Likely pancreatic cancer. How do I tell my mum that I'm probably dying from the same thing that killed my father?

[Earlandmrsgrey]

As the title says. Been suffering with bowel problems/pain for sixth months. GP decides it must be IBS as bloods are fine, it's not coeliac disease and multiple fit test are negative. I'm not sure and carry on in more and more pain until I eventually feel a lump just under my ribs on the left. Have to wait ages to see another GP but he has a feel and sends a referral straight off for an urgent ultrasound. Ultrasound results show hydronephrosis of the left kidney with a possible tumour and more worrying of all is a mass in the tail of the pancreas.

I've not seen anyone else yet so still early on in the diagnosis but I know it's not good. I've been feeling more and more lethargic, I'm in more and more pain, my back is agony and I'm losing so much weight.

Fifteen years ago my beloved father had the same symptoms, he knew he was dying months before diagnosis and I was the only one who believed him. Eventually he got the diagnosis and lived for another fifteen days. I think I have longer than that as I'm still functioning fairly well but I know the outlook will be poor.

How do I tell my mother? I spoke to her a few weeks ago saying that I was unwell. All she could say was "please don't let it be the pancreas." I just want to protect her, that's who I am. Always the one to look out for others before herself. Then there is my husband who is not one to cope and then my young adult sons.

So sad.

Just jumping on to say....

When Whipple's is required (may be wrong, but it sounds like this is what you've had - no-one's business unless you choose to say, of course) medics often make very gloomy noises about the future. Don't listen! (Listen to their dietary advice, naturally 😄)

One of my church members, almost two decades ago, had this procedure for widespread cancer. Her prognosis was terrible. We did a lot of praying (I recommend it if it's your thing!) and, all these years later, she's doing brilliantly and is eating an entirely normal diet. Still NAD.

Thinking of you (and praying quietly - sshhh! - in case you don't want me to!)! 😉

@ToutesetBonneits not a Whipple’s , as you would know if you had read the thread which has moved on very significant since the first post. Best wishes to you OP. Massive ordeal you’re going through 💐💐

I don't think I ever got around to posting my hydrangea. I finished it in such a hurry just before we left for A&E on that Sunday night. I wanted a picture for each of my boys in case I didn't make it. Once I get home I think I'll add a few more sparkly bits.

Yes, I am in the Royal Free on the 12th floor and the elevators or lack of, are a topic of conversation for many of the staff! Actually, that reminds me of my pre-assessment. There I am, lying semi starkers on a couch with ECG electrodes on when another male patient is hurried into the room after he had run up the stairs in order to make his appointment on time!! Fortunately I was behind the curtain the whole time but it nearly turned into a Kenneth Williams/Carry On farce.

Anyways, it's a gorgeous morning and I've actually eaten most of my breakfast. I'm no longer drinking the gloop after another queasy incident with one last night.

That’s beautiful @Earlandmrsgrey

What did you have for breakfast? Crumpets and lemon curd for me, accompanied by 2 paracetamol and a strepsil as the first lurgy of the season seems to have got the better of me overnight!

Enjoy your view, and your next meal! xx

@Earlandmrsgrey you're so creative. Love this.

@Earlandmrsgrey So confused - the view you posted is definitely not from The Royal Free which is in Hampstead and has a totally different skyline. Your picture has the view from The Royal London in Whitechapel 100% - you can see the city, which you can’t from The Royal Free as it’s a completely different side of London!

Your hydrangea picture is gorgeous @Earlandmrsgrey , something to rightly feel proud of.
Glad to hear you've managed breakfast too ❤️

The 12th floor of the Royal Free gives you a view of the whole of London. We used to love working nights and see the whole city lit up. You can see for miles in every direction as it's on a hill.

We used to have to wait for the lifts to go down to the canteen for at least 10minutes each way, queue up for our food for another 5 and eat it and get a sneaky fag in as well, which we had to walk off site for!! (I no longer smoke!) Then wait another 10 minutes to get back to the ward all in a 30 minute break. You learnt to eat very quickly!! 🤣🤣

Thank you so much for putting me right - I will be forever grateful to you. Do enjoy the rest of your day!!!!

Yes from the 12th floor you can see everything. I recognised the houses. The lifts are ten times better now but that’s not saying much! It is a great canteen though please tell your husband not everyone finds it in time! The m and s on site is expensive but they do lovely hot drinks. I’m so glad to hear your update and I hope you keep on going in the right direction x

@Fatandfluffy why does it matter what hospital you think @Earlandmrsgrey is at? It doesn't matter.

@Fatandfluffywhat are you trying to achieve with your posts? This is a thread about a poster who has received a significant, scary diagnosis and undergone very major surgery. I don’t think it’s the place for geography lessons.

Exactly why does it matter what Hospital, I'm sure OP if she was bothered, couldn't be concerned about your interest in which hospital or what view as long as she is getting the care she needs.

@Fatandfluffy words fail me. I've reported you though. Absolutely no need.

Are you a stalker? What a strange thing to do asking chat GPD about a posters location. You need to have a serious word with yourself and really, OP’s location is none of your damn business.

Just to hopefully stop the weird speculation in its tracks so as not to derail away from OPs actual reason for posting - this IS the London Free Hospital. This image is taken from a vantage point that overlooks Lawn Road, which is where the houses you can see in the forefront of the image are located.

Not quite sure what would be achieved by insinuating the OP isn't where she said she was, when she actually is.

Odd.

A couple of us have mentioned a whipples or something similar and been slammed for it; it doesn't mean we haven't read the thread, it just means we are assuming the surgery is similar. I say I had a whipples, when in fact, I had a pylorus preserving pancreaticicoduodenumectomy, which is a modified whipples. Anyway, it's just a way of expressing empathy and understanding ie, 'I've had a similar surgery that is also extremely difficult, you are not alone, I get it and hope it brings you comfort that somebody else understands what you are going through and is here 8 years on to tell the tale'. Just a bit of hope during a difficult time, which I know is all I looked for.

Hope you're healing well, OP. Your hydrangea is gorgeous and you're doing amazing being able to concentrate on it!

Just wanted to say how delighted I am you are now on the other side of the surgery. You've been through an awful lot and we know there is still a way to go. There will always be support here. Keep going ❤️

Seriously… are you people ok? I really think everyone arguing the toss about hospital room views should have a good hard think and then request they’re deleted

I think it's just one person. The others are counter arguing.

Now I have to look up ‘Whipples’.

I’m guessing it’s not as nice as a procedure to let you live on Mr Whippy ice creams.

And now I’m practicing saying an 11 syllable word. Almost as many as supercallifragilisticexpialidoscious!

Hope your infection markers continue to drop and you manage to avoid the gloop. Are they talking yet about how long they may keep you and what support you are going to need when they discharge you?