Have you ever been told by a medic 'you can't possibly be in labour' when you actually are?

[SpeedyGonzalez]

This follows on from another thread in which the OP was told she was 'too smiley' to be in labour , and then sent home. She then gave birth shortly afterwards, at home.

With my first birth my mw gave me a look of gentle doubt about how far gone I was, but to her credit (and she was a fantastic mw ), she examined me and discovered that I was 7cm.

With my second birth (hb), I was asked to stay on the phone through a contraction. Perhaps if I'd 'lied' and screamed blue murder I wouldn't have been told they weren't going to send out a mw. Despite my telling them that the pain levels were similar to when I was admitted to hospital with birth no 1, and that I was doing hypnosis, so therefore in control and unlikely to go in for bloodcurdling screams, they didn't believe me, and when the mw finally came I was in so much pain that I practically bit her hand off (thinking it was the G&A pipe ).

I've heard countless tales like this, where mws seem not to have experience of women who don't 'lose it' in labour. I can understand it more with home births where a woman's on the phone - if they send someone to the home unnecessarily it costs more. But surely if a woman is in your ward and you think she's not in labour (and especially if she's given birth before), doesn't it make sense to give her a pelvic exam before sending her away, just in case? And are there really so few women who don't scream to the rooftops in labour that mws mistake them for early labour(ers)?

Yes this happenned to me. Went to hospital after having very regular and painful contractions. Bearing in mind this was my fourth labour I pretty much knew the signs!

Was made to lie for contractions to be monitored. Explained to the hosp staff that in my three previous labours I had to walk around as the minute I lay down my contractions would stop. This of course is what happened.

Was told that I was not in labour and had probably been braxton hicks. Argued for ages and insisted that I knew the difference but was sent home anyway.

Once I was up and walking back to the car the contractions started again very strongly as I had said they would. Went home for about half an hour before we realised we had to go back in. Turned out I was fully dilated. The chord was wrapped twice around dd4s neck and her heart stopped. Was rushed off and she was delivered by emergency section.

Had I been a first time mum and not had the courage to trust my own instincts I dread to think what might have happenned.

*happened!! Can't preview sorry.

Yep, waters broke with the twins at 3.30am and rang the hospital who actually suggested I go in to be monitored for a bit to see what was happening as was only 34 weeks. Not in pain at this point, and told them that.

Arrived at hospital hour later (having to stop for diesel on the way - thanks dh!) having extremely painful contractions.
They refused to examine me because over an hour earlier I was not in pain, so I couldnt be in labour.

Had a very heated row with 2 MWs who wanted me to go on the monitor which also included my dh telling me to get on the bed and let them get on with it (it wasn't his fault, he was bamboozled by medical terms). I refused cos I was in so much pain the only way I could deal with it was to be stood up.

We struck a deal eventually where I said I will only lie down if you examine me before you hook me up. Shock horror, pants off, ooooo 8 cms.

It was the only point in my pregnancy and subsequent emcs which pissed me off. Apart from that my care was absolutely fanastic. Prior to finding out I had a wonky cervix so even though I was fully dilated and pushing, twin1 simply could't come through, I was trying some wonderful new birthing positions and they supported me all the way.

Yep - at Crowborough Birthing Unit. Went in at midnight to be told I was not in labour and it would be at least 24 - 48 hours. Well I definitely was because I gave birth 6hrs hours later in another hospital when I had spent my whole pregnancy wanting to have her at Crowborough.

It still irritates me 10 months later

Yep. I was told to stay at home until I "couldn't cope". I told DH to tell them in no uncertain terms that this was my second delivery and I would cope until the baby's head was crowning! Luckily we managed to persuade them to let me go in, and they still didn't believe that I was in labour, I had to insist on being examined. What do you know? I was in well-established active labour.

I met another woman who had the same happen to her at the same hospital, in the same month. Unfortunately for her she didn't have such long labours as me, and gave birth on the kitchen floor with just her DH (who was on the phone to the ambulance service).

I started a thread about noises in labour, ages ago, because I was so surprised that the MWs didn't believe me - I couldn't believe that I was the only one. Lots of women on that thread too who went into themselves to cope. So why don't MWs recognise that? I reckon it's because they're too busy - easier to tell yourself that a woman is fine and just deal with the squeaky wheels (not blaming the MWs necessarily, even though there are some dreadful examples on here, but the workload). I didn't have a problem with my first labour, because the unit was quiet and they had plenty of time to examine me and get me checked in properly. I had a MW with me for the whole labour too.

i gave birth to ds2 in my knickers!
i had him from first contraction to last in less that 2hrs
i turned up trying to hold him in they made me wait 10 mins for a room all the while telling me to pull myself together i wasnt ready
he was born in the corridor with the gush of waters
i moved counties to avoid birthing my third at that hospital (watford general by the way )

Starlight, like you I joke during labour (did you use Maggie Howells' cd?). I walked into my hospital room after 5 hours of pushing, looked out of the window at the seaside and said: "Ooh, you've given me a room with a view!" Minutes later I got the contraction to end all contractions.

~~Yes, waters broke and contractions every two mins from having nothing but mild backache, in about five mins.

Rang delivery suite as was told I couldnt possibly be in labour as I was only 34 weeks and first baby. Went to delivery suite anyway, after ignoring me for two hours and repeatedly telling me they were busy with women actually in labour, they checked me, 7 centimetres gone, finally let me have gas and air.

Whole caboodle from waters breaking to giving birth - five hours!! Second baby due Christmas Eve, am hoping they believe me this time!!!

Going back to the noises in labour and making a fuss during contractions, last time I was pretty quiet and just got on with it, this time I'm going to scream the place down - see how they like them apples!!! ha ha

happens all the time to hypnoBirthers

Shuffle (great name!), good luck with no 2 and remember that it could be a faster labour this time!

I had my second daughter 6 months ago.

I started having contractions when I was 39 weeks and 5 days pregnant. They were coming regular but only lasting 30 secs.

Rang the hospital and the midwife said to wait till they were lasting longer but I refused as the pain was excrutiating.

Got to the hospital 40 mins later. Was left waiting 20 mins before they decided to strap me to a monitor and check if my waters had broken.

They could tell by monitor the contractions were strong, but waters were intact.

Checked to see if I had dilated and I was 5cm.

Baby was in distress and born 1 hour and 50 mins after getting to the hospital not breathing properly. She had to have oxygen, suction etc and luckily was fine.

If we had waited like they said then she could have been born at home or on way to hospital then we could have lost her

Oh, Jester! I am so glad for you that things turned out the way they did. A woman's instinct is a marvellous thing.

This thread is making me so angry. With DS I had a rude MW who, I was writhing around on the floor, mooing in agony whimpering "it really hurts...can I have some pain relief?", replied "of course it does. You're in labour. And you're only 2cm - you'll be here until tomorrow afternoon, far too early for pain relief" (it was 11pm - he was born at 11.35pm.
Now pg again, and terrified I'll be sent home. I obviously won't go, after a 2h50 labour with my first, but scared about bolshy MWs. Esp as I did go from 2cm to birth in not v long at all....
Some of these stories are really horrific.

Yup! With my first labour (which was 4 hrs in total, from first contraction to her being born) I was 3cm when I went in, and allowed to use the pool for pain relief. they stuck a trainee MW in there with me, who ignored me completely and did her paperwork, although I was allowed G&A.

Like others, I'm not a screamer, but suddenly I knew I needed to get out that pool. MW wasn't very happy about this as "well, I think you're being silly- you've got ages to go". Got out anyway, and had sudden desire to escape (actually started scrabbling at the air vents ) then realised I was behaving like a cat/ dog about to give birth (am a vet!)

I got all distressed and told the MW I couldn't do it any more. She shrugged dispassionately, told me again I had ages, complete with eye-roll and said "well, you can have some pethidine, if you really want. I remembered that a friend of mine had regretted having the pethidine, as her baby was delivered before it had time to take effect, and that often when you feel like you can't cope any more you could be near the end! So I demanded to know how long I had to go before accepting pethidine. She told me "ages!" I finally yelled at her "For God's sake, I need a number between 1 and 10- check!!!"

So she huffed a bit, but finally checked, discovered I was at 10, panicked, threw me (naked!) in a wheelchair, threw a blanket over me and insisted that I not push as she hurtled to a delivery room with me. By which point trying not to push was like that feeling of trying not to vomit, only from the other end! DD was born within 10 minutes, and I am very glad that I insisted on that number between 1 and 10!

But like others, felt very cross that she was so sure without checking that I had "ages" to go. It felt very belittling and patronising But I was very confident in what my body was telling me

.

Yep, was told that I was in pre-labour, lie down and get some sleep (had been given a pessary to induce me much earlier). I was finally believed when the membranes were poking out - was in the delivery suite for 3 pushes.

To be honest I quite liked that I was largely left alone, DH was around, but I did most of my pushing over the toilet, alone, because I thought I was doing a huge poo! I was having a debate with myself... now is this bearing down? I'd perhaps use bearing down to describe this but never having done it before I don't know if I'm bearing down or not...

Had DS a month ago, induced because waters had broke.

2pm: pessary inserted
5pm: period-pain-like contractions start
8pm: told pessary hasn't worked and I need a drop. Mention that I have cramps every 3 minutes but they're more achey than painful.
9pm: on drip, MW tells me to let go of natural birth ideas as with an induction I'll definitely need an epidural or morphine.
11.30pm Ask for a timeframe to help me deal with it, MW says she expects I'm @2cm and that she'll examine me at 3am by which time she'd expect me to be in established labour at 4cm. Say in that case I can't do this, if this is what 2m feels like, and ask whether it's too early for morphine. Sceptical look.
midnight: my standing and rocking is knocking monitor off so MW says she needs to put a clip on baby's head and I have to get on the bed. Discovers I'm at 10cm. Too late for morphine, sob!
1.05am: DS born. Can't hold him for 4 hours as shaking and blacking out in shock from the pain.

to be fair tho, she was a lovely supportive MW who was just relying on her experience of what normally happens, i dont think she was being dismissive - but it did bloody hurt!

when i had my 1st daughter i went into labour at midnight. I was bricking it and went to hospital 3 times up until 6am. I was sent home again and told to take 2 paracetamol and this is the part of labour no one tells you about! I was eventually admitted at 8.40 am and had her at 11am. She was back to back and the labour takes longer . No one had examined me and due to the midwifes changing shifts at 8am i got a different one who knew straight away what the problem was. On that night on the labour ward the midwife who sent me home sat on my bed at 11pm and said i had done really well, must have been because she thought i was going to complain. My 2nd daughter was fine , not back to back and i got induced and had her within 4 hrs. I told the midwifes 3 times after the last scan that my 3rd daughter was back to back due to the position of her limbs. I went into labour at 3pm got sent home twice, got admitted at 9.20pm and had her at 11.50 again back to back and no pain releif. Someone i know was sent home 3 times as son was back to back and a she had to ring a neighbour who delivered him in the bath!

i was in hospital, being induced, so no harm no foul, but i went from being 2cm to 10cm in the space of an hour or so, and despite telling the lovely midwife that i could feel the head etc she just, well, didn't believe me as i wasn't going bananas. when she did check and found me 10cm she was astonished, so much so that she had to go and shout to her colleagues that she would be really busy for the next wee while. she said later that i had said everything right and given her every sign, but that she had just assumed that as i wasn't anywhere near losing it that i wasn't there yet.

truth is, i'm not a losing-it type, not for important stuff anyway. i go right in, instead.

I have been told this in 3 out of 4 of my labours. In the first i was rushed through the corridors away from the ward (i was in with high bp) with the midwife shouting " dont push in the lift!", second was in a bed again in hosp with high bp. Third was dragged naked ( apart from pink fluffy slippers) across the labour ward to a side room to give birth at the last minute!.
My last baby the midwife agreed i was in labour but only 5cms - about 4 mins later i was holding my baby so not sure what that was about.

Many years ago, (when MWs did not use your name, but called you 'Mother') I was having my 2nd child. After 12 hours of contractions at 2 weeks past my due date I arrived at the hospital, having gone through transition in the car. (I insisted that we needed to go home as I was certain I didn't want another baby, it was all a big mistake.

MW was very dismissive and so sympathetic to then DH as he was a policeman and had been on a 12 hour shift. She sorted him a comfy chair and a cuppa while telling 'Mother' she was making too much fuss and should have stayed at home

DS was born 30 minutes later, (which was handy as then DH was going on rugby tour 2 days later and needed me to be home to look after DD!!)

How times change, DD has an amazingly supportive partner, who has been a superstar during her labour, birth and is a fab Dad, while DS (and his partner, obv) is nervously awaiting the birth of their first child, and is fully involved in the process.

The MWs we've meet at the births have so much more respectful, though I do know we've been lucky from the stories on here.

The message I've got from this thread is 'Listen to Mother, she knows best!!'

yes was told this 2nd time - good job i decided to stay in hosp as dd was born with a life threatening condition and the cord around her neck

also when ds was born 1st child) we were left in room while mw disappeared for ages - i had a show (while already having 10 mins between contractions) sent oh to run and find a nurse, she came back, had a look 'oh you are fully dilated'.ds followed v soon after.

i didn't have 2nd stage of labour apparently so was told to get to hosp quick with the next one.

you have to wonder about midwives/nurses sometimes - i am also v v stoical and didn't make a fuss prob to my detriment.

me! I woke up at 5am with pains by 9am i told dh we should go to the hospital got there at 10am, was told i was 2cm and to go home. I refused and put on ward, everytime a midwife came past i begged for pain relief, they said i want dialated enough and gave me 2 paracetamol.I was scaring the other woman as every contraction i was saying "it hurts ow ow ow" so midwife put me in the bath out of the way at 12.30. On the way to the bath i lent on the midwife and dh during a contraction and the midwife told me to 'hold my own weight'

I was in so much pain and 30 mins later i kept needing to push, thought i was being a wimp as i was only 2cm, 15 mins later midwife came to check i said contractions we constant. She reluctanly agreed to examine me so i got out (could hardly move) waters broke as i stood up,got rushed into another room and told to climb on bed but it was very hard with a babys head half out, she took one look and shouted a midwife, ds was born 10 mins later.

I said to the midwife after i told you i were in labour, she seemed embaressed and told me there 'not allowed' to examine you too often.

I must admit tho i didnt need any stitches and the recovery was loads better than my first ds.