Have you ever been told by a medic 'you can't possibly be in labour' when you actually are?

[SpeedyGonzalez]

This follows on from another thread in which the OP was told she was 'too smiley' to be in labour , and then sent home. She then gave birth shortly afterwards, at home.

With my first birth my mw gave me a look of gentle doubt about how far gone I was, but to her credit (and she was a fantastic mw ), she examined me and discovered that I was 7cm.

With my second birth (hb), I was asked to stay on the phone through a contraction. Perhaps if I'd 'lied' and screamed blue murder I wouldn't have been told they weren't going to send out a mw. Despite my telling them that the pain levels were similar to when I was admitted to hospital with birth no 1, and that I was doing hypnosis, so therefore in control and unlikely to go in for bloodcurdling screams, they didn't believe me, and when the mw finally came I was in so much pain that I practically bit her hand off (thinking it was the G&A pipe ).

I've heard countless tales like this, where mws seem not to have experience of women who don't 'lose it' in labour. I can understand it more with home births where a woman's on the phone - if they send someone to the home unnecessarily it costs more. But surely if a woman is in your ward and you think she's not in labour (and especially if she's given birth before), doesn't it make sense to give her a pelvic exam before sending her away, just in case? And are there really so few women who don't scream to the rooftops in labour that mws mistake them for early labour(ers)?

I'm really shocked by how many of us this has happened to. I'm seriously wondering if mws are taught during their training that us silly little women can't possibly know our own bodies!

Has anyone on here made a complaint about not being believed? I did a few months ago and they still haven't replied

Good luck with your complaint Marjee I really hope you get closure.

I really wish I'd complained at the time but was to shocked and just wanted to get home and cuddle my baby. My experience is something that I still think about and awful lot almost 5 years on. I felt completely violated.

ds1 I went in, wasn't checked, told I couldn't be in real labour as I wasn't in enough pain. (I was but was quiet, its how I deal with it).
Sh put me in a room, said as it was quiet I could stay but dh had to go home and pick me up in the morning (it was about 2:30 am.
I said, 'No, I really think I am in labour it hurts quite a lot and is regular and often'
'don't be silly, have a couple of paracetamol and go to sleep.'
about an hour later I asked dh to tell her it was getting really bad. She still huffed and puffed, didn't believe me BUT gave me pethidine.
I then slept for for a while (transition?). Then woke up shouting 'I want to push'
It took dh about 10-15 mins to finally get someone to come in.
SHe said 'ok, I'll check you to put your mind at rest then dh will have to go home'.
My waters burst all over her and she tried to get her gloves on and call for assistance as ds's head appeared.

Ds2 I got to hosp in transition, 2 mins later said I want to push. Again told I didn't. Again had to wait for MW and asked to wait whilst gloves and apron were put on. They stood tying there aprons as ds was born.

DS3 Mw refused to come to my house, refused to hurry despite my story, and stepped into my house as ds was born.
DD was ok, my MW's were fab. (actually believed me etc )

With my second birth, I was in hospital for 4 days with on/off contractions, they only did not send me home because I live an hour from the hospital! I was examined on day 1 and was 1 cm only. On day 4 at about 9pm I was having painful contractions every 5 mins and wanted pain relief, m/w examined me, I was only 1 cm still, and told "you are no more in labour than you were 4 days ago, you could go home tomorrow, but definitely no pain relief for you now, back to the antenatal ward".

11pm - I needed pain relief definitely, so went back to nurses, "you were only examined 2 hours ago, there is no way you are in labour", but I will put you on the CTG for 20 mins to look at the contractions for you"

30mins later, I was getting really worried, I was in a side room with the machine strapped to me, and as I had laid there, the contractions had gone from 4 mins, to 3 mins to 2 mins apart and were getting to the point where the tens machine was not doing a thing to help.

M/W walks back in casually looks at the trace, "you are contracting, but you are not in labour". I complained that I really really did need pain relief and NOW, so she causally said, "so do you want me to examine you then?" I agreed and she checked, I was 3cm so was permitted to go to the labour ward. Walking the short distance was not fun, phoned dh to get to hospital.

When I got to the labour ward crying in pain, and I apologised to the m/w saying I needed pain relief right now (same m/w who had examined me 2 hours previously) the m/w apologised and said, "sorry it is routine to examine you on arrival at the labour ward, I know you have only just had it, but I have to do it again". - I was 5cm !!

M/w requested epidural for me, but by the time the anaethesist arrived 20 mins later, I knew things were progressing fast, so asked to be examined again - I was 8cm.

I spent the next 40 mins (making noise) while trying not to give birth before my dh arrived, he arrived just as the head was crowning. (from 3cm to delivery in an hour, from "not in labour" 1cm to delivery in 2.5 hours)

This had me worried for my 3rd labour. But this was slightly different, I spent the first half hour in denial, and not realising I was in labour, on MN chatting, using a contraction timer as the "trapped nerve pain" seemed to be coming and going, then saw the contractions were 5 mins apart lasting a min, suddenly went "oh no, I am in labour". Baby arrive less than an hour later, at home as could not get into car. I only made noise when I was in transition, saying "I can't do this", because I had no pain relief available. But whole labour was 1.5 hour from first twinge to delivery, so fast and furious and over quickly.

With DS (first baby) I was on AN ward overnight for observation as waters had gone at 35+4.

I - along with the whole ward - was woken up at 3.30am when they admitted a woman who was howling with pain (turned out she was 3cm dilated). At that point I noticed I was having a few period-pain type twinges; over the next couple of hours of pacing up and down the corridor these turned into fairly constant, painful backache. I went and found a MW and told her I was gearing up for labour - she wasn't at all interested suggested I go for a bath if I couldn't sleep.

I'd only been in the bath less than a minute when - bam! - a huge contraction took my breath away and I was sick everywhere - it was literally like being grabbed from inside. Rang for a MW, naively expecting one to come running right away, but when no-one came I figured I'd better try to get out of the bath between ctx. By the time the MW turned up I'd managed to get dried, dressed, cleaned up most of the mess and was brushing my teeth. Told the MW I was definitely in labour now, to which I got a 'yeah, right' look and told to go back to bed and await a monitor.

Lying on my side, strapped to the monitor the contractions were getting really painful, so every 10minutes or so I rang the bell and begged asked when I could get some gas & air. I was told I had to wait for a doctor to see me before they could agree I was in labour and be transferred down to labour ward. For some reason I was very aware of the other patients on the ward and didn't want to wake them up so tried to keep quiet (more fool me!). Eventually the doc turned up, felt my tummy and pronounced I was having 'some mild tightenings' . I'm pretty sure she would have walked away at this point if I hadn't demanded an epidural as if these were the mild ones, I had no hope of making it through labour! Turned out I was 8cm dilated and DS arrived an hour and a half later.

Fortunately, DH made it half an hour before DS was born. Labour was 6 hours from first twinge, 3.5hours from first 'proper' contraction.

Am now 37.5wks with DC2 and, this time, as soon as things kick off I'll be banging on the door of the MLU and refusing to go home

Can I make a suggestion? Why doesn't every woman on this thread send a copy of the thread by email or post to the Supervisor of Midwives at whatever hospitals you gave birth at. Hopefully the thread will speak for itself, and give them pause for thought.

I was told I couldn't possibly be very far on and I should run a bath and take some paracetamol, then call back in an hour (on the phone, hb, first baby)

I rang back 30 mins later and gave birth at home 30 mins after that.

Yes, same thing here they didn't want to admit me and I was told I couldn't possibly be in proper labour because I wasn't making enough noise. I was absolutely terrified that if this was so painful then what was labour itself like? I literally grabbed my birthplan and crossed out "No epidural". Only because I forced the midwife to have a look, did she find out I was 7cm.

Next time I'll know better.

yep. ahd been in hospital for seven hours wandering round the labour ward, contracting at 4 min intervals. asked for some pain relief. was told i couldn't have any as i wasn't yet in established labour. i was a little persistent. they still refused pain relief. so i asked for something to help me sleep, as i was knackered and if i wasn't in labour, then i needed a way to get some rest for the next day. (was vbac and was starting to think elcs might be a good option...) was told that would be ok and she went off to get something. a different nurse came back and said they just needed to check if i had dilated at all before they gave me the meds. 7 cm.

at least they checked, i suppose. they'd already sent me home once, i'd vomitted all over the house and so gone back to the hospital.

there was no doubt at all that i was in labour with dd2 though. i made enough noise to wake the dead. weird how different labours made for such a different reaction in me. esp when ds1 was back to back... and i was pretty much silent. hey ho.

Yes, they sent dh home and he missed the birth.

My mum, in labour with my brother, was told she couldn't possibly be in labour as she wasn't full term (she was, they had the wrong notes). She held my brother's head in going up in the lift and gave birth as soon as they got her on the examining table, didn't even make it to delivery suite!

Was in ante-natal outpatients for a pre-booked appointment with consultant because it looked like pre-eclampsia was kicking in again and MW wanted it checked out as I'd had it with ds1.

Waters had broken just before going to the hospital, by the time I got there was getting very strong 3 contractions back to back. 30 seconds between and then another 3. MW were clucking that they didn't have a birth kit on the department, another one went off to find a wheelchair to transfer me to the maternity ward.

Saw the consultant, who pooh-poohed the notion I was in labour and told me to go home and come back when I was in labour properly.

mw sent me up to maternity ward regardless and arranged for me to go straight to a delivery room rather than the waiting room.

ds2 was born approx 20 mins after I saw the consultant, barely enough time to get trousers off and onto the bed.

Probably no surprise that the maternity unit is regarded as one of the worst in the country and consultant has been found at fault in coroners courts when babies have died as a result of his care/decisions

But - must say the mw were all fab and all recognised that I was having a very quick and very strong labour and ignored the consultant when they disagreed with him...

all of this is quite worrying as they've told me that I need to stop taking my Clexane as soon as I'm in labour. As its my first I've said 'how will I know I'm in labour' and they all give me a knowing look and say 'ooh you'll know when you're in labour'.....and they wonder why I'm pressing for an ELCS! Without my clexane I'm at risk of having a stroke, with it I'm at risk of dangerous bleeding

dancingcat they were never concerned about the fact that I was on clexane either. I was worried because my first labour was so quick and if my second labour was quicker (which it was) then the clexane would still be well and truly in my system, but it just didn't seem to worry them.

With my 2nd DD I'd been in and sent home at about 3o'clock. At 7 I knew I had to go back in, phoned them and MW's advice was to "think about how you are going to deal with the pain". I dealt with the pain by going in. When I got there she didn't check me at all, keep me in the assessment room and kept just asking how the pain was and saying that baby would probably arrive next day. She was going off at 8 so said she'd check how dilated I was before handing me over. I was 9cm. "Oh! You're having a baby!" - well yes, I am thanks for noticing.

Got moved into delivery suite where they were rushing about like blue arsed flies and eventually (at about 8.30) asked if I wanted any pain relief - yes please. Had DD at 8.45

I was told "you can't possibly be ready to push yet" .

Oh yes I can, you just watch me.

Just because they'd left me to my own devices after inducing me and I hadn't called them back/created a fuss/begged for pain relief they didn't believe I was fully dilated and ready to go.

With my second it was a different matter (and different hospital) , the midwife listened to me and was totally led by me.

On dd1 I arrived at the hospital with contractions very close together but manageable. Was examined by midwife who said I was 2cm and told me to send DH home and go to bed. I felt she was wrong. Within an hour I was pushing and told midwife and she rolled her eyes and grudgingly agreed to examine me again. DD was born within minutes. The midwife was shocked to say the least.

On dd2 contractions began very close together again and after previous fast labour wasn't taking any chances. Rang midwife from the car and she just seemed to know from talking to me that it was serious.

In fact after she checked my file she rang back to say drive as quickly as was safe and not worry about being stopped for speeding. She was right too - wheelchair from car to delivery room, up on bed, dd2 arrived after a couple of pushes.

TBH I think I got my own back with the first MW when she got soaked. In fact DH has since told me I said 'See?' in a smug way. This I do not remember as I was high as a kite.
I remember laughing at her though...

I do think that if you seem to be handling the pain ok, they just don't believe you. That certainly seems to be what I have gathered from these stories.

So, if there is anything to be learned, shout and scream even if you don't think you want to. 'cos otherwise you can't possibly be in labour

In fact print out this thread and put it in your notes ready to whip out at a moments notice.

Yes !
When having my 5th my husband kept ringing the midwife who was to busy to come out and she kept telling him ....over the phone !!! that i wasn't in established labour and to keep me at home.
Eventually i begged him just to ring the hospital and say we were on our way and to just take me.
He did and when i got to hospital i was in so much pain i couldn't walk so he had to get me a wheelchair.
I got into a delivery room and a midwife said can you get on the bed please we need to check you're in labour and moniter baby. I said i couldn't move and was told to stop being so silly. My husband went to park the car as he'd left it in a disabled bay and midwife said i could have hours to go. They took my jeans of just after he'd left the room to find baby was crowning, she was born right then and my husband missed the birth. I was very pleased we'd got to the hospital though as her delivery was actually difficult as the cord was round her neck !
It was my husbands first too as my other 4 are from a previous relationship, we were both gutterd he'd missed it.

This time he will take me to the hospital when I say

with ds (dc1) i called when my waters broke & i was being sick. Was told "well you can come in if you like but it's your first baby, we'll just send you home again".
Got there and was shown to a delivery room but then the MW told me she would leave me to see to women who were further on as i obv wasn't in proper labour.
At the next contraction i pressed the button and demanded something for the pain. I was examined & found to be 9cm!

When I had DD1, I was induced and it took 4 days so was 'parked' in L&D side ward the whole time. One night a young girl (~17-19) arrived in labour . Her boyfriend was sent home and she was given a shot of pethidine. The pethidine knocked her out but didn't take the pain away so she would scream for her mum with every contraction and then pass out as it finished. As far as she could tell it was one big contraction.

I kept ringing for the MW (was unable to walk with out crutches due to SPD) to help her as it was so distressing to listen to a young girl sobbing and begging for her mum and for the pain to go away. The MW would show up tell her not to be silly, she'd had pethidine and wasn't in pain (she would have passed out again by then so MW was just talking to her for my benefit).

About 2 hours later the MW deigned to examine her and found she was in active labour so whisked her down the corridor to the delivery suite. I felt so sorry for that girl, all alone, no one to help her and it feeling like he was having a 2 hour long contraction.

With DD2 I had planned a home birth (funnily) and when the contractions were getting stronger (but were still irregular) we called labour ward for the MWs to be sent out. Were told that they were all tired from working the night shift (it was about 4am), so DH said it was ok, the doula was on her way and we'd call back at shift change at 7am.

Called back after shift change (and contractions were still irregular but getting tronger/closer together/longer) and they very reluctantly sent out a MW from the next town 8 miles away. She arrived and did some paper work and called her colleague who was on her way from about 15 miles away. She examined me (during a contraction contra to birthplan and me and the doula asking her not to) said I was 4cm dilated and it would be hours and hours before the baby arrived.

2nd MW then turned up and they did some more paperwork and discussed who would go home. 1st MW went back to do her phone calls and home visits. I suddenly thought I was going to have an upset stomach and scuttled off to cloakroom with DH in tow. Went in to transition and had to be coaxed off toilet. 2nd MW phoned for 1st MW to come back (she hadn't yet got back to next town) and DD2 was born 4 minutes later. 1st MW arrived after the placenta was delivered (17 mins to deliver). All this took place around 45 mins after the first and only examination. Hours and hours my arse

The

I am so impressed by you Amazonian women for going through such high levels of pain without the medical support you needed. Awesome stuff.