Young Vibes. New company set up by the same people as Your Child Freedom Formula and Peaky Parents

[Hols12345]

Hello, if you're looking for information on youngvibes.co.uk child anxiety program, they are the same people as YCFF and Peaky Parents. They've set up under a new name.

See previous thread for discussion:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/child_adolescent_mental_health/4352676-Peaky-Parents-Kactus-Kids-formerly-known-as-Your-Child-Freedom-Programme-YCFF-and-other-previous-names-Child-anxiety-programme

[TeenPlusCat]

@Shoot4TheStars Can you tell us any of the specific advice you were given?

[3xteens]

@Shoot4TheStars I've said it many times that everything will help someone. But they took us on knowing the other diagnosis, took our money at a time of great stress and vulnerability. We realised the programme was not working when we eventually watched a recording of our child's mentor session.

They did not see or understand a very basic thing that autistic people can do very well .... masking. Because according to Sam these diagnosis are false anyway, its ALL just anxiety.

In addition she dug herself a deeper hole by trying to 'counsel' some parents, suggesting we split up, telling me to come off my own medication without even having heard of it before let alone knowing the implications and other medical issues, as well as being like a playground bully.

As said previously, this large sum of money was a 'guaranteed' recovery, a lifelong service for the child to fall back on etc. We have had no contact from them for a long time, no concerned call asking how our child is getting on. Nothing. Sam's care didn't take long to turn to exasperation and annoyance and blame if the program wasn't working as she expected for someone.

So I'm glad you are one family this is working for.

[Shoot4TheStars]

One piece of specific advise means nothing, the total outcome is the sum of all the parts, there are so many complex jigsaw pieces that have to slot together. It's like saying "add baking powder" is one part of making a cake that means nothing in isolation.

I explained the concept in my last post, that is it, it's no secret, but there are so many parts to it.

To break it down, it's your child's awareness and change of their thoughts, behaviours and habits alongside an understanding of what is happening under their skin and why, to remove the fear of it. Then, the parents, you might not like what they say, but it forces you to take an informed look at how what you are doing is impacting your child. No holding back, it is frank, but it's got to be.

I would say to parents reading this - better to try and fail than never to have tried at all.

[TeenPlusCat]

I would say to parents reading this - better to try and fail than never to have tried at all.

But that is assuming that trying and failing doesn't add to harm which it may well do depending on what they advise and the cause of the anxiety in the first place.

One piece of specific advise means nothing, the total outcome is the sum of all the parts, there are so many complex jigsaw pieces that have to slot together. It's like saying "add baking powder" is one part of making a cake that means nothing in isolation.

Yes, this is what all the people who say it works for them say (almost as if Sam tells you to never give any details).
I just find it strange because I can, and have previously, been able to post bits and pieces about advice for us/DD from her therapists. Of course you can't get a whole treatment from hearing snippets, but snippets can give a flavour, which unfortunately no one from YCFF/YV ever seems able/willing to do.

[TeenPlusCat]

I'm not getting at you Shoot I am genuinely pleased it has worked for you and your family.

It just seems so pot luck because hey don't seem to have 'entry criteria' as in 'these are the types of family this will likely work for'. It seems rather to be 'we can help anyone and if it doesn't work it's you not being properly committed'.

[3xteens]

@TeenPlusCat in short (if I can keep it short!) ... when we did it there were steps,

1. We had to understand anxiety and the physiological effect of it.

2. Then we had to pretty much let our child do what they wanted; no school, screen time whenever, bed whenever, do nothing they don't want to. All to bring the anxiety levels (adrenaline) right down.
3. Child starts working with the mentor to understand anxiety, all the symptoms, that they won't kill you, it's just a physiological thing etc
4. Mentor than starts to challenge the child to do something that causes anxiety, like go outside (depends on what anxiety has been stopping them from doing). All with the knowledge about how they are feeling and how to overcome it, with the mentor contactable if needed.
5. Caterpillar, cacoon, then butterfly stage when they are left to do this without regular mentor meetings, just a contact.

All the while parents had parent, mum, dad zoom session to drop into Mon to Thur. These offered support, guidance, a telling off etc. but were not a "well mine did this, well mine did that" type discussion. All of this seemed to just develop as they got more families on board. Then there were changes. Then they bought in EXTRA CHARGES (!!) if you wanted to attend these zooms. Sam seemed to have favourites, she clearly was clicky with certain parents and pretty short and aggressive with others. If things weren't going as she expected you were pretty much blamed, you weren't doing it right, weren't being strong etc. My last session was so horrendous. I got focused on, not sure why.

And we still have no idea of actual qualifications or knowledge of the company. Many mentors were South African strangely. Sam only had experience of her own anxiety which was "worse than anyone else she knows", no experience of having a child with anxiety who has to be open to the program and put the hard work in for it to help.

If I did the program for me if could work. Doing it to help someone else is a different kettle of fish.

Sorry it has become a long post!

[TeenPlusCat]

Thank you @3xteens

[TherapistandParent]

Great if it genuinely worked - but it’s not a ‘controversial new therapy’. Parent support, alongside child therapy is proven to be 20% more effective than a child receiving individual counselling (or play therapy) alone. It’s a solid model, but it needs to be delivered by experienced, qualified professionals (preferably with training in neurodivergence) - not salespeople in-search of a quick profit. Shouting at parents, blaming them if it doesn’t work and high-pressure sales techniques do not belong within the therapeutic community.

[LittleSnakes]

It’s great it worked for you and your family shoot. I just couldn’t trust anyone who has so clearly proved themselves to be a liar and also to be mean to parents.

She doesn’t seem like a very trustworthy person or have much integrity.

[Hols12345]

@3xteens

@TeenPlusCat in short (if I can keep it short!) ... when we did it there were steps,

1. We had to understand anxiety and the physiological effect of it.

2. Then we had to pretty much let our child do what they wanted; no school, screen time whenever, bed whenever, do nothing they don't want to. All to bring the anxiety levels (adrenaline) right down.
3. Child starts working with the mentor to understand anxiety, all the symptoms, that they won't kill you, it's just a physiological thing etc
4. Mentor than starts to challenge the child to do something that causes anxiety, like go outside (depends on what anxiety has been stopping them from doing). All with the knowledge about how they are feeling and how to overcome it, with the mentor contactable if needed.
5. Caterpillar, cacoon, then butterfly stage when they are left to do this without regular mentor meetings, just a contact.

All the while parents had parent, mum, dad zoom session to drop into Mon to Thur. These offered support, guidance, a telling off etc. but were not a "well mine did this, well mine did that" type discussion. All of this seemed to just develop as they got more families on board. Then there were changes. Then they bought in EXTRA CHARGES (!!) if you wanted to attend these zooms. Sam seemed to have favourites, she clearly was clicky with certain parents and pretty short and aggressive with others. If things weren't going as she expected you were pretty much blamed, you weren't doing it right, weren't being strong etc. My last session was so horrendous. I got focused on, not sure why.

And we still have no idea of actual qualifications or knowledge of the company. Many mentors were South African strangely. Sam only had experience of her own anxiety which was "worse than anyone else she knows", no experience of having a child with anxiety who has to be open to the program and put the hard work in for it to help.

If I did the program for me if could work. Doing it to help someone else is a different kettle of fish.

Sorry it has become a long post!

@3xteens this is a great post, thank you 👍

[Hols12345]

Also @Sandrose, your post from  14/03/2023 10:49 was so useful as well. I wish we could pin posts.

[TeenPlusCat]

OMG. See who has posted on
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4601299-to-warn-you-about-this-company-offering-solutions-to-childs-anxiety-and-school-refusal

!!

[TeenPlusCat]

Offering to answer questions no less.

[Perfectstorm72]

Just seen….

[Chuppy222]

@SamanthaRobinsYoungVibes can you give me the link to the thread please

[TeenPlusCat]

@Chuppy222 the thread you want is here:

[TeenPlusCat]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4601299-to-warn-you-about-this-company-offering-solutions-to-childs-anxiety-and-school-refusal

(sorry when I deleted the extra rubbish MN has put in it deleted the link too)

[Chuppy222]

Thank you I found it. I’m actually flabbergasted!!! There must be someone somewhere this company can be reported to?
to give Sam her due, after losing her temper with my husband and my son hearing her calling him an asshole, she did call a couple of days later and apologise. The excuse was tempers were frayed because they are having to close down, and she was stressed. I had this a kingside a personal sob story. Could be true, who knows! Closing down obviously isn’t one of the truths!

[PickAChew]

Hmm, aggressive outbursts, manipulative sob stories, gaslighting, DARVO...

[PickAChew]

Just observations from the past few days, BTW.

[Sandrose]

@PickAChew

Hmm, aggressive outbursts, manipulative sob stories, gaslighting, DARVO...

Yes!!!

I had to look up DARVO - really useful!

DARVO - Deny (what you have done), Attack (the person who has called you out), Reverse Victim and Offender (ie claim to be the victim) - for anyone like me who hadn’t heard of it before.

Someone used exactly that on me about a year ago. Not in a really serious situation and someone that, thankfully, I ever have to deal with again. But it was still really upsetting at the time. I wish I had known there was a name for it - really validates what you can see happening and helps to communicate to others too.

Thanks @PickAChew

[Chuppy222]

Yes good description. It’s the using people’s vulnerabilities to make money that still blows my mind. I don’t mind commissioning qualified professionals, but not cowboys.

[3xteens]

The new Young Vibes website has a sort of disclaimer;

What if my child has been diagnosed Autistic?
Parents with children diagnosed with Autism must watch all the videos and make an informed decision. 

[TeenPlusCat]

So, washing their hands of responsibility?

If it doesn't work for an autistic child, they can say, well it's your fault for enrolling...