Likely pancreatic cancer. How do I tell my mum that I'm probably dying from the same thing that killed my father?

[Earlandmrsgrey]

As the title says. Been suffering with bowel problems/pain for sixth months. GP decides it must be IBS as bloods are fine, it's not coeliac disease and multiple fit test are negative. I'm not sure and carry on in more and more pain until I eventually feel a lump just under my ribs on the left. Have to wait ages to see another GP but he has a feel and sends a referral straight off for an urgent ultrasound. Ultrasound results show hydronephrosis of the left kidney with a possible tumour and more worrying of all is a mass in the tail of the pancreas.

I've not seen anyone else yet so still early on in the diagnosis but I know it's not good. I've been feeling more and more lethargic, I'm in more and more pain, my back is agony and I'm losing so much weight.

Fifteen years ago my beloved father had the same symptoms, he knew he was dying months before diagnosis and I was the only one who believed him. Eventually he got the diagnosis and lived for another fifteen days. I think I have longer than that as I'm still functioning fairly well but I know the outlook will be poor.

How do I tell my mother? I spoke to her a few weeks ago saying that I was unwell. All she could say was "please don't let it be the pancreas." I just want to protect her, that's who I am. Always the one to look out for others before herself. Then there is my husband who is not one to cope and then my young adult sons.

So sad.

😂😂😂😂 I wish!

Although I was only 27 when I had mine so recovered really well - I now look like I’ve ate too many mr whippys! 😂

You are extremely fortunate to survive 5 years after a Whipples procedure. Well done.

I’m actually 8 years out! 31st July 2017 is when I had my surgery. It’s massive surgery but it’s very survivable providing you don’t suffer a reoccurrence. I know people who are twenty plus years past it now. As I’m so far out, I’m about as likely to get PC again as average Joe on the street who’s never had it before! It’s all about early diagnosis, I’m very lucky and very grateful but I really want people to see that it’s all very doable, too x

My parent is coming up 15 years post Whipple. The outcomes are much better now.

I love your pictures OP. I've been following since the beginning, admiring your humour throughout and wishing you the very best for a full recovery.

Hit a bit of a brick wall these last couple of days. I'm so so tired and weak.

Bloods, blood sugars, urine and stoma output all good and am apparently well enough to be discharged. However, we've all agreed that I'm going to stay in until the staples are removed. I didn't fancy being thrown into the District Nursing system for so many staples. They say it will take two sessions to remove them all...not looking forward to the removal bit but am looking forward to the removed bit!

I then have to trek back up to UCLH for a follow up on the 8th. I could have opted for telephone but I'm much better at in person dialogue. Consultant thinks the stoma is reversible but timelines depend on the pathology reports on Gary.

Had a lovely visit from my boss and close colleague of over 20 years. She even came up with a cup of Earl Grey!

All sounding positive @Earlandmrsgrey
Sending love and strength

This is all sounding positive. Remember your body is working insanely hard to heal - yhd fact that it’s still operating within normal accepted parameters whilst doing that is incredible - feeling tired is normal.

You’re amazing

Amazing news OP, keep up the good recovery work, it won’t be long before you are in the comforts of your own home ❤️ x

Such good news!! Earl Grey is the very best of teas - it's all I drink!

Earl Grey fan here, too! When you get home I think you should browse online for some sort of Christmas project to work on. Treat yourself to some fabric or threads and design something as an ongoing distraction while you recover.

And do you know what? I think you rock! Your attitude is amazing.

You awe doing amazing, remember to be kind to yourself and your body as you’ve both been through an ordeal.

I bet you can’t wait to be back in your own bed and in the quiet, but agree getting the staples out in hospital is probably for the best.

You sound as though you are doing really well @Earlandmrsgrey. I had major bowel surgery in 2023 and the tiredness afterwards is a real thing and can be quite debilitating. I’m sure you will be a lot more comfortable with all those staples gone! Best wishes for your continued recovery.

Husband had to have about 40 staples taken out recently and I was with him - it was fine, so don’t worry. You’ve been through so much and done so well - you’ve got this!

Take as much rest as you can get. Great that the stoma may be reversible.

Thank you for the update. I think of you so often and am glad things are progressing well. Best to you

Sending love dear @Earlandmrsgrey. We’re all so rooting for you! I finally got round to watching the Sewing Bee final and was glad to see the wonderful Caz won; and her story of recovering from open heart surgery was inspiring and unexpected. Yasmin’s trompe l’oeil showstopper was also very cool and I found it heartwarming to witness the love she had for her partner. You have to lay low right now but the rest of your life awaits. Rest and build up your strengthX

Wishing you strength from this corner of the Internet. I bet your energy is all being used by your body on repairs. Hoping you can find some cosy things to do until it’s staple removal time. And hoping that the results from Gary are as favourable as possible. Gary sucks.

Wishing you all the best OP. You are in my thoughts.

Hey op, don’t stress too much about the staples I didn’t feel a thing! Definitely stay in if you’re not 100% sure you’re ready to go home - I think we try to rush home sometimes and in reality, we need looking after.

What a lovely boss to bring you Earl Grey. It’s times like this that you really appreciate those who truly see you.
The staple removal shouldn’t be too bad. It doesn’t adhere as much as stitches, so it shouldn’t hurt. It will probably be more exhausting having someone moving you around to access them.
I’m so pleased all your results are so good.

Lovely to read a positive update OP. Enjoy the tea!

Just to say, that I work across the road from you, so if you need anything, just DM me...

What a positive update OP, wishing you all the best. You are incredibly brave x

You are doing great @Earlandmrsgrey

The amount of energy needed to heal is amazing. Your body is doing an amazing thing,

The urge to get home most be overwhelming. Don’t rush it though. For you and your equally lovely family, an extra few days will make a big difference.