Car Seat in Minibus (Older Kid)

[BakerBop]

Looking some car seat advice please.

My daughter just turned 11yo and is small for her age. She’s moved groups for sports and dance and will be going in a minibus with other kids in the club each week. The club is great and they’ve checked her car seat fits in the minibus, know how to use it, etc. The problem is she’s begging me not to use it. She’s totally fine with it in my car, so it’s just being around other kids which is the problem because she’ll be the only kid in any sort of car seat (even including boosters). She’s nowhere near being able to be without it, so I’m just wondering what others have done or would suggest to help? Thx!

Legally she does not need a car seat in a minbus, so it is your decision as her parent.

If you want her to use one, could she have a backless booster for the minibus and keep her full sized one at home in your car? The lap belt position is the most important part of a booster's job particularly at 11yo even if she is smaller than average. It's still beneficial to have the full high back if it all fits properly, but a backless booster is a good compromise IMO for this kind of situation.

She will be at slightly less risk in the minibus than she would be in a car, because a minibus is physically larger so in an accident between the bus and another vehicle, the other vehicle is likely to come off worse unless it happens to be another minibus/van/larger vehicle like a bus or truck. The minibus being larger will receive less of the force from the accident, and so do the occupants. It's my understanding this is part of why minibuses are exempt from car seat requirements. In the US, school buses don't always have seatbelts for the same reason.

How tall is she?

Let her take just a booster cushion, you're going to put her off doing sport and dance if you make it a humiliating experience for her.

Yeah this.

Thx very much. I am a car seat stickler so I understand the rules but thx for clarifying. :)

I'm not willing compromise on her car seat simply because it's safety. If this were clothes or music or the like, then that's totally different of course. I have tried her in a booster but it's not the way to go so I'm not going to change her seat for her minibus ride. I think that would send the wrong message (despite the theoretical minor scientific difference). I really just need ideas/strategies to help her adjust and recognize why her car seat isn't negotiable (anywhere of course, but the minibus in this case).

Thx very much again. :)

Just under 130cms.

Thx. I get what you're saying, but that's not an option and I think it would send the wrong message that the importance of car seat safety is variable. I've tried her in a booster before but it's not the way to go. I'm looking for ideas/strategies to help recognize why having her car seat on the minibus isn't negotiable. Thx! :)

Poor kid, you are setting her up to be a laughing stock. An 11 doesn't need to be in a car seat for christ sake.

Obviously it’s up to you- but a lot of children would rather not go in the mini bus than have a car seat. What do you do about public busses?

How tall is she? Does the minibus not have things to adjust the shoulder belt height? My kids were on the school minibus from 3 years old and not one child uses car seat. It’s not like a normal car.

If you want her to give up a fun hobby, then sure make her use a car seat. I would not make this my hill to die on. Poor kid.

What is going to happen when she is 12 or 13 and probably still small

I really don't want to be rude, and I don't know anything about your kids and they may well have not needed a seat at 11, but lots of 11 year olds do needs seats. Car seat safety is massively important and way too many kids are out of seats way too soon. I won't say any more than this, because I'm only looking for ideas and strategies to help with this specific situation. Thx. :)

I'm looking for ideas/strategies to help recognize why having her car seat on the minibus isn't negotiable. Thx! :)

If this is your decision then this is not a car seat question, it's a parenting one. IMO she doesn't need to agree with you. It's your choice as the parent and you've agreed it with the drivers, end of story. Sometimes we do make non negotiable choices which are out of step with other parents and which our children do not like, but it is your choice and you can make that if you want to.

Honestly safety wise given she's over 125cm and it's a larger vehicle, she would be absolutely fine in a backless booster - if you are especially worried about the lack of side impact protection, then inform the driver that she is not to sit directly next to a window. But as said, whether she travels in a high back booster, backless booster or no booster is your decision.

She loves the club (as do I) so that's a positive thing. We don't use public buses and the crash dynamics of public buses are way different to cars and minibuses anyway so that's apples and oranges. I won't say any more than this, because I'm only looking for ideas and strategies to help with this specific situation. Thx. :)

Just under 130cms. It does, but that doesn't do enough to get a proper seat belt fit and there are other reasons her car seat is preferable anyway. Thx anyway though. :)

Until she can fit safely in a booster or just the seat belt, she'll be in her car seat. I won't say any more than this, because I'm only looking for ideas and strategies to help with this specific situation. Thx anyway. :)

Just be honest with her and say the law says xxx and not using a car seat increases the chance you will die in an accident. Other parents have decided the risk is low or their children are bigger. But your decision as a parent is that she needs to use one.

But please op be prepared that this will make a huge impact on her socially and perhaps she will decide to give up the hobby as a result. I am wincing at the idea of her in the car seat it's going to be awful for her

You're not going to get her to be OK with this, because she knows it's social suicide.

You're far more likely to have her quit the club instead.

I do empathise as I am also a stickler for car seat safety. But I can also imagine how she feels at 11 as the only one.

Is there a way you can make the journey yourself in the car each week, rather than her going in the minibus?

What kind of routes will the minibus journeys be? I.e. motorways, duration, time of day etc. That might make a bit of difference to me.

Honestly though, it's probably not a hill I'd die on either at 129cm and 11yrs, for infrequent use in a minibus, but there we go. There's no magic advice anyone here can give you on how to make her OK with it though! Best of luck sorting it out.

I think she'll decide not to go, I would in her situation.

Thx. I agree 100% - it's definitely a parenting decision and I appreciate the constructive kindness. :)

They asked if her being in the front would be better but I explained why that would actually be worse and they really did listen which was great. Her car seat is going to be installed in the second row in the left hand seat which actually puts her right in the center of the whole minibus (front to back as well as sideways).

If after the first few weeks she's really really struggling then I may consider a booster because then I may have some leverage to help her use one better than she has when we tried before. All that being said, I really don't think she will be that way - I think she just needs to see that the other kids (about half of whom she's been friends with for a few years) won't really care she's in car seat (at least not after one trip). I guess could ask if any of the other kids will be in boosters but even then she sees a booster as "better" than her car seat so I don't know if that's wise either. I just need strategies and ideas to explain before she makes the first trip.

Thx very much again. :)

Thx very much. :) Sadly no - the only way she can do it is by using the minibus. I appreciate the idea though. :)

Thx very much. I appreciate that. :)

It's a 45-minute journey there and the same back. After school pickup and coming back for 6:00pm. One motorway, and some dual carriageways too.

I'm all ears for ideas if you have them! :)