Have you ever been told by a medic 'you can't possibly be in labour' when you actually are?

[SpeedyGonzalez]

This follows on from another thread in which the OP was told she was 'too smiley' to be in labour , and then sent home. She then gave birth shortly afterwards, at home.

With my first birth my mw gave me a look of gentle doubt about how far gone I was, but to her credit (and she was a fantastic mw ), she examined me and discovered that I was 7cm.

With my second birth (hb), I was asked to stay on the phone through a contraction. Perhaps if I'd 'lied' and screamed blue murder I wouldn't have been told they weren't going to send out a mw. Despite my telling them that the pain levels were similar to when I was admitted to hospital with birth no 1, and that I was doing hypnosis, so therefore in control and unlikely to go in for bloodcurdling screams, they didn't believe me, and when the mw finally came I was in so much pain that I practically bit her hand off (thinking it was the G&A pipe ).

I've heard countless tales like this, where mws seem not to have experience of women who don't 'lose it' in labour. I can understand it more with home births where a woman's on the phone - if they send someone to the home unnecessarily it costs more. But surely if a woman is in your ward and you think she's not in labour (and especially if she's given birth before), doesn't it make sense to give her a pelvic exam before sending her away, just in case? And are there really so few women who don't scream to the rooftops in labour that mws mistake them for early labour(ers)?

I had the opposite with DC1, although to be fair it was denial on my part as I was 36w6d. I thought I just had bad cramps (seriously bad, ha ha) from the curry the previous night. The midwife suspected otherwise, as I was lying on the bed clinging to it for dear life, and examined me (she had popped round to talk about a homebirth) and I was 7cm..

Still didn't believe it until the ambulance showed up and I figured they probably wouldn't send one for bad wind.

With DC2 I was in preterm labour at 34 weeks and knew I was but I was coping with the pain well. It took six hours, despite being monitored on labour ward with huge peaks on the printout thingy, for them to believe me and take out the stitch that was holding DD2 in. Unfortunately the stitch tore through the cervix in the meantime, joy.

Oooh, almost forgot. When I was on the antenatal ward at Kings, they brought a woman in who was clearly quite a way into labour at around 1am. They told her partner to go home and come back in the morning. The poor woman was singing religious songs most of the night and begging for pain relief but they (bank staff night midwife) kept telling her (she never examined her) to basically shut up and stop making such a big deal out of it and to just go to sleep. I'm not a midwife but to me it was clear she was in transition.

Finally at about 5am she went to the bathroom and didn't come out for a long time, still singing away. Took the midwife about half an hour to notice, finally she banged on the door, got the woman out, examined her and sure enough baby was practically falling out and she was rushed to labour ward.

I'm guessing her partner never made it back in time either.

When I was on the ward after a back pain scare, there was a woman in there for an induction who'd had a pessary. She was a tiny Thai lady who didn't speak great English. Several times during the night she pressed the call button for the MW and said something like "hurt very much". They got her paracetamol & codeine but she was making no fuss at all and mostly just lay there silently. When they examined her in the morning, she was 9cm!

Ours were fab. Was on the phone going 'my waters have just gone, I'd really like an epidural again...'. They told me later they knew I was WAY too late for an epidural from my breathing (gave birth < two hours later with no time for any pain relief) and thought it was amusing at the time (but didn't like to burst my bubble).

I love Homerton!

Only had one DC - but was told on the phone when I finally rang up that I wouldn't be able to speak if I was in labour so clearly I couldn't be. I said that whilst I understood that I'd never done it before I was pretty sure I was. They said that I'd sound more distressed and wouldn't be able to speak through contractions etc, so finally I gave up after a lengthy argument. I'd waited all day anyway as I was aware first babies normally take some time and didn't want to go in too early or make a fuss. So I phoned up an hour later and actually pretended to be distressed and in agony (I was in pain but I'm not the shouty sort, more I'll try and put up with it as best I can, I'msureit'snothingreally type of a person) so they finally agreed I could go to be look at but it took some convincing. I even had a debate on the phone with them about what "unbearable" meant - they kept asking if it was unbearable and I kept saying, well, nothing's really unbearable is it - I mean if you chopped my leg off I'd have to cope and bear it, even it was exceptionally painful. Anyway after I arrived, I was examined and just coming up to fully dilated. It's a good job my partner was with me as I wouldn't have gone in otherwise, as they'd made me feel so silly.

And Homerton have always said, 'oh well, just come in anyway, love and we'll have a look!'. they're always So nice and reassuring, (even when I was only 2/3 cm at first). That's why I am travelling there again. Am at how horrible some of your midwives have been...

Actually although I suspect most of us smile at the stories now some of the are absolutely dreadful. I can't think of another "industry" where people could get away with such utter contempt for their clients.

I was told to get back into bed (and stop being a silly girl was the subtext) by some cow of a midwife in the middle of the night during my first very long (large OP baby) labour. I was walking the corridors as it seemed to help with the pain. Luckily I was bolshy and just ignored her. During day 2 (still on the antenatal ward by this stage) was told by midwife I couldn't possibly be in labour as was doing the Times crossword (between fucking contractions, you moronic bint!). Have had three babies since then and know for a fact that I was in labour, for 38 bloody hours, a lot of them without pain relief. I know what not-labour is as well.

DS1 - I said I wanted to push. MW: 'I doubt it, but do you want me to examine you just in case?'. She examined, his head was already out of my cervix.

DS2 was fine, MW came out to me, told me I was 10cm he was born v.quickly.

DD: MW: kept asking if this was my first or 2nd baby. Me: 'it's my 3rd! my 2nd was a v.quick labour' MW: 'you do realise I'll have to get someone out of bed if we send someone out to you now' Me: 'I know, my 2nd labour was v. quick'. I'm sure becuase I was able to talk she thought I wasn't really in labour and just a panicky 1st timer.

In the end the MW got to us 7 minutes before DD was born. I really thought I was going to end up with DH delivering the baby.

I've heard the opposite too, a story a MW told me.

MW "You are in labour, the baby's coming soon"
Woman: "No I'm not"
MW "Yes you are, really"
Woman "No I just need a big poo, I know, I've had 3 babies, and I'm a doctor - it's just a poo"

So she went to the toilet for a poo - and the baby came out!

Marine- She was in transition and in denial! Funny old time, transition.

I have, friends have. It's undignified but INSIST on an internal exam. If I'd done that, I wouldn't have spent four hours in agony because some lazy cow of a midwife couldn't be bothered to examine ne properly and decided I wasn't in labour. I was terrified, as I was on the edge of what I could handle and was being told that this was just the beginning and was offered paracetemol as pain relief! Only when the shift changed did someone actually check, only to discover it was time to push as I was fully dilated! INSIST that they chheck.

yes, with my first. was made to feel like i making a fuss. midwife sent dh home to get some sleep as 'she will be hours yet'.

10mins later she had to call dh back in.

she refused to examine me, refused to listen to me, refused to belive me when she was stitching me up afterwards due to tearing as the epidural hadnt worked and i culd feel every stitch.

These stories make me so angry. Same thing happened to me. Waters broke and I went in to be assessed. They didn't check me or anything but just sent me home as would be ages yet.

Contractions started quite soon afterwards and quickly became strong and regular. I phoned twice to try and get them to "allow" me to come in as I was struggling with the pain. Was told no just take two paracemtamol and have a bath. I don't really remember much from then on but I told my husband to phone an ambulance but he wouldn't (still havent quite forgiven him for that!) so I managed to get myself in the car. Still not sure how I made it to the hospital but I think I just completely shut myself down.

Even when I got to the hospital one of the midwives said "its probably just the cervix beginning to dilate". Was finally checked, turns out I was fully dilated and was told to push. By this stage I had no urge to push but just kept on going - delivered after an hour of pushing with a lovely 3(c) tear and a retained placenta. No pain relief other than that bloody paracetamol. I obviously don't know if the problems were a result of the horrible birth but I can't help feeling if I had had the waterbirth I wanted it might have all been different.

Next time im going in at first twinge and not budging!

I wish they would listen to us a bit more and there wasn't so much focus on staying at home. Granted I wouldn't want a 40 hour labour at hospital but equally I didn't want to have him on the bathroom floor.

Yep.

ds1 - first baby.

Started having regular pains every 5 mins. Got my tens on. Rang hospital. Went in. DIDNT EXAMINE ME but told me I was in early labour. Sent home.

Went to loo before bed and was bleeding. Rang hospital. Told to go back in (dh not pleased as he has just got back into bed!) Was examined by registrar and found to be 6cms dilated.

They were all suddenly very nice to me!!!

oh yes, I was told to take paracetamol too!!! Not very effective for labout pain I found

but how do you insist drseuss? like a lot of women on here i couldn't really organise a sentence during advanced labour, didn't have enough brain free!

wish any trainee midwives on here would post a link to this thread on their student discussion boards

with ds i said that i felt uncomfrtable she was like its ok love thats just normal just the start , 5 mins late ri prssed the buzzer saying i needa poo midwife looked at me then said ill just have a look and 2 minute slater he was born

To be fair up to 5 minutes before thatI had been sound asleep

My midwife insisted I had a UTI and would not treat me as though I was in labour.
She shouted at me for making a noise and bunged me in a small room off the corridor it was called a soft room and they used it for storing things.

3 hours later my Mum delivered my little girl and the midwife walked in and said "shit".

She kept saying to me she was sorry and I was
woke up in the middle of the night by another midwife telling me to complain.
I did but the midwife denied everything including saying she was aware I was in labour and I had delivered quickly and she left the room only once to grab some equipment.

I still wish a horrible wart infection on her daily.

Yes with my 2nd - I was contracting every 2 mins but only lasted for 1 min, she said the contractions seemed strong weren't long enough for me to be in labour. I was parked in antenatal with no pain relief (found it v difficult to do breathing with contraction so close together. I think they must've been thinking it was my first and doing that patronising thing tbh, and understandably were reluctant to examine me as waters already gone.

Eventually I said I insist you examine me now or write your name the time and your reasons for refusing to examine me in your notes. Lo and behold they examined me and I had gone from 1 to 6 cm in 45 minutes. Ouch.

Oh yes indeed. With DD1, my waters started to trickle and I was having contractions. Went in, was told I was 3cm dilated and sent home. Contractions got stronger and more frequent. Went back, 4cm. Sent home again. Huuuuge contractions. Went back. Mw took one look at me and said "you were here two hours ago, what makes you think you're actually in labour now". She did, however, decide to examine me and found I was 9cm. At this point I was completely demoralised, exhausted, my contractions stopped being effective and it was another five hours before DD1 came into the world.

With DD2 I called earlier, given how quickly I dilated last time. Told to wait and see. DH called half an hour later, by which time they were every two minutes and lasting 50 secs. Told to wait and see again. DH called 15 mins after that as contractions were now pretty much all the time. All he said was "It's Manchesterdaddy.." and they just said "Come in!!!" Examined on arrival; I told the mw if she told me I wasn't in established labour I would kill her . She conceded I seemed "uncomfortable". Was 8-9cm; DD2 born 40 minutes later. (actually the mw was great; she just had a very dry sense of humour).

The day that DS was born I woke in the morning having tightening that felt like braxton hicks I wasn't in pain and the tightenings weren't regular but I knew I was in labour. Being my first time I called the labour ward and I was told to wait until my contractions became regular or my waters broke before going in and in the meantime to take paracetamol and have a bath.

Fast forward to 11.30 that night after several baths I woke up and felt like I needed to go for a poo (sorry TMI) as I walked to the loo I got a stabbing pain and started to bleed at this point still no regular contractions but on seeing the blood made my way to the hospital. I arrived there at 11.55pm and was greeted by the cleaning lady and pointed in the direction of the labour suite, When I got there an angry looking midwife told me that I had done everything the wrong way round and should have phoned them first to let them know I was on the way and that I obviously wasn't in labour as I wasn't making enough fuss.

I was told that I would be put onto a monitor for 20mins by this time DH had arrived and we were left alone on the monitor for 45mins with no one checking me internally.

DH was now getting angry because i'm in obvious pain and DS's heart rate keeps dropping so goes to remind the MW that i'm still on the moniter she grudgingly came in and said "Right lets see whats happening with this child of yours" still not believing that i'm in labour but suddenly after checking the monitor she calls another member of staff in and declares that I am indeed in labour and that DS is in distress at which point they examined me to find me 5cm dilated and break my waters.

In a matter of minutes they are telling me that I am going to have an EMC and I am being wheeled to theatre with contractions on top of each other.

We reached theatre and I was stripped completely and made to climb from the bed I was on onto the operating table. where I promptly gave birth naturally to DS at 1.08am.

They had performed a (IMO) completely unnecessary episiotomy sp* which they proceeded to stitch up before the anaesthetic kicked in and everytime a stitch was put in I moved and was told that I must keep still. They made such a mess that I was told afterward that I could have reconstructive surgery. almost 5 years on I still get upset about it.

When I got pregnant with DD I told my midwife that I had a quick labour with DS and I was worried that DD would be born quickly she laughed and told me that I would probably have a terrible labour that lasted for hours and didn't listen to me at all.

Labour with DD started at 6.15am and she was born on our kitchen floor delivered by DH at 6.59am and although a scary experience it was much nicer than my sons labour.

Why are we not listened to? Surely we know our own bodies!! It makes me so

Sorry my post is so long.

How do you insist? If you are beyond coherent speech, then that's what the DH/birth partner is for. My husband is briefed in advance this time. Last time we were very polite, made as little fuss as possible. This time we will be more bolshy!

I'm due in three weeks, so I'll remember that even if I can still speak (which is unlikely I know) I must pretend to be in agony when I ring the hospital!

when I called the labour ward re dd2, i was told not to come in until contractions were 4 mins apart. I held off for as long as I could, but went in when they were still 7 mins apart, but very strong. I was 5cm and "allowed" to stay.

By the time dd2 was born the contractions were still not 4mins apart!