Have you ever been told by a medic 'you can't possibly be in labour' when you actually are?

[SpeedyGonzalez]

This follows on from another thread in which the OP was told she was 'too smiley' to be in labour , and then sent home. She then gave birth shortly afterwards, at home.

With my first birth my mw gave me a look of gentle doubt about how far gone I was, but to her credit (and she was a fantastic mw ), she examined me and discovered that I was 7cm.

With my second birth (hb), I was asked to stay on the phone through a contraction. Perhaps if I'd 'lied' and screamed blue murder I wouldn't have been told they weren't going to send out a mw. Despite my telling them that the pain levels were similar to when I was admitted to hospital with birth no 1, and that I was doing hypnosis, so therefore in control and unlikely to go in for bloodcurdling screams, they didn't believe me, and when the mw finally came I was in so much pain that I practically bit her hand off (thinking it was the G&A pipe ).

I've heard countless tales like this, where mws seem not to have experience of women who don't 'lose it' in labour. I can understand it more with home births where a woman's on the phone - if they send someone to the home unnecessarily it costs more. But surely if a woman is in your ward and you think she's not in labour (and especially if she's given birth before), doesn't it make sense to give her a pelvic exam before sending her away, just in case? And are there really so few women who don't scream to the rooftops in labour that mws mistake them for early labour(ers)?

I was told I wasn't in labour when I definately was (dd born shortly afterwards). I am a (fairly) quiet and stoical labourer, and tend to be so until the pushing stage. At which point I metamorphisise into a screaming banshee

This happened to me. I'd done hypnobirthing, and was in my birth pool. Phoned the midwives and when they were told it was my first they said they'd ring back in 1-2hours. 90 mins later they called back, and my waters had just gone and I knew the baby was really coming. I told them that I really wanted them to come soon.

20 mins later I was out of the pool and they turned up, they decided I looked very relaxed and was very quiet (I thought the world was coming to an end, but was dealing well with it). They proceeded to faff around with paperwork for 10 mins and then asked if they could check how dilated I was - I couldn't speak, so just nodded to make life easier, she got everything ready, knelt down, and announced that the head was halfway out :o

They explained afterwards that I had been too quiet, even assuming I'd had tons of pain relief - but as I'd only had two paracetamol they decided it was impossible that I was far along. And what's worse, I was desperate for more pain relief, but because I couldn't speak and couldn't ask for it they assumed that I didn't need it yet, so I never got any!

Sorry, I know you didn't want another home birth story, but just wanted to support your theory.

Mums 3rd labour, told she wasn't in labour 2 hours before DB arrived.

Yes yes yes. Had very quick labour following broken waters. Was told when I went in for broken waters that I had probably wet myself and patted on the head and sent home. Four hours later returned to labour ward as contractions constant - angry-looking midwife approached me and asked in accusatory tone, "what are YOU doing back here??" then left me in a corridor for what felt like eternity (but was probably about ten minutes really - but still, is a long time when in labour). Was then taken into triage where they said they would send me home if less than 4cm as they expected I was. Asked for gas and air but got nothing. FINALLY was examined and was 9cm dilated. Did then get the gas and air - bliss. They also confirmed at that point that yes, my waters HAD gone.

Worse happened to another mum I met recently (at same hospital) - they told her that because she could speak through her contractions that they "didn't want to see her" but she went in anyway and was fully dilated and baby born within 30 mins.

First babies for both of us.

BTW my total proper labour was only 4.5hrs, so I give them some slack for the fact that that is unusual for a first-timer. But I did tell them over the phone that my Mum's first (me) was 5 hours, so they were warned.

Anyway, the speed combined with quietness meant I almost had an unassisted birth.

Yes, I phoned the hospital and they asked me lots of questions and said "sorry dear, you're not in labour".

1 hour later ds2 appeared - luckily I'd ignored them and gone in anyway.

I was in slow labour for 5 days with dd2 and had been examined 3 hours earlier and was 3cm so was reluctanctly told to go in.
They half heartedly examined me to find I was 7cm.
AN hour later I said I needed to push and as told 'don't be silly, no you don't, you'll wear yourself out. DON'T push.

DD2 was born 15 minutes later (with a different MW after I had sworn at that one)

I went into hospital after monitoring my contractions all morning.

I was put on a monitor for half an hour, the contractions got stronger and I was gritting my teeth and really having to focus through them. MW said that nothing was happening (according to the monitor) and to go home for 9 or 10 hours.

Went home, walked through door, felt the urge to push, got back into car (trying v.v.v. hard not to push), went back to hospital. Gave birth 15 mins later.

I remember at my NHS antenatal classes the midwife at the labour talk said that when you call the labour ward to say you're coming in, "if your husband calls we'll ask to speak to you because we can tell by speaking to you if you're far along enough to come in".
(cue smug expression)

Clearly this is rubbish. Am actually quite angry at her arrogance now. Grrrrrrrrr!!!

Yes, similar to others who have used natal hypnotherapy. With DS2 I was told that I wouldn't be examined until I asked for pain relief. There seemed to be an assumption that everyone asks for pain relief and requesting it seems to be the best way to guess whether labour is happening. The whole labour right through to delivery went like this including the mw being wholly unprepared when the head came out. There was just lots of commotion as she called for another mw and tried to get gloved up in time for the delivery. In retrospect maybe I should have been shrieking and then I would have been taken a little more seriously.

Yes, I knew I was in active labour but the mw knew better. Desperate for pain relief but was sent away. Was back within the hour fully dilated and pushing, at my insistence dh put bin liners in the footwell of the car just in case.

Happened to me so often that the hospital told me to stay at home last time as they don't like delivering babies in car parks! Last labour was an hour or so.

Yes, with DD2. I started having quite strong contractions at home, so went to hospital after about an hour. They said that labour might start soon, and DD was born two hours later.

To be fair I deliberately spent most of that time walking round the far reaches of the hospital avoiding the midwives - this was in France where they have you lying flat on your back with feet in stirrups before you can say ouf! Then went back to labour ward when the pain was too strong to walk anymore, they told a student M/W to check if labour had started yet. She had a look and DDs head was crowning so she ran out of the room shouting for the other midwives, and I was on my own for a couple of minutes shouting "Au secours! Au secours!"

With DD2 was induced.

Started getting contractions around 10.30pm.
Was examined and told I was 1cm dilated.I was upset so she called DH and told him that I wanted him but not to hurry as was only 1cm gone.
Waters broke..she thought I had peed myself.
5 minutes later out popped DD2.
DH missed the birth by 10 minutes..we only live 20 minutes from the hospital.

A little different, but with DC2 I was examined ny a MW at 37 weeks and she told me that there was no way I was going into labour anytime soon and that she would see me in 3 weeks to "talk about an induction".

Two hours later my contractions were coming regularly

Following on I had regular contractions through the night and in the morning DH twice called the hospital and was told "if your wife isn't screaming to come in she is not ready"

The third time he called and was again told not to bring me in, I insisted and DS was born an hour after we arrived

I thought I was going to be told to go home as felt must be only 1-3 cm/. but went because contractions were fairly frequent and 1stlabour had been quite quick. Got the hospital at 12.30 and they were so busy they left me waiting in a corridor for 2 hours then when I was finally examined I was 7cm! Baby was born less than 2 hrs later.

Reading these stories makes me so

I was "assessed" on the phone and told I wasn't in labour yet (I'd already called a few hours before that to tell them my waters had gone). Thank God dh called back and told them we were coming in anyway because I arrived fully dilated and pushing. I really feel that the birth was needlessly traumatic, if they had just listened to me I could have had pain relief when I really needed it and talked to the mw about my preferences wrt positions, cord cutting etc. I didn't even have time to get changed and I was in such a panic, stuck in stirrups being shouted at to stop screaming .

A friend of mine was told she wasn't in labour and was sent home (same hospital) and gave birth on her bathroom floor an hour later!

Me too for dd2 - my third. I was having fairly short contractions and was told they weren't real and when I said they hurt I was informed that I'd forgotten how painful labour was. 5 mins later my waters popped and when I said that it'd happened I was told it was probably just a show??? Then the mw examined me - 5cm. The contractions were longer and more typical after my waters had gone and dd2 arrived 3 hours later. She kept saying it would have been ok if I'd gone home when she suggested because I'd have made it back in time. Yes but I had no gas and air at home. Silly cow.

DD1 - induced - told that I had 18 hours before labour. Refused to examine me. Suddenly had excruciating pain, panicking as I wasn't in labour. Lovely junior midwife got supervisor of midwives to overrule shift leader (who had ordered no VEs) and declared me fully dilated. DD1 born 45 mins later.

Was having irregular contractions for about 4hrs with dd (my labour with ds was only 6.5hrs) so when I said I needed g&a they believed me and the midwife got all excited saying great I'll get to see thus baby before my shift ends. The next thing I knew I was feeling a huge amount of pressure in my bottom like I did just before I had to start pushing with ds midwife checked and said I was only 2cm so really shouldn't have g&a and should go to the ward. I said there was noway I could cope without it.

It was decided I could try going in the birthing pool without g&a. The midwife said the water would probably stop my contractions and then I could go down to the ward until labour started properly.

I was only in the pool about 30 mins ( in pure agony with no pain relief) when my waters broke. The midwife wanted me out staight away (mecconium in my waters) I said I couldn't because I needed to push her and dh dragged me out laid me on the bed to check how far along i was and dd head was almost coming out!

Cue a mad dash with me starkers in a wheel chair from the birthing pool room to my original room. The midwife was yelling at me not to push as she hadn't got her gloves on yet a couple if pushes later and dd was here. Luckily the midwife had just managed to get her gloves on in time

I was told by student dr, when I arrived at hospital, at 6 weeks early, that I couldn't be in labour, to wait an someone would see me in due course, and walked away muttering about teenage mothers.

I gave birth three minutes later.

I was told again by a doctor that I couldn't be giving birth at the hospital I had been taken to by St Johns Ambulance ( I was at a concert in a different town at 10 weeks early) and sent by ambulance to the hospital I should have been at 20 minutes away

I gave birth in the ambulance.

Third time I didnt even get to see a Dr, Dd arrived in the ambulance in the hospital parking lot.

I give birth very quickly with no stitches, no tearing and with great ease.

I was induced with dd. The MW insisted I was only having twinges and refused to let me have anything stronger than gas & air. She also refused to examine me. She was even more patronising when I said I was ready to push. Dd was born 10 minutes later.

Oh yes! They were reading holiday brochures-I had been given a bed for nightbdue to bad weather- waiting to be Induced next day.

Dh went out and said she is in labour - they said cant be and read holiday brochures.

Dh went out and said she really is in labour - theybsaid they would come after shift change.

Dh went out and said he could see a head. They read holiday brochures. Dh picked up holiday brochures and threw them on floor.

They came in just before baby arrived.

Yes and I went from 0-10 in half an hour. The midwife told me I was not in labour, just anxious and pissed off to have a cuppa. A few mins later the head started to crown and all head broke loose.
She did apologise as she did my stitches...

Yes! They didnt want to send an ambulance when dh rang, keep asking to speak to me but i was zoning out trying to stay calm as i was pretty sure i was going through transition and was going to want to push and wasnt speaking at all as thats how i dealt with the pain.

I love my husband for this but he then got a bit bolshy and said "My wife isn't one for making a fuss, if she says she needs an ambulance then she really does need one"

Ambulance was then despatched within 30 mins ds was born.