My 14 year old daughter engaged in suicidal behaviour last Friday

[Ursulla42]

How do we navigate this?

Came from nowhere and she confessed after breaking down in here dance exams this weekend. Tied her school tie round her neck and hooked on a door hook, stood on a chair but didn't jump.

Took her to go who recommended a load of websites.

Called the school who recommended we complete a referral form for a local community mental health facility who will assess her. Not heard back yet.

She also confessed to one incidence of self harm cutting with a knife though this several weeks ago. She has opened up to is about feeling no one likes her and that she's anxious. None of this noticed by us as she has a nice friend group and doing well academically.

I am sat here lost in a sea of resources that mostly consist of websites with animated videos and "tips" for managing feelings of anxiety.

What should we do. We need a person to talk to,

We feel helpless and lost.

OP, I'm so sorry to hear this. I was really struck by what you said - just desperately wanting someone to talk to in order to think about the best way forward for supporting your daughter.

It's so good that she was able to talk to you.

I wonder if your GP surgery might have info about any local counselling services where your DD could be seen face to face, and perhaps for a longer period than CAMHS can offer?

Another poster mentioned that CAMHS is very stretched atm. It is! And - as they said - there are some wonderful practitioners there. However, I'm sure that knowing what your options are over and above what you get from CAMHS would be useful.

I don't think anyone has raised this yet. What's your sense of DD's online life and how that may be affecting her mental state? Is she open to talking about this with you?

As someone who was there as a teen, what made it worse was

Being on the pill. Intensified depression. This was the major factor.
Having too much time to think, be alone.

What helped was:
Getting away from.regular life and routine. Holiday or exciting plans to look forward to.
Having a pet rely on me and give me easy love.
Making real plans for the future outside of school. Having real goals I really wanted and was excited by.

Better help online counselling could be an option. Though in my case counselling was useless and they just told me I was a good person!!??!! And gave me a diary to fill in. Actually, tracking.moods to see if it is related to hormones could be a good idea, OP. Bur don't dismiss it as this. Could be a contributing factor though.

Be on the lookout for her accessing a particular pro-suicide forum, which is popular amongst teens and provides detailed information. It's blocked by UK ISPs however there are ways around it to gain access.

PM me if you would like more information.

This is a really good point, a grumpy old rescue cat definitely helped DD. He still senses when she needs it and will snuggle up next to her. Animals are wonderful. He has also helped me when I have found going through this difficult as a parent.