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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Dads on ward after Birth

129 replies

mumswish · 30/09/2005 15:15

Hi ladies,

Does anyone know why fathers are only allowed on the ward during visiting hours once you've given birth. My mate just gave birth and her dp was only allowed there between 12-4 and 6.30-8.30pm apparently its the same if you pay for a private room.

It's really made me worry about ttcing my first child. I havent spent a night away from my dp in over a year apart from when I went into hospital overnight for a operation after my missed mc (cant remember ops name)

I've looked into paying for private med insurance while pg (BUPA) but no hospitals near me. Has anyone had ANY births where dad was allowed to stay as long as he wants while you're kept in?

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vickitiredmum · 03/10/2005 11:20

My booking mw fiddled my BMI just a tad so i could be allowed to go to mw led unit so i suppose its not such a big deal but they have to have their cut off point dont they.

Unfortunately i ended up with mild pre eclampsia so i had no choice but to go to normal labour ward anyway.

cod · 03/10/2005 11:20

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Original poster
mumswish · 03/10/2005 11:22

I'm not saying men on the ward all the time. I'm saying that you dont want your dp/dh to be kicked off the ward within an hour of you giving birth with your newborn screaming and you helpless cos they've given you an epidural!

By all means I dont want him around all the time. I CAN cope I just dont want to be on my own straight away. Its his child too he has the right to be with them at the beginning.

OP posts:
vickitiredmum · 03/10/2005 11:22

Thats all very well cod if your baby sleeps from birth and you are able to get up and about on your own.

If you cant and your baby doesnt sleep but staff are so "busy" they cant help you then naturally people do want their DP/DH there. Especially if they have been discouraged from having a home birth in the first place.

Stop fishmongering!

vickitiredmum · 03/10/2005 11:23

They should all be locked up shouldnt they cod

cod · 03/10/2005 11:23

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flamebat · 03/10/2005 11:24

My Dh wanted to be with his new daughter too - is that so odd? It is their new baby that they have been waiting ages to meet as well.

cod · 03/10/2005 11:24

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cod · 03/10/2005 11:24

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Original poster
mumswish · 03/10/2005 11:24

Cod. Stop looking for a quick argument! Everyones got their opinion and I'm quite willing to listen to yours but please respect others aswel.

OP posts:
vickitiredmum · 03/10/2005 11:25

And avoid getting SPD, or stitches, or episiotomies, or maybe we just shouldnt get pg at all if we cant cope with it.

cod · 03/10/2005 11:25

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cod · 03/10/2005 11:26

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vickitiredmum · 03/10/2005 11:27

Ah yes cod. People with convictions are bad eggs and shouldnt be allowed kids. Castrate them all. Prison or fines or community service is too good for them.

vickitiredmum · 03/10/2005 11:28

PMSL Cod - darent ask where you live. Maybe she was looking for tips on b/feeding?

lockets · 03/10/2005 11:29

This reply has been deleted

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beatie · 03/10/2005 11:29

When I had dd1 the rules were liberal and fathers could be there from breakfast time until late in the evening. This was great as I had to stay in 3 nights due to my bp rising after the birth. DH used to come in at 9am and he'd take our baby to the dayroom to cuddle. I'd pop in my ear plugs and get a few hours sleep.

This time I was at a different hospital. Only fathers were allowed to visit between 10am-12pm and then they had to go away and come back again during the regular visitng hours of 2pm - 8pm. I don't know why... nothing special seemed to occur on the ward between 12-2pm.

The signs about visiting hours thank people for being so considerate in allowing new mothers to rest during the am.

Ahem - well why don't the midwives and other staff also have to adhere to that?! My dd2 was born at almost 5am. DH left at 7am. I had the perfect chance to sleep following a night of labour but did not get the chance.

During the morning I was disturbed by the hearing-screening lady, the physio and the paediatritian and the deaf tea lady (bless her) who shouted at me "are you asleep!" when I had my eyes shut. "Well, I'm not now!"

On top of that midwives shouted to each other at the tops of their voices in the corridors. I stayed in one night and by the time I was discharged the next day I'd had no sleep for 2 nights. Postnatal wards make me cringe. There's so much that could be and needs to done better.

I'm probably not having a 3rd but if I do it will be a homebirth for me.

cod · 03/10/2005 11:30

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cod · 03/10/2005 11:30

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flamebat · 03/10/2005 11:32

Where do you live Cod??? I know it is somewhere vaguely near me because you go to Moors Valley and see norks on B'mth beach, but now with the lambings I'm really intrigued!!!

vickitiredmum · 03/10/2005 11:33

You live in Wales?

vickitiredmum · 03/10/2005 11:34

Ha ha! Didnt know you were a bird watcher cod!

Original poster
mumswish · 03/10/2005 11:35

Oi!! Welsh!! Dont be mean! LOL

OP posts:
cod · 03/10/2005 11:36

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cod · 03/10/2005 11:37

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