I am almost completely healed. I say almost, because I still have a couple of triggers that make me angry - people who think that a traumatic experience is down to the expectations of the mother or down to lack of preparation, or somesuch thing, people who think that OBs are God and never treat women like shit, and people who say that "as long as the baby is healthy", as though I don't count anymore.
Which I suppose is a fair list of triggers!
But I don't dwell on the delivery now, independent of those triggers, I don't cry about it, I don't have nightmares any more, and I can talk about the delivery in a rational way without bursting into tears.
My biggest problem was that I had physical damage resulting from it, which made it very difficult to move on - I was still dealing with the aftermath.
The biggest factor that helped me to get over it was a second vaginal delivery where I was treated with respect. It was still very painful and difficult, mostly because I had a long labour, but it was overall a positive experience. It also helped stretch out my scar tissue from the first delivery, so the physical effects of the first delivery were reduced too. The trouble is, of course, that it was the high risk option. I could have been treated badly, or ended up with a bad tear and even more damage. I was lucky.
How is your DH/DP about things? One major factor for me was that DH was terrified and ignorant first time around. He was convinced that if we didn't do everything that the MCPs suggested immediately that the baby would die (no crash situation at any time during the delivery). 
And wasn't able to support me effectively. Second time around, he was much more confident and went through every possible situation with me, so that he knew that he could support me well. In fact, the second time around was healing for him too, because he had redeemed himself in his eyes.
Anyway, very unMumsnetty hugs for you, as it really is shit. :(