in terms of general well-being- i think the UK is a bit shoddy. too many unnecessary interventions (and a terrible attitude from staff with it)- and in some cases the opposite case - women giving birth alone in hospital.

i know too many women whose birth experience was bad to endorse the Uks system.

Yes to relatively short labours.

Second and third time I was more in control and knew exactly what was happening to me and could dictate what I wanted and didn't want.

Pain threshold - I don't know as I don't know what is 'normal' and what isn't.

Good care? I have no complaints - people were there when I needed them so I think that counts as good enough.

I was lucky.

all three midwives attending said they thought walking = a great way to move the baby down. It makes sense.

you don't have a poo on your back, after all.

of course it doesn't help in every case.

SwallowedaFly I think some midwives say that to get themselves off the hook. It turns it round on the birthing woman. There isn't anything wrong with having an idea of how a NORMAL birth should go, what makes it hard is knowing that some of the things you had to change in your birth plan were unnecessary, not productive, you didn't get to really know why they were done.
Of course if it's an emergency or there really is an anomaly in the birth (eg head properly stuck) then that is different but if it's 'oh your waters broke 24 hours ago so we're going to induce and yes you didn't want that and it's not strictly necessary yet but TOUGH it's protocol oh are you feeling stroppy about it? What a shame for you, you must be rather demanding' then that's another.

Boobz - I remember your live homebirth thread. Was one of the mumsnet high points for me!

Good thread.

In reference to the OP, I was one of the posters on the other thread drawing a sort-of comparison between childbirth and surgery.... only in the sense that for me, when things started to go a bit wrong that was a VERY different sort of pain. I didn't feel any braver/more noble trying to keep conscious through that level of pain than I would have done in any other comparably painful situation. I CAN imagine that people do it without, honest - I even know some of them :)

Anyway, frustrated because I can't answer on the other thread and being very careful not to digress here! I've genuinely enjoyed reading women's positive stories.

DD1 very slow birth I was pushing for ages, no idea how long though! DD2 much quicker but had to be monitored so was on a bed.

I managed with no pain relief as I was able to stay very calm, DH was amazing both times and helped me with my breathing. If a doctor came in while I was having a contraction my concentration went a bit so it was more painful. I did loose control both times at the transition phase, but DH said I never screamed, the pain seemed to take over my body and I couldn't cope at all. But once that was over able to oush both DD's out in a very controled way.

i had an epidural for no 1 - I had v. high blood pressure, odema and I was 3 days overdue. They decided to induce as contractions were "unco-ordinated". However, birth itself was traumatic - ventouse (sp?), baby in distress, no urge to push, terrified.

Part of the problem was that I was left alone, without midwife, for ages. When babies heart rate began to dip below 70, I had DH go call a midwife. :( This was in St Peters, Chertsey - one of the subjects of the Kennedy commission, and still not highly regarded. During the same week, a baby died due to negligence at the unit.

No 2 and No 3 were delivered in a different hospital. My community midwife delivered No 2, and the student midwife at that delivery delivered No 3. :)

In both No 2&3 I had gas and air only. It hurt, but my midwife was attentive and kind and calm and reassuring. The most effective statement she made was "hatti, you are coping well at 5cm, the pain will not get any worse, they will just get closer together. But if you need more, just ask, but I think you can do this with just G&A" - which was true. As it was, with both No 2&3 I went from 5cm to 10cm in about 25 minutes. probably as midwife encouraged me to get off the bed and move around.

I think our expectattions are so unrealistic with first babies, and the pain is shocking. All my NCT classes had said it was like bad period pains...yeah, right

But with subsequent babies, you know you can do it, you can focus on the outcome.

Midwives make all the difference.

WIth No 3, midwife was lovely, but we caught her offguard...she rushed in all flustered as I was mooing about pushing, saying "oh bloody hell, I knew you were going to be quick, but at least let me get my bloomin' gloves on!"

We even managed to have a laugh about the lady next door, who was 10 hours in, with "whale song and candles" was not going to get off the bed. MW said she was going to march right in there and tell Mrs Whalesong that I delivered in less than 2 hours because I was on my feet.

paracetamol, pethidine, warm bath and someone to rub my back. Oh and tens machine.
It honestly was not bad at all, except the head. That bloody hurt. And the stitches.

For me it was being at home, really supportive midwife, fairly quick labours, being very mobile, to find best positions.