AIBU Toilet

[SophieD1987]

Hi everyone,

I am going camping for the first time with my husband and 5-year-old at a family festival with friends. We have bought a huge six-man tent which I’m really excited about as I used to struggle when camping with the lack of space.

But I have been camping many times before as a teenager and the toilets and showers were always so grim.

The thing I have always hated is needing the loo in the night and having to trek to loos in the dark. I always found I would wake up and not be able to get back to sleep after going to the loo /psychologically would always be needing the loo during the night.

Because of this I suggested a chemical toilet to my husband and he said that was disgusting even though I said I’d manage the cleaning and disposal of it and only wee in it during the night.

So I suggested a camping toilet using toilet bags instead and even suggested a separate ‘toilet tent’.

Again he has said no because it is too disgusting apparently.

My final suggestion has been to suggest I get a disposable Shewee type thing (basically lots of cardboard Shewees that you put in the bin after use) and a toilet bag that you wee into that turns it into a gel that you can then put into a bin.

Hubby still says no because what happens if I miss the bag and he apparently thinks it’s gross to be weeing while in the tent 🤪.

AIBU to be annoyed by my husband’s attitude to this?

Yes he's being ridiculous. Do what you need to. He doesn't need to police your toileting and if it becomes an issue I simply wouldn't go camping with him.

I doubt most festivals will have chemical toilet disposal. I’m with your DH, can’t you just try and camp near the toilets. Most festivals I’ve been to; the toilets have been fine

Why does he have the final say? You are the one needing the toilet, so do what you think is best. You aren't asking him to do anything, so it has nothing to do with him.

It's actually nothing to do with him. We just used to have a wee bucket in the porch. Just do what you need to do.

I’m no longer suggesting a chemical toilet. Suggesting a shewee & bag that turns your wee into gel. Also we don’t get a say in where our camp area is - the festival decide that for us so no say in how close we are to the communal loos.

He doesn't get to say no. It's not up to him to decide what you need or don't need. I say buy the shewee thing or just take a potty. When my kids were younger I used a potty if necessary in the night and just go out and tip it by a tree or whatever. He can't physically stop you using it or make you go to the toilets. If he's really going to be an arse about it then say either you're not going unless you have a solution you're comfortable with, or he shouldn't come if he's going to whinge about your solution.

He's being a controlling twat here, just buy the shewee things and toilet bags and tell him to sleep in a different tent if he doesn't like it.

This really isn't reasonable from him to another adult.

I would think it's reasonable that he has a say about whether someone wees inside the tent where he's sleeping, but not whether you nip out to wee in one of these things with the gel just behind the tent? Or inside a toilet tent? I'm definitely with you @SophieD1987 that if I had to get dressed enough to trek to some loos in the dark (even if not disgusting) I'd be too awake by the time I got back to the tent.

What’s wrong with a lidded bucket, strong bin bag & some cat litter? 😆
We always had one in the side porch of our tent, for late night wees only, especially when the kids were little.

Bonus points if you quote the League of Gentlemen toilet poem whilst using it ;)

The entire toilet situation is what makes me loathe camping. We used to go with a big group when our kids were small, and I was so phobic about the toilet blocks (in which 90% of the loos would have a turd - and this was an utterly posho resort 🥴), or having to go in the night (which I NEVER do at home), I’d practically be in retention.

A shewee sounds like a really good idea if you can bear it, and it’s none of your husband’s business.

Nothing to do with him. Just do what works for you. We took a potty with us that we used and I would carry it to the toilets at 6am to empty it and clean.

It’s not up to him!

Put your foot down and order a pop up toilet tent from Amazon and a toilet with bags. Pitch it behind your tent. He doesn’t need to have anything to do with it.

He is being a total arse.

I noticed in Aldi last week they had what they described as camping toilets. It was a slightly lower than average toilet pan with seat and lid. The inner “potty” was designed to be lifted out for emptying and it had a lid and carry handle.

Stop asking his permission and just sort something out. Don't discuss it with him. Just use it when you need it.

He is being ridiculous.

Bucket with lid. Pedal bin liner. Wood pellet cat litter.
Tip down the toilets if they are compost or long drop, or put in bin liner in rubbish.

This is similar to the one I saw in Aldi. £16.99 on Amazon

We still have a "my carry potty" specifically for night time wees when camping. The youngest is now 8 so we don't actually need it but it is an essential for camping. Especially when you still have a young kid! It can be surreptitious enough for a bloke to take a wee near a tent (keep in mind at festivals you'll be packed close together) but for women and shy kids that trip to the loos in the dark/cold/possibly waiting in a queue will be a nightmare!

Just wee outside the tent with no accessories and don't tell your hubby. Or on his hand seeing as he has such a strong opinion

This thread, right here, is why Hell will freeze over before I go camping..

I use a lidded bucket lined with a bin liner and a commode pad for camping loo emergencies. The commode pads contain the same gel as the loo bags but work out much cheaper, you can buy them on amazon. You have a huge tent for three people - can you designate one of the bedroom pods as an en-suite?
If you are going to go with the shewee option I would recommend lots of practice in the shower before you go, there is a very definite knack to using one (that I sadly haven't mastered reliably!)

I have a normal shewee with an extension pipe. I used to just piss is a big bottle in the porch of the tent. If blokes can do it so can I 😂

One of these. Ignore him.

We have the Amazon one, it's very big but it's worth having. We keep it in the porch for night time wees and empty it in the morning.
I did turn my nose up at it at first, but it's brilliant, especially with DC. It's sturdy enough so doesn't get knocked over.

As long as you can dispose of it, a chemical toilet is perfectly civilised!

we have a campervan and have a toilet tent either in the awning or just outside the van.
Really discreet and an absolute necessity with kids!

We just have a couple of buckets for overnight and empty in the morning. He sounds weirdly controlling.