So - those of you who DIDN'T have an epidural

[Cleofartra]

.... and are OK about not having had one, and don't feel cheated or traumatised, what do you think made it possible for you to cope without one?

Given the comments on the other thread about giving birth being similar to the pain of a catastrophic injury or having surgery without anaesthesia, women who haven't given birth might be surprised that ANYONE manages without an epidural and comes out the other side with their mental health intact.

So - what made it possible for you to do without an epidural and feel ok about it afterwards?

Short, uncomplicated labour?

High pain thresh-hold?

Good care?

Other pain relief worked well for you?

DC1 - had gas and air (hated it), used the birth ball, and had lots of coaching from DH and a lovely helpful midwife. It was very hard, but I didn't consider having an epi (had it in my mind that I didn't want one, so I wasn't really thinking of it as an option iyswim)

DS - had pethidine, was a bit neglected really, but left to get into my own position (on my knees) and the birth was just easier and shorter.

DD2 - was totally horrendus. Again, I didn;t even think of asking for an epidural, but was screaming, literally screaming for pethidine/morphine, midwifes stood about looking unconcerned, I was totally beside myself with pain and DH was also terrified. midwife eventually gave me G&A which made me feel even more frightened. She also didn;t do the episiotomy I'd said I wanted, and so I had bad tears, tore a blood vessel (as I had with DD1) and lost 2L of blood.

DC - 4 - currently 18 weeks pg, and I'm going private.

I've had both. With my first I was induced for being overdue, something I wish in hindsight I'd declined. 13 hour labour with a 2 hour second stage, I just wasn't prepared for the level of pain. I wasn't looked after and felt scared tbh. I had no continuity of care, was left alone wiht my birth partners most of the time, and all the monitors meant I had no choice but to lay on the bed, meaning an epidural was pretty much inevitable.
With my second birth, what made a difference was preparation. I felt totally out of control the first time round so I wanted to change that second time. I read lots of empowering stuff, particuarly Ina May Gaskin, and it stayed wiht me in labour. I wa sdetermined to stay upright and mobile. Both dc were posterior, the first had no room to move so came out looking at the ceiling. Second, I was upright and he turned before birth. It was a much shorter labour at 3.5 hours, and crucially I had the same midwife who just sat back a few feet away offering encouragement. The lights were dimmed, and though I was in hospital I felt safe and able to do it my way. I had no internals, no injections, just a few listens in to the tummy, and she always asked permission first. I did have gas and air but I don't think it did much other than making me concentrate properly on my breathing. I tore both times, but they were big babies and when I get the urge to push, I just have to, no ammount of telling me to stop is going to help.
I felt really shell shocked first time round, as if birth had just 'happened' to me. Second time, I was elated, and felt that I had actually 'done it'. I think the lack of one to one care in labour has a lot to answer for actually, the first time round I wa smade to feel a nuissance, one midwife even called me 'silly' SHe was on my shit list to be turned around at the door should she wonder in second time but thankfully she never did.

Didn't have epidural as scared of being paralysed (drama queen) for a couple of hours after - can anyone tell me if it's true that you can't walk afterwards for a while?

I think because:

a) first midwife didn't believe I was in established labour and kept telling me this. (trace wasn't picking up contractions properly) Stupidly I believed her
b) DD was tiny - 33 weeks.
c) I was terrified of the catheter.
d) was a pretty quick labour I think. 8 hours from 4cm to birth

But agree with tortoise - ds's birth was a little too fast and felt more painful - had I not been at home might have been tempted by an epidural! Plus had pph so ended up with the damn catheter anyway!

Yes, Mumby! Finally, someone who felt they were tripping out.

I'd had morphine and other analegesics like that in the past, for leg surgeries. And I sort of slipped in and out. The first time, it made me sick. My surgeon friends laughed and said, 'It probably won't the second time.' It didn't.

But when I had it in labour, I was just stoned and tripping and still in pain. I was thinking, 'This sucks. Where's my fucking epidural?' :o

Lotsa needle phobics here.

I never made a decision not to have an epidural I just wanted to avoid it if at all possible. I suffer from migraines and low blood pressure and have back problems all of which are in the 'should think about avoiding' list, plus the needle they use is bloody huge I'm also a bit of a control freak; the thought of losing sensation in my legs terrified me more than the idea of labour pain. I couldn't have coped with not being mobile for x amount of hours.

In the end the labour pain never got bad enough for me to disregard all the negatives. All my labours were OP (and one was induced) but they were relatively short and G&A is wonderful stuff. I'm not a martyr. If they'd been very long or hurt more I would have had one I'm sure.

actually I think it varies as to how your body reacts to drugs in labour. I tried gas and air with DS2 and it made me (physically) sick. It was awful, and so I barely touched it.

DS3 on the other hand...............I didn't want to let it go and was rather glad I had to have a couple of small stiches as they let me have it again

I had a one-sided epidural the first time, followed by a rotational forceps, although without an episiotomy. Far from being traumatised I quite enjoyed the experience but came away feeling that I had been a spare part at the birth. I hated the fact that no-one knew me (each person who came in had to scrabble though my notes to find out the first thing about me), the inability to move freely, the clock watching and the people constantly barging in and out of the delivery room about matters which were nothing to do with me.

I had a very sedentary life-style before I had my first although I wasn't overweight. The second time round I worked at getting myself fit by going swimming regularly and eating a healthy diet.

I arranged a home birth because I needed the continuity of care that I was likely to get and I wanted to make sure that anything which was done to me was done because it was medically necessary and not just because it was a hospital routine.

My ante-natal care was more focused on helping things to go right rather than ignoring me and then coming in with all guns blazing when things had gone wrong.

I spent what I thought was the early part of labour going for a walk and then having a nice relaxing soak in the bath. The next thing I knew, I needed to push and spent the time trying not to while my husband got the midwife to come back.

So I had no gas and air, or any pain relief - it all happened too quickly, and just sustained a slight graze. In all it was an absolutely fantastic experience.

I didn't think that a good birth was luck. For me, making sure I was in good health and being relaxed was the key, and being confident with my attendants, even though the midwife only just got there in time. I am mighty glad that I wasn't trying to rush to hospital in the middle of winter and ending up giving birth by the side of the road.

Sadly I found that most people didn't want to hear that a good birth was possible. I have only avoided falling out with friends by not talking about it.

I had a lumbar puncture when I was 18, it was aweful and I decided nothing would ever make me let someone put another needle in my spine again.

I've never had and epidural, had G&A and pethedin with DD1, G&A with DS and nothing with DD2. All were uncomplicated and not very long (5 hours, 8 hours and 5 hours) but even if it had been longer I couldn't have an epidural. If I'd needed a CS I would have to have a GA.

I wish I'd never had pethedin though as it made me sick with each contraction and after DD1 was born.

I think the actual pain can vary between labours because of e.g. the size of the baby's head or how they are positioned. I think fear is also a big factor and if no one listens to you or believes you like in some of the stories on the other thread, that must be really frightening. Also I know friends whose labours went on for days and they needed an epidural just to get a rest.

The major factor for me was that I was lucky enough to have a short labour with DS - less than 12 hours start to finish. I was in a midwife-led unit with the midwife either in the room or close by throughout. I think it also helped that I felt quite well prepared for labour and how to cope with the pain in the early stages and that kind of carried me through.

The gas and air was enough for me. Labour 6 hours from first contraction, asked for Pethidine near the end but wasnt really necessary, I didnt notice the difference tbh.

definitely down to uncomplicated labour and a high pain threshold.

with dd, it was 12 hours from waters breaking to birth, about 8 hours of which was active labour and 1 hour 20 mins of pushing. we went to hospital at about 5am, i was already 8cm when we got there, and dd was born at 9.17am.

with ds, i think because i'd already done it once without an epidural, it never really occurred to me to ask for one. in fact, i said i had a theory that pain relief slowed things down and i wanted to get it over quickly and go home! they offered me pethadine or to break the waters, i went for breaking the waters, and ds was out in 3 pushes.

i suspect my views may well be very different had i had to go through things like forceps, tearing, stitches etc.

I had an epidural with my first, and was incredibly keen to avoid one with my second. I found pushing with an epidural completely exhausting because I couldn't feel anything. The pushing part lasted over 2 hours (after ctx every 5 mins, day and night, for 3 days, eventually augemented by synto because I'd only reached 3cm) and I had no idea what to do. The whole thing felt completely unnatural to me -- artificial ctx and then medical paralysis from the waist down. Of course, when my son was born it was all forgotten and I'd never dream of saying it was some kind of traumatic experience, but the second time I was determined to avoid both synto and an epidural.

With my daughter, I was 40+13 and booked in for induction. 3 days of 5-min apart ctx again, getting me to 3cm (AGAIN! I suck at giving birth!). I arrived for my induction and was given the gel, despite being 3cm. They refused to break my waters because the baby's head wasn't engaged. Long story short, my own midwife came in on her day off to see me and broke my waters for me while she was there! I was 3-4cm when she did it, 10 hrs after my arrival at hospital.

As soon as I got off the bed, ctx came thick, fast and strong. Within half an hour there was no break between them, as noticed by the midwife. The pain was getting pretty bad by this point, but I didn't dare ask to be examined because I thought if they'd told me I was still 3-4cm I'd have given in and begged for the epidural. Eventually I felt such a strong urge to push I couldn't ignore it any more, even though I didn't know what it was meant to feel like because of previous epidural with the last birth.

The midwife sighed and rolled her eyes and told me to get on the bed and she'd examine me, but that there was no way I'd have dilated 6cm in less than an hour. She turned around to put her gloves on, and when she turned back she said "Oh, no need! I can see the baby's head."

She was born 5 mins later, an hour after my waters were broken, with no pain relief at all.

I would go through the second one again, any time. But never the first...

Had one in first induced labour on recommendation of a MW, it was horrible, the aneasthatist took several attempts, and i believe it contributed in a huge part to me not progressing as i had it at 2 -3 cm and was immobile the whole time.. had diamorphine too.. never even encouraged to try gas and air and was in bed the whole time

second time, wanted VBAC, lots of research, wanted to feel everything and maximise chnaces of vaginal birth. labour relatively quick when established, never occurredd to me to ask for one. i did think i was going ot die from the pain, and one i had accepted that, i felt much better pethidine and g&a and 3 excellent birth partners who were all totally focused on me getting that baby out vaginally were such a massive help. it's why i'm a doula now

Wow, essay! Sorry . What I meant to say was:

Fast labour, high pain threshold.

X posted with a few people there. I wish G&A had made me feel high, I feel like I missed out on something there! At the most it gave me a slight buzz, like I'd had a couple of drinks, which was still good but not high. I actually think it was concentrating on breathing it that helped more than anything else (I didn't notice when it had run out!)

I had pethadine with DS2 (the induction), but I had it too late; it didn't kick in until after DS2 was born. He slept for 12 hours, and I was just very very chilled

Both mine have been fast, straightforward labours, and I'm sure that's a big part of it.

But my DP is also the most amazing birth partner. We were still laughing between contractions right up until DS2's head crowned. And then he just flipped right into telling me how proud he was of me and how brilliantly I was doing. I honestly think his support was the thing that made it all possible on just G&A.

I don't have a high pain threshold, but gave birth to DD2 with no pain relief at all.

So I think ascribing it to high pain threshold is rubbish.

She just started to come out whilst the midwife was examining me to see how far dilated I was.

I begged and begged for an "epi-fucking-dural" during my first labour. But I'm not allowed them. First labour I had G&A and pethidine. Which didnt help just made me feel like I was on pills.

Second labour was ok. Had G&A again but no way would I have anything else I felt more in control and able to concentrate better.

IMO I work better if I can feel what's going on. If I had been allowed epidurals during my first time then I think I would of not bothered to push so hard because I couldnt feel it. But that's just how I am. (lazy )

expat you're spot on about the pain - I still felt every bit of DD's birth but without the ability to proudly refer to my 'drug free' labour. Felt a bit cheated!
DP handed me the phone to chat to my mum afterwards but I was unable to understand what she was saying let alone formulate a coherent response!

I thought pethidine wasn't a painkiller. It just gets you caned, so you focus less on the pain.

It's what the community MW told me anyway.

I am not sure high pain threshold has anything to do with it... Labour is just so unlike anything else that you've experienced.

I have had 2 births without any pain relief:
-DC1 in a hospital on bed where expectation was that every woman has an epidural. What got me through here was awkwardness and mental attitude in a yah boo to you kind of way and also (lentilweaveryalert) visualisation, relaxation and breathing techniques, oh and compliant easy baby/birth (7.5hrs from waters breaking with no contractions to birth).

-DC2 home birth in pool, the water was blissful and the alternatve of v medicalised-orientated hospital . also this time no visualisation but just concentrated on relaxing and accepting the pain discomfort as 1 step closer to being finished. And i knew i could do it from last time!

I'm glad this thread can help balance out the epidural thread for first timers (although in no way playing down their experiences, if a woman asks for an epidural they absolutely should get one... that any woman is refused one when they are so vunerable makes me more than I can say)