Car Seat in Minibus (Older Kid)

[BakerBop]

Looking some car seat advice please.

My daughter just turned 11yo and is small for her age. She’s moved groups for sports and dance and will be going in a minibus with other kids in the club each week. The club is great and they’ve checked her car seat fits in the minibus, know how to use it, etc. The problem is she’s begging me not to use it. She’s totally fine with it in my car, so it’s just being around other kids which is the problem because she’ll be the only kid in any sort of car seat (even including boosters). She’s nowhere near being able to be without it, so I’m just wondering what others have done or would suggest to help? Thx!

Not that I’d prob put 8yo in this car seat, but to be prepped for younger one!

https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/reported-road-casualties-in-great-britain-provisional-estimates-year-ending-june-2025/reported-road-casualties-in-great-britain-provisional-estimates-year-ending-june-2025

2 people died in the whole of last year in bus crashes. The risk is so so so small.

Respectfully, there's no conclusive research and that's the point. Also, this sort of thing is:

a) counterproductive - there's also lots of research which says the question still needs answering. That is spread across hundreds of conference proceedings, and in research journals most people can't access without academic accounts and even if they could would not have the knowledge and training to understand the issues being discussed.

b) not why I posted.

What is important and matters the most is that children have the correct car seat for them and the vehicle, and that they use it correctly for as long as they can.

I appreciate what you're saying but you're asking for something in the negative which cannot be practically provided. I simply recommend that all parents go to a professionally-trained car seat expert if they can because there are too many factors to make generalised statements that won't benefit the safety of children. I don't want to sound rude at all - I just want to be clear. :)

If this isn’t a complete wind up, and I’m starting to think it might be, then OP’s DD is so old that it’s probably one of the old style weight based seats and not a newer height based model.

Just so others know, yes there is a seat with a 5-point harness which goes to 36kg but it's not widely available.

You're correct - it's a R44 standard Traveller Plus. Just so people know.

Given it was £600 and she is 11 but 130cm, I am guessing Britax Traveller, which is a special needs restraint modelled off the long defunct US seat Britax Husky.

OP your daughter, your choice, but your fear of booster seats seems very extreme. I would not expect to see a child in this seat unless they are disabled or extremely large for their age. What makes you say she isn't ready to sit in a booster seat? I have also read a lot of research and I agree with you that the "5 point harness = dangerous" point is largely false and widely misquoted, but there is an inherent benefit in reducing the amount of steps between the child and the safety features integrated in the vehicle, ie the seatbelt, and there is a time where it makes sense to move there in order to eliminate in between steps. To harness to this age is not usually beneficial, which isn't the same as saying it's harmful, but it is extremely out of step with the way that other people choose to protect their children in cars.

Thx for posting this - and I mean that, I'm not trying to be sarcastic at all. This will be useful for others to read. :) Thx!

You can’t because I doubt it exists. It’s this exact example of misuse that the OP thinks all high backed booster users are following; and now the OP is asking for advice on how to lie to her child as she’s misunderstood the very, very clear advice and research. Advice that even the most stringent, highly tested car seat manufacturers (for example Swedish plus tested) which are very clear about the importance of extended rear facing advise consumers for when you forward face your child.

Regardless of what ever anyone has said on this thread, how much research there is and what the experts say the OP will continue to use the car seat unsafely for an 11 year old because she’s decided - what she wants here is advice on how to lie and mislead her child.

Your "clarity" is missing the feelings and emotions of your child. You don't care about her carrying on with the club or keeping friends. You're prepared to sacrifice all of that for the absolutely miniscule chance of a minibus crash. Risks are everywhere, learning to understand and manage them rationally is part of life. Your obsession with a car seat for an 11yo is irrational and will damage your relationship with her, and her relationship with her peers. She will forever be "the one with the baby seat".

The name of the seat is at the bottom of this message but I encourage you to please know the following:

If your child can get a good belt fit with a booster and can remain seated for the whole time they're in the car, then a booster is extremely safe. It will also be cheaper, easier to use, and may last longer.

If you wish to look up my daughter's seat, it is called the Traveller Plus. :)

The name of the seat is at the bottom of this message but I encourage you to please know the following:

If your child can get a good belt fit with a booster and can remain seated for the whole time they're in the car, then a booster is extremely safe. It will also be cheaper, easier to use, and may last longer.

If you wish to look up my daughter's seat, it is called the Traveller Plus. :)

I appreciate you don’t want her to be embarrassed, and she hasn’t been, in the confines of your car, but this is a public space, with a number of her peers, and the one thing most children crave is to fit in with all the others, not to be the odd one out, or different. If you’re looking for strategies for her not to feel embarrassed, then at least this thread should have been helpful in highlighting that there aren’t any! The only strategy is for you to help her deal with her embarrassment. The most important thing you can do for her is to accept that she will be very self-conscious about this situation and go from there. Trying to persuade her to deny her feelings (which a vast majority of children her age would share) will be incredibly counter productive for both of you, imo.

Does she have additional needs if she's in an adapted/SEN car seat?

and can remain seated for the whole time they're in the car

Arguably, this is not necessary - as long as the seatbelt isn't trapped by the booster seat, it should retract properly around their body and readjust around any position changes to keep them safe. Nobody remains perfectly still for the entirety of a car journey, not even adults. People are not crash test dummies.

Yes, you need to make sure that they aren't leaning out of the belt constantly (this is why my 4.5yo is still in a 5 point harness) but as long as they are remaining broadly in position, a booster seat is a perfectly safe option for a child who is over 105cm.

We are a family who are strict on car seat safety, but i personally wouldn't expect my child at that age to use a car seat in a minibus as it's very near the cut off for having carseats in general.

She went on a school trip in year 1 in a mini bus and I enforced it then and took her carseat into school.
She went on another trip last year I think it was in year 3, however i hadn't realised beforehand a minibus was being used.If I did i would likely have still sent her a seat.

I think my cut off would be year 5.

You are right though that many people aren't strict enough.Lots of kids my daughters age or younger only have booster cushions! We have a quite sturdy and padded isofix highback as we tried her in non isofix ones and they were wobbling all over the place! And some highbacks can be super flimsy.

Car seats have never been important to me as I don’t have a car and live in a city so this all sounds completely mad to me. I wonder if OP is as controlling around other risks of injury to her child, e.g. crossing the street, catching a virus, eating spherical food.

Thank you to everyone who has genuinely tried to help me today. I appreciate it.

I just want to say that I'm going to stop replying now as some people are being "unconstructive" and I don't want those people who are clearly misunderstanding things (or worse starting to sound like they're shouting) to detract from things.

I would encourage everyone to seek expert advice (as I did) on child seats, know that boosters are very safe when used correctly and importantly not to get overconfident when reading and "understanding" research. It is far more complicated than one article, one set of advice, or one single authority. There are car seat experts out there - please talk to them about your specific situation and seek advice on the basis of your kid(s), vehicle(s), and situation(s).

Again, thank you very much to everyone who gave constructive and on-point perspectives. I am grateful. :)

Is there about to be a massive drip feed that your daughter has special needs that require this type of car seat? Because if not the teasing is only going to get significantly worse when her peers find out she is sitting in a car seat designed for youngsters with special needs.

So she has special needs @BakerBop ?
looked it up “The Traveller Plus is one of the most popular Special Needs Car Seats. ”

Does your daughter have some kind of medical condition that courses her to need a 5 point harness at 11? I've only ever heard of them be used for older kids with significant additional needs.

If so, maybe you could ask the coach to explain to the other kids that it's more of a disability adaptation then a standard car seat, in the same way as wheelchairs are different to buggies.

There are two issues at play here, and both of them carry a level of risk.

The risk of her being in a minibus accident is pretty negligible. It’s around 1 fatality per 1 billion passenger kilometre. Pedestrian fatalities are up to 20 x greater, so 20 fatalities per 1 billion passenger kilometre. Making a child use a car seat who does not legally need to use one in a minibus is minimising a risk that is already negligible.
The risk of a child who is made to use a car seat who does not legally need to use one in a minibus either ending up ceasing to take part in that activity is likely to be quite high and the risk of that child being teased by their peers and feel pretty awful is also likely to be quite high.
You are putting your irrational fears of a tiny risk above that of your daughter’s feelings. That’s very sad. Then you compound that by telling anyone who tries to point this out to you I won't say any more than this, because I'm only looking for ideas and strategies to help with this specific situation. Thx anyway. :) which frankly is weird.
I may have some leverage to help her use one better than she has when we tried before. So you have actually used a booster before then?

I'm an anxious parent. Even I can see that there is a 100 percent risk of humiliation and social isolation for your daughter. Maybe with damaging long term consequences for her mental health. Versus a tiny actual risk of serious physical injury in a thankfully rare minibus crash if she wears a seatbelt.

I think this is fake.

Is there anyone else in DD’s life that you could run this idea past? Her father? A good friend?

Or do you think you could ask yourself - honestly - is this really about DD’s safety, or is it about your anxiety?

Kindly, I think you should be speaking to your GP about CBT for yourself, rather than looking for ways to make your daughter accept something that she is quite legitimately against.