Likely pancreatic cancer. How do I tell my mum that I'm probably dying from the same thing that killed my father?

[Earlandmrsgrey]

As the title says. Been suffering with bowel problems/pain for sixth months. GP decides it must be IBS as bloods are fine, it's not coeliac disease and multiple fit test are negative. I'm not sure and carry on in more and more pain until I eventually feel a lump just under my ribs on the left. Have to wait ages to see another GP but he has a feel and sends a referral straight off for an urgent ultrasound. Ultrasound results show hydronephrosis of the left kidney with a possible tumour and more worrying of all is a mass in the tail of the pancreas.

I've not seen anyone else yet so still early on in the diagnosis but I know it's not good. I've been feeling more and more lethargic, I'm in more and more pain, my back is agony and I'm losing so much weight.

Fifteen years ago my beloved father had the same symptoms, he knew he was dying months before diagnosis and I was the only one who believed him. Eventually he got the diagnosis and lived for another fifteen days. I think I have longer than that as I'm still functioning fairly well but I know the outlook will be poor.

How do I tell my mother? I spoke to her a few weeks ago saying that I was unwell. All she could say was "please don't let it be the pancreas." I just want to protect her, that's who I am. Always the one to look out for others before herself. Then there is my husband who is not one to cope and then my young adult sons.

So sad.

Ah you sound so much stronger today. Inflammation markers coming down sounds very positive, it’s crazy and amazing that we live in times where they can even measure these and cut things out and save the day. Hope you get the very best of care and understanding from everyone in the hospital and every day brings about further healing xx

You try and laugh about things that aren’t the least bit funny.
I was just wondering if you did needlework before I saw you going to the sewing bee.
Needlepoint or embroider your mum a pillow that reads, ”SHIT HAPPENS”
All the terrible times in my life, at every bad event, every suicide and cancer, my oldest and dearest friend said to me, “Dream, shit happens.”
And it made me laugh - at the lowest points in my life.
Because what else can you do?
Shit happens.
I’m sending you love from far away ❤️

Ps - try the revolting gloop through a straw so you might be able to swallow without tasting it too much.

Great news OP!! Thanks for the update.

I trained as a nurse a very very long time ago at the Royal Free, I hope they are treating you well. It was a fantastic training hospital in those days, but has changed an awful lot since my time. I worked on Gloucester - Wills for 2 years and looked after lots of celebs. Loved every minute of it. Hope your recovery goes well. Great views from the 12th floor. I expect the lifts to the LG floor are just as slow for the nurses half hour break!!!!
Best wishes.

I remember my first post-op bath (no shower in the ward) … it wash even! Hope you felt better for your wash, even if you had no knickers / hair conditioner!

OP you really are doing great . Onwards and upwards. I hope your husband has delivered your hair conditioner and underwear! Xx

Sending lots of love and prayers xx

Lovely to hear you sounding so well. And you are facing up to things like a champ. I hope they find something more palatable soon, are you hungry or just feeling like you should eat something nutritious?

Embrace the frizz and enjoy the breeze around your nether regions before DH arrives with your pants x

So pleased to see your updates op, I’ve been following along quietly and wishing you all the best.

Good luck OP, long road but you will get there. Could you ask the mods to change the title of the post do you think? It's quite alarming and we're all so glad to know that is not what you have had!

So lovely to see your update, sending prayers for your continuing recovery x

I just wanted to say I’m really sorry to hear your news

Have you moved hospital as this definitely isn’t the view from The Royal Free!

I recognise the blinds.

Possibly OP might not want people to know the name of the hospital but there is one with that view.

Yes, it’s the Royal London in Whitechapel. But I though op said she was at The royal free which is in Hampstead. Maybe just confused!

Is that a joke?

There’s me giving tips about the Free in Hampstead 😀😀 Anyway it doesn’t matter as long as the care is good .

As long as op knows where she is!

Speedy recovery op

Never underestimate the power of feeling clean! Love and speedy recovery OP. X

Oh, wow, just caught up after a few days. You're doing fantastically well and I'm so impressed by your fortitude. Sending all good wishes for your recovery.

That's so good to hear you can shower.
I hope you eat real food soon.

Nothing quite like a shower to make you feel much more human. Knickers or not, I bet you feel much better for it. I know the gloop you refer to is utter rubbish. Soon you will be having real stuff.