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Original poster

What do you do about errr ....<coughs> sex when camping?

121 replies

notanumber · 14/08/2009 21:07

I have to say I found it a bit inhibiting.

Toddler asleep a few metres away, but that wasn't really the biggest issue.

I couldn't really get rid of the knowldge that there were loads of people sitting around their tents and the only thing dividing them from our bonking was a bit of nylon.

Very paranoid about making any noise and then it was a bit of a faff errr... clearing up afterwards....

Do you all go at it like randy teenagers under canvas or was I not alone in mostly chastely reading a chapter of my book of a night-time?

OP posts:
rasputin · 16/08/2009 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Paolosgirl · 16/08/2009 20:41

Not when there are 3 kids looking at you and the rain going "We're borrrrrrrred" there ain't

bookswapper · 16/08/2009 21:03

try it..it fucking in-tents

sorry

leaves thread

bethylou · 16/08/2009 21:08

DH and I had our first 'romantic' encounter in a tent in the Malverns a few years ago (with the man who later became our best man in the next tent - hoping that as it didn't come up in his speech that we were perhaps more discreet than most of you seem to think possible). Currently planning our first tent outing with our 16 month old DS so am very amused by all of the above tips and comments. Meanwhile, am now trying to persuade DH to gently question the best man to see if we can get away with it again or not!

bethylou · 16/08/2009 21:09

p.s. Upon refrlection, I'm thinking the massive thunder storm that was happening at the time perhaps saved our blushes?! Would normally wish for sun when camping, but now changing my mind!

bethylou · 16/08/2009 21:10

p.s. Upon reflection, I'm thinking the massive thunder storm that was happening at the time perhaps saved our blushes?! Would normally wish for sun when camping, but now changing my mind!

bethylou · 16/08/2009 21:12

p.p.s. but would not save my blushes about correctinbg a spelling error and posting twice...

Original poster
notanumber · 16/08/2009 21:52

I had wanted you all to say, "Nah, no-one hears anything, modern tents are made from a special lightweight lead compound that blocks bonking noises. G'wan, get humping, hooray for camping sex" But you only confirmed what I already knew, damn you.

This no sex business is the single biggest problem with camping.

Half the point of going on holiday is so you can shag. Most of the time we're too busy MNing working or doing domestic stuff or checking to see if the alarm clock is set etc.

I want to get it on with DH when we're camping. We're all relaxed and holidayey and a bit tipsey. Perfect bunk-up scenario.

But the enforced silence, the ruddy airbed, the seepage, the walk of shame to the loo block afterwards...gah.

OP posts:
rasputin · 16/08/2009 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheOnlyDailyMaleForMeisDH · 16/08/2009 23:06

Rasputin - the camper van is not the solution. Ex-DH and I went on our honeymoon in one and at one campsite we were on a slight slope when we started and the handbreak failed. You have no idea how funny people find the idea of two newlyweds going at it so enthusiastically they jolt the handbreak off and cascade down the hill towards the sea, only being stopped by a bank of wheelie bins

ClaireDeLoon · 16/08/2009 23:09

I clicked on this thread thinking that it would be the people we camped next to complaining about us....................

We were being very very very quiet.

MinkyBorage · 16/08/2009 23:16

ds conceived in a tent, separated by canvas from dd1 and 2

masonicpixiesreadthedailymail · 16/08/2009 23:20

spotted dh's first grey pube in a tent

must have been the moonlight. It glistened

oneopinionatedmother · 16/08/2009 23:22

@theonlydailymale

PMSL

DH blackly amused as i never give him any when we camp now.

my sister was legendarily conceived in a fiat 500 whilst my folks were campin gin Wales.

@bookswapper >tee-hee<

hands you your coat

BarnMummy · 16/08/2009 23:27

Before children, DH and I used to do self drive trips in Africa with two school friends of mine. We had very comfortable roof tents on top of two 4WD vehicles, which we would park close together to create shade / windbreak etc.

I think hope that we were quiet enough for them not to hear anything (and anything they might have heard could reasonably have been a hippo / lion / name-any-other-wild-animal!) They carried on with the joint hols until we had kids so at least it can't have been that bad.

I do agree with whoever said you must have tissues / loo roll or whatever immediately to hand for clean ups. There is no way you are going to be prowling around in the African night, even if your campsite has a shower block!

Belgianchocolates · 16/08/2009 23:34

We had plenty of sex in tents in our lives. That reminds me. My SIL borrowed our tent + airbed and only after I gave it to her I remembered that the bed had a suspicious stain on it .

gigglewitch · 17/08/2009 00:02

pmswl, this thread is fantastic

But I'm saying nothing

baiyu · 17/08/2009 01:31

We had a peeping Tom at a campsite in Morocco, yeuch! He failed as he got totally illuminated by a security light AND he was the secrity guard!
But it also happened to us in a hotel on top of a mountain in China so maybe that's just my bad luck!

NormaSknockers · 17/08/2009 07:56

Me & DH had sex in the tent in the back garden once - clearly I was not as quiet as I thought as I had been judging by the comments my neighbour made the next day

BalloonSlayer · 17/08/2009 08:15

"anything they might have heard could reasonably have been a hippo / lion / name-any-other-wild-animal!"

  • oh what a wild and rapacious sex life some people have, Barnmummy

If it was us it would be "we were in a field in Dorset. Anything they might have heard could resonably have been a squirrel nibbling nuts or a rat disappearing up a nearby drainpipe."

dollyparting · 17/08/2009 10:33

Camping in an isolated spot, in the sunshine, overlooking the sea. Half in / half out of the tent (semi-alfresco). Mmmm.. brings back memories

Have also done it in a small yacht, sharing with 2 other couples (bit like a caravan on the sea). Very, very quiet, very, very slowly, aided by the gentle rocking of the boat - all rather tantric. No orgasmic yelling, just a shuddering sigh. Pretty sure we got away with it - till the owner of the boat (on final clearing up) handed dp the torn off portion of a condom wrapper...

Eve4Walle · 17/08/2009 10:52

Never mind the tent, DH and I only managed it twice in 2 weeks on holiday in Egypt recently. Baby in cot next to my side of bed and DD in a rollaway bed next to DH did not make for lovin'.

Too scared DD would wake up and we just couldn't relax so we gave up in the end.

oneopinionatedmother · 17/08/2009 12:32

vwe were in a field in Dorset. Anything they might have heard could resonably have been a squirrel nibbling nuts or a rat disappearing up a nearby drainpipe

our tent was under the flight path for Bournemouth airport - if we'd timed it right the 7.45 plane could have covered a multidue of sins.

the only thing they'd have heard from me in actual fact is swearing when i got my hair caught in the zips for umpeenth sodding time...

@eve4 - rminds me of my wdding night - our one year old yelled her head of non-stop and when i got her in her cot asleep finally, my husband was deeply asleep...

oneopinionatedmother · 17/08/2009 12:35

@baiyu - my brothers x-girlfriend insisted on getting it on with him on a chinese bus....it was the only part of the trip they weren't stared at.

woollyjo · 17/08/2009 16:18

Before we got married DH and I lived about 3 hours drive apart so we would meet somewhere central, camp, rock climb(as was our want) and shag - lots but very very quietly.

It is fantastic training for when you have visitors or kids.

Having been kept awake by monster snoring coming from other tents, hearing the odd bit of shagging doesn't bother me, at least it doesn't go on that long.