So - those of you who DIDN'T have an epidural

[Cleofartra]

.... and are OK about not having had one, and don't feel cheated or traumatised, what do you think made it possible for you to cope without one?

Given the comments on the other thread about giving birth being similar to the pain of a catastrophic injury or having surgery without anaesthesia, women who haven't given birth might be surprised that ANYONE manages without an epidural and comes out the other side with their mental health intact.

So - what made it possible for you to do without an epidural and feel ok about it afterwards?

Short, uncomplicated labour?

High pain thresh-hold?

Good care?

Other pain relief worked well for you?

It was a short uncomplicated labour an hour from twinge to baby - I wanted an epidural but in the end it was just so quick and uncomplicated and I couldn't sit still!

I did have an epidural in my first labour. DD was back to back, her heart rate was dipping so I was stuck on my back on the bed and the pain was unbearable. Pethidine made me feel very ill and completely out of control but did little for the pain and actually the epidural did very little for me either.

2nd labour was over quite quickly, didn't realise it was the real thing for quite a while as contractions never got regular. Got to hospital at 9cm, had gas and air then all of a sudden my waters went and he came out within 10 minutes. I was scared by how quickly it went but don't remember it being that painful. I found the afterpains worse.

3rd time I was very relaxed, had read a lot, was adamant I wasn't going to lie on the bed (had been birth partner for my sister and seen her made to lie on the bed and end up with epidural and in lots of pain) and felt very in control. I had G&A for a short while but as things got worse I found it just got in the way. I did find it very painful, particularly as he had a huge head!! There was a while when I thought OMG this is too much, wtf am I doing. But the contractions are over quite quickly so you know you have a break coming. I know the pain is for a reason and is getting me somewhere and that somewhere has my baby there!! I understood what was happening to me, the different stages I was at so I felt calm and in control. I think that and being able to move around as I wanted made all the difference.
I still would have liked an epidural for the afterpains though!

"I have a high tolerance of pain - this is a genetic thing, not something that makes me 'better' than anyone else. That's just genetic luck!"

How can any of us measure these things anyway! And how much of it is about attitude and how much is physiological? Hard to know.

Pain relief in labour is personal choice. Pain isn't an measurable thing, it's just information that's interpreted by our brains and is totally subjective.

Before I gave birth I was keen to avoid epidural and hoped not to need any hefty pain meds.

As it turned out I was quite happy to labour without any sort of pain relief, both times. That was my choice. It being my choice made it doable.

First labour 12 hours. HWB transferred to hospital for ventuse (performed with a shot of local).

Second 4 hours, home birth. One of the best experiences of my life.

Constant 1 to 1 care from MW (except when I sent her away) and excellent support from DP were worth more than I'll ever be able to explain.

I truly believe that if I'd felt I needed pain relief and been denied it then the subsequent fear and panic would have made labour feel much, much, more painful. Probably totally unbearable and traumatic.

There were moments when I panicked and was frightened. My experience of the pain was totally different then, excruciating. Thankfully I was always able to get a handle on it again.

'Short, uncomplicated labour?'

I had nothing with DD2. Tried a puff of G&A it just made me sick and gave me a panic attack.

During labour, however, the contractions weren't nearly as painful as with DD1 and DS (DD2 is the middle child).

I asked for one, but by the time the anaesthetist arrived, i was nearly 10cm so it was too late. I coped by having pethidine and G&A, so I was completely off my tits. Still took four hours after that though, so I could have had one in the end.

I've given birth 3 times with no epidural, through sheer bloody mindedness I think!

I had a lumbar puncture 5 years before I got pregnant with dd1 and it gave me excruciating headaches for months and months, so I was determined never to let anyone mess with my back ever again!

When I went into labour with dd1 we discovered she was posterior and I was offered an epidural - refused it. Labour was 37 hours with syntocin drip, ventouse delivery and I didn't realise I'd done anything brave until the new shift came on and every midwife who came in to see me said "wow! 10lb baby with a drip and ventouse and posterior and no epidural! Well Done!"

It just never occured to me to ask for it. The diamorph was good, the gas and air amazing.

But .... when it comes down to it I reckon it was the midwives. I gave birth in a small district GH with an OB on call but mainly midwife led and I was the only woman in labour that day. So I had the undivided attention of one, sometimes 2 midwives as well as dh and the OB dropping in every couple of hours to see how I was (and he totally respected the midwives judgement so there was no conflict). I was helped to be mobile, had a midwife sitting with me all the time who had her hand on my uterus so that she could feel the contraction beginning before I did and get me on the gas and air in time to get me through the pain.

Dd1 was a 9lb12oz monster "stargazer" (born face up) baby and I am immensely proud that I got her out! One of me greatest achievements!!

I think because I did it with her, it never occured to me to ask for an epidural with the other two. I had diamorph and gas and air with ds, then just gas and air with dd2 (who was an unfavourable induction at 37 weeks due to my health). An epidural just never entered my head.

It can be done. If there were more midwives out there giving real dedicated one to one care throughout labour, I think it would be done more often!

Having laboured previously albeit with an epidural eventually, and knowing that the hcp did not believe I was labouring and so was never going to be allowed pain relief of any kind

the pain was as bad as it was in my first labour, but I bore it better

I had to breathe through it because that was all I could do.

I am not advocating removing pain relief from other women!!! I think if this had happened to me in my first labour I would have had a breakdown of some kind

"I demanded a LOT of admiration for DD's birth"

I was on such a hormonal high after my second that I was slightly manic for about three days. Less so after ds2's birth. But then ds 2 was born on 6.7.05 and the day after my husband lost a lovely colleague in the 7/7 bombings, so we were all very subdued.

I had two home births, am scared of hospitals and not great with the thought of giant needles into spine.

I did have gas and air and the second time gave birth in water. Oh, and a tens machine the second time around. And I did hypnobirthing. It was never more than I could cope with, but I know that I've been lucky.

I had an epidural on DS and found that it made a traumatic labour 10 times more difficult and felt like I wasn't in control of a damn thing.

Had Gas and Air on DD. It was a conscious decision made as soon as I found out I was pregnant.

Don't get me wrong labour is beyond painful, I haven't had worse headaches, I haven't had worse Gall Bladder pains (and they are bad) and wouldn't want to give any first time mums the wrong impression. Labour is unique to each woman, otherwise there would be a Haynes Manual.

Some women squeak and fart the baby out, others feel like their bodies have been ripped in two.

The absence of the epidural on DD meant that I felt in control of everything despite the pain. It was my baby, my process, my pain and I actually felt all the better just for that.

First birth - textbook labour, had G+A and pethidine both of which really took the edge off the pain - and paracetamol in the early stages which surprisingly did help. Fairly active labour, dd in good position - she did come out with a hand on her cheek which resulted in an internal tear which did take a while to heal.

Second birth - very slow gentle and frustrating early labour over 3 days, contractions started an stopped and only really got painful about 5 hours before the birth. Had gas and air but decided I didn't need pethidine. Found the late stages of labour very very painful, but you know got through it and was lovely being more with it when ds arrived. Pushed through second stage very quickly to get it over with as in so much pain and did tear, which was annoying. Not sure what I'd do if I was to do it again - which i'm not.
Didn't want epi - didn't fancy catheter - and wouldn't want one.Was scared that it would slow things and result in intervention. I have quite a low pain threshold, but childbirth is a different type of pain.

I had gas and air with my DC. I think I must be very lucky that I've had very fast births with all but the first (and that was only 5 hrs), and none of them got 'too' painful for me to feel that I couldn't cope, just with the G&A air and concentrating on my breathing.

I would honestly say I would rather have a baby than go to the dentist or have a migraine. I know that must make people want to slap me, but it's true.

I can't imagine what it must be like to go through hours of hideous pain in childbirth and I feel very sorry for people who do. But for me it's never been any more than 'truly' painful for the last few contractions.

I'm jealous of people who got pain relief from G&A and diamorphine.

All they did was make me stoned. Well, G&A made me sick and it was like taking a toke of a bong and then nothing happening.

Diamorphine - I just felt stoned and in pain, which was really bizarre.

stoner :o

"I am not advocating removing pain relief from other women!!! "

Don't worry Chibi - that's not what this thread is about!

I think second labours are often (not always) psychologically easier - less fear, more of a sense of 'I can do this'. Knowing how bad it can be can make labour more scary, or easier to to cope with. Strange paradox.

For me knowing that I could experience pain beyond anything I'd ever imagined (second baby - 11lbs shoulder dystocia) and yet be happy and smiling 20 minutes later gave me confidence to feel I could probably bear it third time around.

Forgot to say - I also think I have been lucky enough to have had some kind of natural 'hormone high' when in labour and afterwards. Usually I can be quite a stressed out person, but during labour I've always had a feeling of almost serene calm come over me, and have also felt very (unnaturally!) happy throughout. With all mine I've continued to feel like that right through the first few (apparently most difficult?) weeks with a new baby, and have never experienced the baby blues or anything like that, despite sleepless nights and all the rest of it.

"All they did was make me stoned"

I wouldn't sniff at that!

I loved G&A. Loved it. May have loved pethidine if it hadn't made me puke and forget where I was.....

But I do quite like being really out of it, and as a respectable 44 year old mum, don't get to experience the sensation as often as I might like.....

I had a very long labour (three days), with the first day being back labour, and apart from a shot of pethidine at around 2.5 days to let me sleep for a couple of hours, I had no pain relief. What helped:

Good care, although most of the really tough labouring was done over the last night, with my husband asleep in the room so I was trying not to wake him. But I knew I had care if I wanted to bother anyone.
Sheer bloodymindedness, as someone else has said. I was absofuckinglutely determined not to get an epidural, because I had done so much reading about birth interventions that it was firmly stuck in my head that the second I accepted any intervention, it would cascade and I'd end up with a CS. Slightly irrational, I realise, but still.
Also, I think a slow labour is often an easier labour in a lot of ways. Yes, your body gets tired out, but the slow build means lots of time to adjust to each level of pain, build up endorphins, etc. I found transition to be incredible fun, by then I was on such a natural high. Friends who've had a slow and then a fast labour say the latter is much harder to deal with, painwise.

see, I quite like being stoned. Being stoned in labour sounds like an utter nightmare to me though.

It wasn't a good stoned, though. G&A, it was like when you take a hit off a bong, and then: nothing.

It didn't last at all with me.

Diamorphine, yep, stoned, but still in pain, which sort of missed the point. I remember thinking, 'Man, what a waste of a good high!'

[is there a hemp leaf emoticon here :o]

MooMooFarm I'm so with you - had a filling replaced on Monday and was as traumatic as childbirth but with nothing nice at the end. Less painful but much more unpleasant and stressful, but I do have issues with dentists

I had several (failed) epidurals with DS2 - the psychological impact of pain relief not working I think was much worse than the actual pain if that makes sense - although it could just be that DS2's labour was much more painful than DS3's.

I didn't have one with DS3 - although as I was about to push I decided that I couldn't do it on gas and air and demanded one (admittedly rather half heartedly as I'd stuck to my guns to having no cannula, and no constant monitoring) - I was most put out that they said no - it was too late......I was convinced they were lying (and accused them of such). Of course the arrival of DS3 17 minutes later proved that they were totally right.

I got the go ahead yesterday (hahaha) from the DS's to have more children (in the future with a hypothetical new partner ) and I think I'd try and do it on gas and air again (maybe even a home birth ) - but if it turned out to be a horrendously long and painful one like DS2's then despite my phobia of needles I would ask for an epidural (presuming I wasn't already pushing)

Determination to avoid a catheter if at all possible. Awareness of the whole cascade of intervention thing. Short uncomplicated labours did help.

Completely agree with you expat - DC1 I had gas and air which just made me feel sick. Then had pethidine late on (DD was born 20 mins later) and just felt like I was tripping! Was talking utter rubbish and felt like I was hallucinating! This might have been partly sleep deprivation though as labour lasted over 36 hours.
DC2 I only had gas and air but this time it seemed to work a bit better and start to finish it took less than 5 hours.
Am very about those who didn't find labour that painful although to be honest I found the contractions worse than the actual birth.

I coped due to:

• TENS machine used from contractions starting to about half an hour before giving birth
• Using Natal Hypnotherapy CD in preparation and throughout labout (over and over)
• Attending ante-natal Pilates classes and keeping fit throughout pregnancy - the midwives said I coped well with their requests to change position and move around
• Having a doula to help make decisions - because she was there, I stayed at home longer, until 5 hours before giving birth
• Gas and Air for last 4 hours
• Relatively short/uncomplicated labour (12 hours approx start to end)

I felt like I went "inside myself" for most of it, tried not to pay much attention to what was going on around me.

The "pain" for me was more like bad period pain/cramping and very very heavy pressure, like I needed the biggest poo of my life.

After giving bith, I tried using G&A whilst I was stitched up but it wasn't enough (now THAT was painful!), so I ended up having an epidural and being taken to theatre for stitches.

Next time, I would try to cope without an epidural again, because I have no lasting traumatic memories of child birth. But having had an epidural, it's something I would consider if I felt I needed one.