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Original poster

AIBU Toilet

56 replies

SophieD1987 · 02/07/2023 21:59

Hi everyone,

I am going camping for the first time with my husband and 5-year-old at a family festival with friends. We have bought a huge six-man tent which I’m really excited about as I used to struggle when camping with the lack of space.

But I have been camping many times before as a teenager and the toilets and showers were always so grim.

The thing I have always hated is needing the loo in the night and having to trek to loos in the dark. I always found I would wake up and not be able to get back to sleep after going to the loo /psychologically would always be needing the loo during the night.

Because of this I suggested a chemical toilet to my husband and he said that was disgusting even though I said I’d manage the cleaning and disposal of it and only wee in it during the night.

So I suggested a camping toilet using toilet bags instead and even suggested a separate ‘toilet tent’.

Again he has said no because it is too disgusting apparently.

My final suggestion has been to suggest I get a disposable Shewee type thing (basically lots of cardboard Shewees that you put in the bin after use) and a toilet bag that you wee into that turns it into a gel that you can then put into a bin.

Hubby still says no because what happens if I miss the bag and he apparently thinks it’s gross to be weeing while in the tent 🤪.

AIBU to be annoyed by my husband’s attitude to this?

OP posts:
TwoFourSixEightNeverTooLate · 02/07/2023 22:42

mondaytosunday · 02/07/2023 22:03

Why does he have the final say? You are the one needing the toilet, so do what you think is best. You aren't asking him to do anything, so it has nothing to do with him.

She’s asking him to accept her taking a piss in the tent.
I’d not be happy with my DH doing that tbf. I’m not a fan of traipsing to the toilets at 3am myself, but I wouldn’t squat in the corner of our tent just to avoid the walk.

Devonshiregal · 02/07/2023 22:43

Absolutely know the solution to this! just bring some nappies, like large kids nappies. Just shove down your pants, pee, pop in nappy bag and you’re done! He won’t even have to know

DisappointingAvocado · 02/07/2023 22:47

The gel bags are great, your husband is weird.

itsapalaver · 02/07/2023 22:47

Jeez, just get what you want. Who put him in charge?

gogomoto · 02/07/2023 22:48

I think you need to consider the festival situation, they may not be able to dispose of your special gel, you would have to store and take home. Also most festivals have maximum tent size, as do most sites (you had to pay an extra charge for large tents which essentially take up 2 spaces. Going to the loo across a field is all part of the package at festivals, it's rough and ready. I'm with your db, I wouldn't want someone weeing in the tent, ick

wildfirewonder · 02/07/2023 22:55

The gel can go in regular rubbish @gogomoto

RocketIceLollie · 02/07/2023 23:01

If it's a small festival, not a Glastonbury or Reading size festival then I'd probably take my chances with the portaloos. Going toilet in a bag or having to empty a camp toilet sounds too grim for my delicate stomach. Honestly, the smaller festivals toilets are usually really not nowhere near as bad as the bigger festivals.

CC4712 · 02/07/2023 23:03

If its a size person tent- is it 2 living areas? Having the bedding in 1 area and a potty in the other.

Do you always get up for a wee in the middle of the night or is this a new thing? If the latter- get it checked because there might be help available if its UTI/prolapse related.

travailtotravel · 02/07/2023 23:04

The gel things. Put a towel down and take your jammie bottoms off before you use it. Or practice at home first. We're just back from camping, it's the only time I have to wee in the night! Dh has a bottle specifically for his man wee requirements.

CaffineChaos · 02/07/2023 23:04

I'd be buying the sheewee and telling sh he doesn't get to say no to how I choose to piss in the night.

I don't feel safe traipsing to the toilets on my own in middle of night or early hours of morning after a bad experience in family campsite toilets when I was early 20s. I wouldn't be going camping with my dh if he thought he gets to dictate to me like that.

Hawkins0001 · 02/07/2023 23:08

What if the tent is near some woods?

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 02/07/2023 23:10

You are going to use the toilet inches from your husband in an enclosed tent? How romantic. (Boak!)

He's trying to tell you something. Just walk to the campground toilets.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 02/07/2023 23:12

cravingmilkshake · 02/07/2023 22:12

Nothing to do with him. Just do what works for you. We took a potty with us that we used and I would carry it to the toilets at 6am to empty it and clean.

No wonder people lose sexual attraction for their mates.

Honestly, it's possible to go to far on the "let it all hang out" spectrum.

Piss in private.

inloveandmarried · 02/07/2023 23:15

Get a proper sheewee not a disposable.

They fit well and are so easy to use and as hygienic as a man using a bottle.

Take a large washed out milk container with a tight lid and a opaque plastic bag for disposing of contents into the proper toilet in the morning. I use antibacterial wipes for the Sheewee and wet wipes for me to keep things clean and dispose of those properly the following morning.

Since having children I couldn't manage without one when camping.

Hawkins0001 · 02/07/2023 23:17

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 02/07/2023 23:10

You are going to use the toilet inches from your husband in an enclosed tent? How romantic. (Boak!)

He's trying to tell you something. Just walk to the campground toilets.

Yes the husband is, that he's a prude and a pickle

LadyWiddiothethird · 02/07/2023 23:23

If you have a separate compartment you can have an en-suite,that is what I used to do,porta loo,rug,hand gel,no way would I be told how I was going to pee by anyone.Especially not a man.

EggInANest · 02/07/2023 23:26

I don’t get the shock horror of having a wee in a tent the other side of a zipped wall from a partner with whom you:
Have a wee in close proximity at home… the other side of a mere bathroom door
May have been in the same room during childbirth
May have witnessed having an all too common man wee up against a tree on a long walk etc
Have parented kids who have needed nappies changing and then storing indoors until disposal
Might walk a much loved family dog whose shit you pick up with your hand in a dog poo bag.

And you consider a well managed in-tent camping solution worse than a festival toilet used by several thousand people?

Alwayswonderedwhy · 02/07/2023 23:30

Why do you need your husband's permission?

We have a toilet in our tent to use at night. It's basically a big bucket with a seat. Stick a thick black bag in it and sawdust to absorb the wee then just chuck it in the bin in the morning.

If you've got a six man tent you can use one of the bedrooms as the toilet room.

Grimchmas · 02/07/2023 23:34

He's a man, he doesn't have a clue about ladies bladders.

I'd say it was quite simple. I'm going to need to pee in the middle of the night. I won't make it to the toilets without having an accident. Pissing in the tent is less gross than having to deal with piss soaked clothes while camping in the middle on the night.
You know those tall tupperwares meant for cereal? They are the ideal shape for a women's pee receptacle! Lid on, dispose of in the morning, either into cat litter then bin, down toilet or into one of those bags that turn it into gel you described.

User1438423 · 02/07/2023 23:47

Point out that if you don't have a toilet option in the tent, then you'll always have to go back to the tent together, even if one wants to stay out later than the other, as you can't leave the kids alone when they are asleep if the toilets are far away.

I also just send to disagree with those that say a My Carry Potty or a She Wee is a good solution. I have had a camping night wee disaster with both those things. The person who suggested the cereal tupperware is a genius. A compost caddy liner and some wood pellet cat litter (Asda sell it) would be a great solution.

Personally I just walk to the camp toilets with a head torch. I hate it, but our tent doesn't have rooms and I wouldn't add a toilet area without a divider. I wouldn't want to hear DH piss in one either tbf, so I can kind of see where your DH is coming from, but I can see both sides.

justanothermummma · 02/07/2023 23:51

I'd just do a nature wee if needed, although initially I'd despise the idea!

Just do what works for you, if that means a chemical toilet, do it regardless of DH! It's easier for males to pee when camping, so he won't get that side of things I imagine.

If it's the 'other' maybe late night loo visits are best.

Good luck OP!!

llangennith · 03/07/2023 00:05

HotelNotPortofino · 02/07/2023 22:08

What’s wrong with a lidded bucket, strong bin bag & some cat litter? 😆
We always had one in the side porch of our tent, for late night wees only, especially when the kids were little.

Bonus points if you quote the League of Gentlemen toilet poem whilst using it ;)

Always used this version of a camping toilet. Your husband is being entirely selfish and unreasonable. You sort out whatever toilet arrangements you feel happy with and tell him to lump it.

cravingmilkshake · 03/07/2023 02:57

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune

cravingmilkshake
Nothing to do with him. Just do what works for you. We took a potty with us that we used and I would carry it to the toilets at 6am to empty it and clean.

No wonder people lose sexual attraction for their mates.

Honestly, it's possible to go to far on the "let it all hang out" spectrum.

Piss in private.

😂😂😂😂 behave.....I don't say "husband, I'm just going for a piss, would you like to come outside the tent and ogle me like an owl whilst I piss"

He is not watching us, (me or the children) and we are all comfortable.

You're a piss prude.

Maddy70 · 03/07/2023 03:37

Get a porta potty and either a toilet tent or use one of the compartments /bedrooms I'm the tent. He's being ridiculous. You don't need his permission!

WandaWonder · 03/07/2023 03:42

Will there places to empty all these suggestions?

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