Struggling with likely inoperable cancer diagnosis while waiting for confirmation

[EmeraldJeanie]

I'm struggling. My husband is in hospital and been told after MRI likely inoperable cancer. If confirmed (biopsy Tuesday and they seem certain) then week til confirmation of something they are sure about and then chemo/ palliative care. Also procedure on Monday before biopsy Tuesday.
He looks the fittest man on the ward. He walked 15,000 steps round the hospital grounds yesterday. He is masking for our boys - sixth form and university age but talking about finances/ dignitas with me.
I am signed off work with stress. We are both late 50s.
This is all rather outing for anyone who knows me but perhaps that doesn't matter.
I need to buck up. I am losing weight and slim anyway. This limbo awful and yet knowing for sure will be awful too.

I’m so sorry, those words seem so inadequate. When your world has fallen apart. Sending love and strength, to you and your boys. 🌺

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you have family to help you process and cope with this difficult time. It's so horrible when it all happens so quick. Sending love for the coming days.

So sorry, there is nothing that can be said that helps 😔 the shock and the grief and the loss, life is so unkind.

OP I can't imagine how awful this is. It sounds like it was a lot more sudden than any of you were anticipating.

I can only say that you should reflect, not on the fact that you didn't have more time, but on the fact it sounds mercifully quick and especially since he was talking about dignitas. All things considered it sounds like a good death (there's no such thing really) and that it ultimately wasn't a huge amount from what he really wanted.

Sometimes it's worth reflecting on these details however painful they may be at the time. Even if isms good as he was going to get under the incredibly trying circumstances.

Don't forget to look after yourself whilst looking after the kids.

I'm so sorry you didn't have more time. You'll all be in my prayers.

These are just words on a screen and nothing will make this even slightly bearable, but I am so so sorry that you are going through this. Go slow one moment at a time. Be very kind to yourself right now.

So very very sorry to read this. Devastated for you. Sending the biggest hugs to you and your family.

I am so so very sorry for your loss! Big hugs to you! Take care and be strong for your kids! Xx

I'm so sorry to hear that. Sending strength to you and your sons. x

I'm so very sorry, what a tragic loss.

So so sorry for your loss

I'm so so sorry.

So sorry op. 💐

So sorry to hear this, that's truly awful, I'm thinking of you all tonight 😔

So sorry @EmeraldJeanie how awful - nothing anyone can say can make it better but just know you have lots of people here to listen and empathise if you want it.

I’m so sorry for you loss.

I’m so very sorry.

I wanted to add my sympathy @EmeraldJeanie . That is so very quick. My mum is in a similar position, given 12-24 months but in a rapid decline after 3. My only comfort is that she will hopefully just fade away, but I fear every time I see her it will be the last time.

I’m so terribly sorry. Sending love to your y and your boys x

So sorry for your loss. 😔

So very sorry for your loss x

I couldn't read this without expressing my sympathy to you & your family. I hope your husband didn't suffer too much & passed away as peacefully as possible.

This may not sound in the least bit comforting right now but I just felt like sharing how I coped when confronted with my husband's sudden illness which if not caught in time could have taken his life. The one thing that kept me going was my faith & knowing it wouldn't be too long before our souls would reunite. I respect the fact not everyone believes this & that's ok. Now we are in our 60s the thought gives me even more comfort. If he goes before me although I would be absolutely devastated I would try my best to stay strong for my family & live my life knowing we would meet again in a different life. 💕

So very sorry op. I was hoping for a miracle for you. Your last post was like a thunderbolt. Sending you my deepest sympathy.

Oh @EmeraldJeanie I am so sorry.

Im so sorry OP. I lost my mum to cancer in a similarly fast and very traumatic way. If you’ve been through something like that you can recognise it very easily and your posts definitely had my alarm bells ringing. She was only in her 50s too. Just sending you so much love and strength right now. One day at a time. I think of my mum every single day, she is always in my heart and mind and never far away.

I am so sorry. I will be thinking of you x