Likely pancreatic cancer. How do I tell my mum that I'm probably dying from the same thing that killed my father?

[Earlandmrsgrey]

As the title says. Been suffering with bowel problems/pain for sixth months. GP decides it must be IBS as bloods are fine, it's not coeliac disease and multiple fit test are negative. I'm not sure and carry on in more and more pain until I eventually feel a lump just under my ribs on the left. Have to wait ages to see another GP but he has a feel and sends a referral straight off for an urgent ultrasound. Ultrasound results show hydronephrosis of the left kidney with a possible tumour and more worrying of all is a mass in the tail of the pancreas.

I've not seen anyone else yet so still early on in the diagnosis but I know it's not good. I've been feeling more and more lethargic, I'm in more and more pain, my back is agony and I'm losing so much weight.

Fifteen years ago my beloved father had the same symptoms, he knew he was dying months before diagnosis and I was the only one who believed him. Eventually he got the diagnosis and lived for another fifteen days. I think I have longer than that as I'm still functioning fairly well but I know the outlook will be poor.

How do I tell my mother? I spoke to her a few weeks ago saying that I was unwell. All she could say was "please don't let it be the pancreas." I just want to protect her, that's who I am. Always the one to look out for others before herself. Then there is my husband who is not one to cope and then my young adult sons.

So sad.

Wishing you a smooth and restful recovery. I know hospitals are noisy places recommend noise cancelling headphones. Even if i dont listen to anything just nice to dull out all the noises sometimes.

So happy to hear from you.... Thought about you a lot, considering you're a complete stranger lol.
Good luck for a smoother recovery from now... Keep in touch

Oh God you poor thing! It's impossible to imagine surgical aftermath until you are in it, which is probably just as well. Hope every day is a step in the right direction. Have been thinking about you, nearly dropped my phone when I got an email telling me you had updated so thank you so much for finding the energy to do that.

@Earlandmrsgrey So glad you're back, sending healing vibes and best wishes for your continued recovery 💐

Welcome Back!!!!!!!!!
You have been in my thoughts.
Rest well 💐

So glad that you have this big step behind you. I hope that you are feeling much better very soon.

I just wanted to send you lots of get well wishes. Also I read you have private health care check your policies you may have cancer cash back benefits. My husband is going through stomach cancer and we’ve got quite a bit back and it’s help with all the extra travel and reduced hours working. Good luck op xx

Glad you are out the other side of what sounds like a wild ride. Hoping things settle down and you will soon be up and about!

Hi, Op, I’m imagining you’ve had something similar in scale, if not a step up, to a whipples?

I had a whipples 8 years ago - it’s a really, really rough recovery so take it slow and don’t rush to get out of hospital. I remember those days shortly following surgery but I promise it picks up - be kind to yourself but listen to the physiotherapists, I couldn’t be arsed for the first few days but once I listened and done a bit more, I felt like my body started to recover better.

sending you lots of love!

Sounds like you’ve had a very rough trot there, @Earlandmrsgrey. Well done for fighting through that nightmare. Wishing you a much smoother recovery. X

Good to hear the update @Earlandmrsgrey . Rest up!

Im wishing you the best of luck and hope you make a full recovery. I know you don't want to worry your mum but I think she would want to know so she can be there for you. I know I was there for my daughter as hard as it was.

Oy OP! You made me snort tea all over my white, just changed bed linen!! The 'haunting' bit, not the recovery bit. I've been checking up often hoping to hear from you. I'm glad you've 'made it'.
One day at a time I'm sure you know. I'm sending gentle hugs through the internet. I truly hope you continue to improve and get well soon.

You sound amazing - so brave and thinking only of others. Sending every best wish to you and your family.

Your courage is inspirational and humbling. Fight on lovely lady ❤️🙏🏼

Great to hear from you. Been hovering and waiting for news x

Glad to see you back, sorry you've been feeling so rubbish! Hope you don't have to spend much more time in hospital and they let you home soon to recover there!

Great to hear that you’re in the other side of surgery! Rest and recover now!

Wishing you well on your journey OP

Oh good Lord you've just made my day OP. Been hoping and praying for your safe return. Bravo you wonderful lady you have certainly put life into perspective alright. Good riddance to Gary now in the far side of fuck! Sending love and gentle hugs for the best recovery. x

Been thinking of you, OP. It’s good to hear from you. Hope you feel more comfortable soon. 💐

Have been thinking about you. What a brave person you are to share this awful situation and the lead up to and your operation. If one other person reads this and can take something away that helps them in any way you will have done more in this post than you will ever know. Rest please hospitals are annoyingly difficult to rest in but try. Take care and know so many of us just are rooting for you. I hope you don’t mind but I said a prayer for you. I hope it doesn’t offend you. Xxx

Sorry not that it’s your job to help anyone when I said you will have done more to help anyone - just that you sharing what is such a horrible horrible disease/ situation - your words are powerful and having seen what cancer and these types of cancers do I am in awe that you can find the energy to post

So glad to hear from uou. Hope the recovery goes well.

Sending you all the very best healing wishes in the world for a peaceful and sound recovery over the coming months.