Likely pancreatic cancer. How do I tell my mum that I'm probably dying from the same thing that killed my father?

[Earlandmrsgrey]

As the title says. Been suffering with bowel problems/pain for sixth months. GP decides it must be IBS as bloods are fine, it's not coeliac disease and multiple fit test are negative. I'm not sure and carry on in more and more pain until I eventually feel a lump just under my ribs on the left. Have to wait ages to see another GP but he has a feel and sends a referral straight off for an urgent ultrasound. Ultrasound results show hydronephrosis of the left kidney with a possible tumour and more worrying of all is a mass in the tail of the pancreas.

I've not seen anyone else yet so still early on in the diagnosis but I know it's not good. I've been feeling more and more lethargic, I'm in more and more pain, my back is agony and I'm losing so much weight.

Fifteen years ago my beloved father had the same symptoms, he knew he was dying months before diagnosis and I was the only one who believed him. Eventually he got the diagnosis and lived for another fifteen days. I think I have longer than that as I'm still functioning fairly well but I know the outlook will be poor.

How do I tell my mother? I spoke to her a few weeks ago saying that I was unwell. All she could say was "please don't let it be the pancreas." I just want to protect her, that's who I am. Always the one to look out for others before herself. Then there is my husband who is not one to cope and then my young adult sons.

So sad.

Woke feeling ok this morning but then had to drink my high calorie gloop (300 calories in 125ml). They taste so vile and are the kind of drinks you warn your teenage boys not to have for fear of gut rot. Anyway, it sat in my stomach for hours which meant I wasn't actually able to eat. Bit of a set back that lasted until early afternoon.

Docs came round and checked on everything. Inflammation markers are coming down nicely. Wound is clean and stoma is working nicely (liquid only at the mo). They also said that I could finally shower!!!

In order to shower the wound dressings needed to be changed and covered. I was seriously brave and caught a glimpse of about 637 staples....I'm going full on Steam Punk. Which will go marvelously with the corset that I will soon be fitted for.

Shower was incredible but had to make the unenviable decision of whether to wash my curly hair without conditioner or not. I am now a squeaky clean puff ball!!!

DH is on his way over to visit. He somehow managed to take all my knickers home along with the aforementioned conditioner whilst I was in HDU.

Shower and knickers. What a day!!!

Rooting for you @Earlandmrsgrey !

Hope you’re not in too much discomfort post-op. I remember the amazing first post-op shower; possibly the longest shower ever 😁

Steam punk. Love it

I remember the first bath after childbirth- blood around my toenails 🤣. It was the first time I’d seen my toes in a while, too!

@Earlandmrsgrey would it help to drink the gloop more slowly? Over the course of the day? Or to eat real food first followed by gloop?

I have no idea of the medical needs, of course.

Omg @Earlandmrsgrey you're an absolute marvel. Soooo much love to you ❤️

Rooting so hard for you. Quick recovery

Great update OP. And what a view of London!

Great news, OP. Thinking of you.

I hope you’re not trusting him to bring more knickers in. I once had a patient (icu nurse here) at the same level of recovery as you seem to be, finally allowed her long awaited shower and to wear her own pjs and pants. Her hubby brought some stuff up, while helping her get dressed and rummaging through her bag looking for pants, he had clearly thrown in the first pair he found which happened to be a pair of Ann summers lacy crotchless pants!! While tbf they may have been handy with the catheter, they were hardly appropriate for the occasion so I discreetly pretended that I couldn’t find any pants and he must have forgot them 😂. Glad you’re on the mend OP, you’re doing amazing.

I'm so pleased to see an update from you, I have been concerned about you and although the road ahead is long, one step at a time will get you there. I assume the loop is fortisip ,my daughter has that but it goes down her feeding tube, I've tried it, I'm fit and well, it's disgusting , but full of nutrients, if you can manage a sip here and there it all helps. I'm happy you had your shower and can fully sympathise with the puff ball look, sending love and healing vibes to you x

Very glad to hear that you are doing so well! Hope that you have the easiest recovery possible and that you can go home soon! Love your fabulous view!

Glad to see an update OP, you're doing amazingly.

Jeez, what a lot to go through, wishing you the best showers and good wishes for the recuperation x x x everything crossed

Lovely to hear your updates now that you’re a Gary-free zone @Earlandmrsgrey

The surgery sounds brutal but all being well you’ll feel a little better and stronger every day.

Fingers crossed DS is back with some favourite pants soon. xx

I’ve been lurking but wanted to say that the humour shining through is lovely to hear. Best of luck and here’s to a swift as possible recovery.

Great to hear you well enough to enjoy knickers and humour. Take it easy - such a big op to heal from x

oh OP I am so glad to hear you’re feeling a bit better!!

Are you up on the private ward now? I love thst view from the Free I work there sometimes and I’m often a patient! Bloody cancer. I can’t fault them tbh. I’m so glad you’ve managed to get a shower it makes such a difference. For the days you can’t be bothered i recommend those Fresh Wipes I ve got through packets of the things. Remember you can buy most things in the shops downstairs or there’s a big M and S next door. If your husband needs to eat there’s a cracking restaurant on the lower ground floor for him.

I am so sorry to read your post. My thoughts are with you. Please keep posting and letting us know how you are.

Lovely to be able to shower again. Hope they are soon able to give you an idea of when you can go home, nothing like your own bed. Obviously depends on recovery so keep trying with the gloop. I wonder if chilling it might make it less unbearable.

You must feel like you have been run over by a bus again and again. Well done. Take all the drugs.

Came across your posts just now - wow, you have had quite the time recently. I hope you are comfortable and that your recovery will go smoothly. The usually small things like hot showers and comfy pants are heaven at times like this. You sound like an amazing lady and I am manifesting a full and smooth recovery for you, sending all best wishes and a big hug x

Thinking of you OP 💐

So pleased to get your update that you are doing so well. Onward and upward! Stay strong and keep your amazing sense of humour. x

I have to say what an amazing woman you are. Delighted that you are doing so well on your road to recovery. Loving your sense of humour.