So - those of you who DIDN'T have an epidural

[Cleofartra]

.... and are OK about not having had one, and don't feel cheated or traumatised, what do you think made it possible for you to cope without one?

Given the comments on the other thread about giving birth being similar to the pain of a catastrophic injury or having surgery without anaesthesia, women who haven't given birth might be surprised that ANYONE manages without an epidural and comes out the other side with their mental health intact.

So - what made it possible for you to do without an epidural and feel ok about it afterwards?

Short, uncomplicated labour?

High pain thresh-hold?

Good care?

Other pain relief worked well for you?

I agree with PP who said it was a "positive" pain and comes and goes. Had flu recently with temp of 39c and full body aches which I thought was worse than labour. Am guessing I was just lucky with my labour though as babe was an LOA so perfect presentation and very low.

I only used gas and air.

My reading beforehand made me scared of epidurals because of the small risk of headache for weeks after; tiny, tiny risk of paralysis; and bigger risk of the potential effect on labour - slowing it down, making it harder to push, more likelihood of ventouse/forceps/Caesarian.

These anxieties were strong enough to keep an epidural right out of my mind until my 5th (and final) labour, only 17 months after my 4th. I was tired and the memory of the (posterior) fourth was too painfully vivid in my mind.

I had an epidural (rubbish, only worked on one side!) - and lo and behold, instead of the second stage lasting less than ten minutes, as it had done with other four labours, it took me over half an hour to push baby out in second stage.
I felt glad then that I had not had one before.

For me remaining a degree of control over myself by being able to walk around & move freely was more beneficial than relief from contraction pains & the inevitable loss of power & medicalisation.

Also expecting a lot of pain helped, I didn't have high expectations of my ability to cope without pain relief so had a very open mind about labour.

I try & visualise my way through each contraction & deal with each one at a time. I always try & remind myself after each one that I now have one less to get through. Personally I think labour is harder when you start worrying about how much longer you can go on for & wondering if it is going to be hours more etc. For me I have to switch off from all that & deal with the now & nothing more.

FWIW I have given birth with & without epidural. the epidural delivery was by far the worst due to the assisted delivery & the physical pain & trauma of that. Can't complain though as those interventions may have saved my beautiful sons life. I am now pretty wary of being on the bed during labour & would hate to end up in forceps again.

I think knowledge and preparation make a huge difference. For every horror story i heard i read a positive birth story. It's amazing to see the common themes in many positive birth experiences.

I wouldn't run a marathon without preparation and wouldn't expect to know how to help myself to birth effectively without the same sort of preparation.

I didn't have perfect easy births DC1 induced with pessary when overdue. Midwife wouldn't believe I was having contractions told me to go back to bed Took 2 hrs to convince her. After VE she called delivery only to be told they were full and I'd have to wait. Only pain relief was pethidine which i accepted an hour later. Transferred to delivery and was pushing within 30 mins of arrival Total time 4 hrs from contractions starting to delivery. spent 3 1/2 hrs on my own as visiting hours were over!! I was 18 yrs old.

DC2 18 yrs later. 34 hr labour, back to back Planned home birth but admitted to hospital after 32hrs for failure to progress. Syntocin drip, went from 2-10 cm in less than 2 hrs. Bloody painful stuck on bed being monitored with only gas & air. But as soon as able to push felt back in control and baby out in no time.

Physically birth 2 was much more painful (particularly when on drip!) Much more exhausting obviously but on the whole a better experience as i felt listened to and supported by both my partner and midwife.

By the way DC1 at DC2 birth and helped deliver him. DC3 due in July planning a home waterbirth doing lots of yoga and relaxation techniques.
Wish me luck

I had another induction with my second, ARM and then the drip when nothing progressed. The contractions when they did start were big and not much in between. I used gas and air.

I think the factors that made my birth enjoyable were my birth partner, who was my mum and was very firm and supportive with me, talked me through the pain. Also the length of my labour, which was 1 hour 34 minutes from first contraction to baby on my chest. I was much more relaxed second time around, knowing what to expect, starting at 3cm due to it being a second baby, and having someone who actually helped as a birth partner rather than made me want to kill them.

I actually enjoyed the pushing stage, it felt amazing, not painful at all. Really magic moment in my life, I could feel my body working and her coming and I got a massive rush all through my body.

Post birth, there was not even a graze to worry about, after a shot of pethidine for my pelvis, which was really complaining after the weight of the baby was off it, I had a lovely bath, some dinner and tucked in for the night. When she turned out to be restless, they took her off to the nursery and returned only for breastfeeding.

I look back on that labour and birth fondly. I'd love to do it again, and I would aim to do it as drug free as possible, because I think it enhanced the experience.

With my first baby i was unprepared. had no ante-natal classes... figured the midwives would tell me what to do at the time and, after all, the baby was going to come out regardless!
i wanted pain relief, cos why would you not?
had an epidural which led to the classic cascade of intervention- contractions stopped, hooked up to syntocinon drip, flat on my back, couldn't push effectively, eventually had ds1 by ventouse delivery which caused a big tear, lots of blood loss.. i was taken to theatre, he didn't get a first feed, all the drugs i'd had affected him, he was very sleepy had a headache and point blank refused to breastfeed...

aaaaaaaaaanyway, for my second i decided to have a homebirth. My midwife was very concerned about the fact that i'd only be offered gas and air, given the tough time and amount of drugs i'd had first time round- but i was of the opinion that if it wasn't available i'd just have to get on with it!
I was reading a Derren Brown book one day though and he talked a bit about positive thinking and visualisation, placebos etc and the huge effect it can have on pain.
So... i belonged to a very um, i dunno, crunchy? website at the time where the vast majority were into homebirth etc, and I asked everyone for their top tips on coping with pain.
From this I compiled a list of techniques to practise and to use during labour.

ds2's birth was so utterly, utterly different and wonderful.
I wanted to do it again straight after!
I think the biggest thing that helped with the pain was being in control. I was in my own house and could do what I wanted.
I had 2 midwives with me, so I felt safe- and they were happy for me to labour however I wanted to with minimal intervention.
I was also just determined to get through this myself- so I listened to my body. if I tried to sit or lie down it hurt so much worse, so i stood and walked and leaned on dp and actually by the time the midwives had arrived I was already 8cm dilated! I felt I was at the same point I was at with ds1 when I'd arrived at hospital, so was expecting to be 3-4cm! so was a big shock

The atmosphere was really calm. I used my positive thinking techniques- these included trying to remind myself that each contraction would end, repeating words over to myself during the contraction etc etc.

I did at one point shout that it was just hurting too much and i didn't want to do it any more and I wanted an epidural lol, but he was born the next contraction.

they never did bring the gas and air in from the car, so i had a totally drug free birth.

I know it sounds all earth-mother, hippy-ish, but it was truly a wonderful experience. I felt so utterly proud of myself for doing it all by myself because deep down i wasn't really sure I could, esp given my first birth experience.

I did homebirth again for my 3rd ds, and again did it with no pain relief, but that's cos he was so quick no-one arrived in time to give it to me.

So, for me it was nothing to do with pain threshold, i really don't think mine is that high, but it was everything to do with where I was, who I had with me and how I dealt with and worked through the pain

I think the fact that between contractions I felt 'normal' helped. I also kept thinking this has an end to it. Gas and air was the drug for me, loved it. I had urges to push from 8cm and rapidly progressed to fully. I remember telling my midwife that I wanted a VE to check if I was fully dilated and if not to make me fully and if she couldn't then 'TO GET ME AN EPIDURAL NOW.' Needless to say I was in transition so didn't need the epidural in the end but I would have had it if I'd needed it.

I had a VBAC and was desperate to avoid a cs, as ds was born with major breathing difficulties partly due to cs. I walked up and down (early on) or hung off dh (later on!) until the mw made me get on the bed to deliver, which I am sure made a difference - I could feel dd moving down, and like everyone else said, it's gravity isn't it?

Breathing helped me immensely. I held off gas and air for as long as possible, but when I did use it I think it was the breathing control (ie in and out through the mouth piece) that helped more than the gas. It kept me in control.

In my first pg I had very bad epigastric pain due to pre-eclampsia and, for me, that was worse than labour pain. The height of a contraction was more painful, but I got a break between them and I knew it was going somewhere, so much better than scary constant pain for no discernable reason. I had very low expectations (mainly due to low pain threshold!) and was convinced I would be delerious with pain and completely out of control, so it was actually not as bad as I was expecting! I do know that I was lucky though with a relatively quick and straightforward labour.

I didn't have an epidural for my first, for no other reason than at the time my needle phobia was so crippling that I would rather have died than have a needle shoved into my spine!

And it was fine. I was induced on the wednesday.

and the thursday

and the friday

and on the saturday they broke my waters because that gel was doing feck all!

And the hooked me up to that synoc thingie drip

and I was contracting from 9am until he was born at 7 or 8 or something in the evening. (I am a very odd mother who does not remember things like time of birth, date of first steps etc )

I had gas & air. I had a shot of pethadine at one point that did feck all.

labour itself was no big deal. it hurt like hell. but it was no big deal.

Pushing was like trying to shit out a fridge! But then he did turn out to be 10lb 4oz!

He got stuck though - whole drama I'm not going to go into - but labour itself was fine up to that point.

I truly don't think it was all that bad, really. I think that if you just accept it and let your body do what it knows how to do, then it's not a big deal. It's just pain. and as soon as the baby is out, it stops. and I can't remember it now. I remember that it hurt, but what it actually felt like - well, that disappeared as soon as it stopped!

Now, no2, I was forced to have an epidural because they were planning a cs if it looked like same thing would happen again (shoulder dystocia). I bloody hated it. 4 days inducing me again! breaking waters again. whole day from breaking waters to having baby. this one was born just before midnight.

I felt oddly dissociated from it and I think that was because of the epidural. In the end, I told them to not top it up so that I could feel something.

I used G&A during my 3 labours and had pethidine for 2 of them (pretty useless in the dosage available) but although I knew an epidural was available, I just didn't consider it as an option at the time. It would have felt too invasive.

I also found the breathing exercises I learned at ante natal classes to be surprisingly effective.

I have 2DCs, one with an epidural and one without. The second time round I had followed a fellow MNetter's advice and read Ina May Gaskin's guide to childbirth. I had also used the natal hypnotherapy VBAC CD's. In labour with DC2 I remember thinking that this was as painful as the point where I asked for an epidural with DC1. The difference was that I was properly mentally prepared making the pain acceptable, and leaving me feeling very calm and in control.

I have posted quite vociferously on the other thread about the fact that women, if they ask for an epidural, should be given one and not talked out of it.

However, I personally did not have a bad birth experience. I don't think it was that painful tbh. I had a puff of gas just to see what it was like, didn't think much of it, and just walked about a bit to ease off the pain. Labour lasted an hour and a half from start to finish. No tearing. I felt as happy as a sandboy afterwards.

Mind you, I think I was very fortunate, I am very tall, with a wide pelvis, and was very young and fit when I had dd. So nature on my side.

That doesn't mean I get a medal. Just because I thought labour was a walk in the park doesn't mean I deeply sympathise with women who found it excrutiating and desperately wanted pain relief. I strongly believe that women in labour are infantalised, and that their wishes for pain relief should be listened to. I don't think medicalisation of childbirth is necessarily a bad thing.

No pain relief either time. I have a high pain threshold and had lots of support. I had also witnessed my sister giving birth without so much as a squeak so that gave me confidence.
I also have slight masochistic tendencies.

First time - absolutely terrifed of an epidural, to the point that I put myself through THE most horrendous pain of a prolonged OP labour without ever asking for one.

Second time - still absolutely terrified of an epidural but MORE terrified of labour. All prepared to ask for one, mentioned it when I got to hospital. Then before MW could even examine me I was pushing and DD born 20 mins later!

I didn't, despite a back to back 37 hour labour.

I had crap care, as well. I was induced and left on the Antenatal ward for over twenty-four hours in labour with no pain releif at all, except the TENS machine I'd brought with me.

They even forgot to hand my notes over correctly - I was left on the ward because the night shift midwife hadn't told the day shift that my waters had broken.

In some ways, though, I think having to cope with those first hours without it meant that the G&A when I got it wassuch a relief (as was knowing I was acknowledged as actually being in labour) that even when they racked the Syntocinon drip so high the midwife asked the OB attending if she was sure, it was enough.

It ended up a ventouse delivery and I was flat on my back for hours, despite saying I didn't want to be.

BUT - I was adamant I wasn't having one - messing around with needles near the spine. Urgh!

I was induced both times, and both times used TENS initially then G&A, then towards the end morphine injection. Actually got morphine 15 min before I delivered 2nd time as they didn't realise I was in transition and that was why I suddenly couldn't cope! It made me really sick and woozy so I am hoping that this time i can do without the morphine and just use TENs and G&A which are both brilliant.
I think being calm and really focused on my breathing really helped me too. Doing relaxation and prenatal yoga probably helped me prepare mentally

No doubt it DID help that both labours were less than 8 hours and relatively straightforward. I was also terrified at prospect of assisted delivery and felt that epidural could lead to that so was determined to avoid it. I suppose having a sister who is Obs consultant who told me to avoid epidural at all costs probably helped too

i had 24 hours of latent labour where i used a TENS machine then 12 hours of labour where i used gas and air and laboured in the pool (though i had to get out for the last 2 hours and push my son out on a birthing stool as he got a bit stuck)

i was in a birthing centre where no epidurals were available so i knew i just had to get on with it really (had more drugs been available i'm sure i would have requested them all in the heat of hte moment!)

I found the birthing ball and pool brilliant for helping with the pain - cannot imagine lying down in bed for labour. Gas and air also really helped me - not sure how much it really alleviates the pain but it makes you care less about it and gives you something to do!

its worth remembering that contractions start and stop so you do have breaks in-between them where you are not in pain!

Like splodge I gave birth in a birthing centre so knew that if I wanted an epidural I would have to go to a hospital in an ambulance...the idea of moving from the delivery room or staying still enough for a needle to be put in my back just wasn't an option in my mind.
I have no idea how i did it without an epidural to be honest...I was waiting to pass out from the pain, but I agree with many of the other posters...moving around lots and keeping upright really helped.

I didn't want an epidural as I thought it might be bad for my baby. I used a tens machine throughout the contractions gradually increasing the level (plus paracetamol). I thought I'd try to cope as long as possible but with the option of intervention if medically necessary.

I'd planned to have a water birth but the pool wasn't available. Otherwise I'd wanted an 'active' birth standing up but I actually ended up just lying on my back. I used the tens machine throughout the birth. Oh, and gripping my DH's hand so hard that I thought I was going to break his bones!

I had to have 3 stitches afterwards and used gas and air for that. They put some local anaesthetic in too but I was SOooo glad the G&A was to hand when they stuck the (sewing?) needle in and missed the anaesthetised area :-( !!!

BTW - thanks everyone for contributing to this very positive and useful thread. They're talking about the availability of epidurals on Woman's Hour tomorrow. Might email the programme and make sure they've looked at the comments here!

I stayed away from the hospital as long as possible with ds2 and with dd had a home birth
had great 1:1 support in both those births which is why I did ok. I also chilled out by myself for a while with ds2 which I found to be good. and had tens with ds2 and water with dd.
if I'd wanted an epidural then been told I couldn't have one, that would have made the pain seem far far worse. a lot of it is about managing not to panic. If women want epidurals they should be able to have them (informed consent of course) not be patronised and lied to in order to cover up the lack of mws and anaesthetists