Around the Cadac with bunting, tealight chandeliers and fairylights on the EHU

[notwavingjustironing]

Gawd, the minimalists will kill us.....

It was Someone Else's idea, all right?

Carry on where you left off, be it owls, bins, sharks, tins of vodka, karaoke etc. [grain]

You only need to start worrying if you hear cheeping from underneath blobby hatching a hail of ping pong balls.

Wondering if blubby has crossbred with a Thai fighting chicken.

Bloody hell I love you lot! Had a really really busy day and feeling a bit sorry for myself (for no reason other than being a bit self indulgent - give me a slap) and I open this thread and piss myself.

Where do I start?

'So...the campers on this thread are mostly happily married winos who pop out redheaded boys and can whip up bunting from old underwear in a Blue Peter stylee at a moments notice yet who orgasm at the thought of an axe'

'I don't know where to start! A live birth thread, slubber's amazing campsite or a bit of Skoda love?'

'Thank God you're here Losty! I had the feeling that I was talking to myself and the Eurovision voting panel, who clearly had a satellite delay and couldn't hear what I was saying, hence the repetition.'

'Heavens, slubberrs turned into Maria Von slubber and taken to the nunnery'

'I love the idea of an egg cheeping at me (well as long as it's not one I bought from Tesco for baking with.)'

'You only need to start worrying if you hear cheeping from underneath blobby hatching a hail of ping pong balls.'

Yes we probably are a bit of a niche lot aren't we - don't fancy explaining to too many people just what was so funny about that lot! For what its worth my boys are not ginger (one blonde and one light brown) and I probably am slightly less excited about an axe than that (fake orgasm maybe) but I certainly orgasm at the thought of an iceytek and cobb which probably makes me fit in here I should think!

Have a tena lady yd. Yes, it's better unsaid, just like my very strange work dream last night which was v odd and with other characters would be worrying, but given that it was work colleagues and I woke up feeling not judged by them was fine and reminds me how much I love my job!

There is a lot more cheeping. No ping pong balls yet. The Others are pressed against their run fence quiet and staring at the broody house as they Know that Something is going on. It is evocative of the starving masses staring at one of Marie antoinettes balls (not ping pong though, they got caught up in her dress and Louis never quite got over the velocity). Except these are zombie chicken masses and they Know.

Do we have a zombie chicken plan? Slubbers got the best axe with her. Quivers (not fake)

I love a good live hatching thread makes me all broody. A garden big enough for chickens is on our priorty list for new house!

Go chicks, go!!

Ooh zombie chicken plan you say I should think a mirror And some grain would distract them for long enough to run?

Yes. Because if you distract them with grain they forget what they were doing before. Honest.

they also get stupidly intense with their reflection, especially zombie cockerels

Yellow, I'm with you. I burst out laughing on the train, like those mad people you sometimes see on the tube. Not the done thing. There were frowns and everything. It was Slubber finding her religion that pushed me over the edge, I was quietly sniggering before then. Then, once you start, there's no stopping - especially not with the rest of your contributions!

Loving the live hatching too. Please pretty please may we have pictures? At all stages for my entertainment so that I can show ds.

For a moment there I worried that I have always had Marie Antoinette's sex wrong, what with the whole "staring at one of Marie antoinettes balls" thing bramble had going there. Was a relief to see she was, well, a she. On being completely unaware of how deluded / stupid I was / am, I will confess: Until very late in life (uhm ok, 3 years ago) I thought Arkansas and "Arkansaw" were two different places. Oh, the shame. I'm really not completely stupid. No really.

Who votes that we stage a coup to oust Kate Humble and install Brambles at the winter palace BBC?

Depending on whether nursery at new school says yes tomorrow, we might be going to Hong Kong in 3 weeks. Well, dh for work, ds and I just for fun. His current - well, last as of 6pm - nursery wasn't fussed because they mainly just played, which was nice. New one more structured though, so dh and I feel like we're going back to school ourselves! Nervous wrecks, we are. I suspect wine would help, though possibly not during school drop-off. Permission for holidays will now need to be obtained from: 1) Dh boss, 2) my boss, 3) ds nursery, 4) bank manager. We're never ever going anywhere again, are we?? Keep your fingers crossed for me. I can go and explore the camping opportunities in Hong Kong, so purely for research properties.

Funtime, you can borrow my axe. You might need to fight dh for it, he's smitten. I'm taking great joy in saying "I told you so" as often as possible.

Funtime, I'll distract dh with dim sum and sneak you the axe. Loving the idea of hanging around idly whilst he slaves away [evil]. Well, hanging around as idly as allowed by a toddler, of course.

I'm dying to hear chick-updates. I've now moved on from photographs and demands a webcam. Failing that, at least hourly updates.

Mmmmmmmmmm, dim suuuuuuuuum

Bugger a webcam, I want a TV crew at her gate pronto!

oooh live bramblewatch - do you think she's had to get all hands on?

It must be a tad surreal listening to an egg cheep but then I always found my bump moving with a squirming ds rather surreal.

Brilliant line up - your summary was perfect yellow.

Slubber was getting rather evangelical there, must have been the ehu that did it.

Lost - exciting news on the new car. What are you getting? Our man at Skoda called me back tonight with the perfect car which we may be buying on Thursday!!!

Survived the first day with my new reception. They did ever so well. Bless them.

in celebration of new life, new cars, new classes (for childers and teachers)

Update: (whispers. Typing slowly so that you can hear the awe and slow narration)
Sheila sat tight and flat. She is booking quietly to the wobbling eggs which are cheeping to her and each other. A few of them have pipped and now the tiny bits of shell are starting to come off there.
Pauses.stares at camera with body bent over and head at 90 degrees. Ooh. I've come all over Attenborough.
Overnight the chicks will peck a circle all around their eggy home, stretch and break out of the egg. The warmth and moisture of sheilas mumsy chest will help them hatch.

I imagine I will be up early and those that Sheila hasn't helped out, I may have to. I will Hatch Them In My Hands.

Nothing much to see here until tomorrow folks, apart from a flat, purring White hen. Move along now. Please. And take the zombie hens with you they're starting to unnerve me.

Oh brilliant, DS1 just came in and said 'I can tell you have been laughing, you have a big smile, your cheeks are red and your eyes are all small and shiney!' he was right. I replied ,'Yes darling the mad ladies in my computer are very funny, now what the hell are you doing down here get back to bed' Ah mummy's love really wears off after 8pm.

anyone? What a brilliant afternoon on the thread. what an excellent toast.

Ooh I'm in a good mood all of a sudden, I've only just started on the so it can't be that. I'm very pleased with our new (ish) car, we have purchased a Skoda Octavia Scout, it is dark metallic grey and really rather sexy compared to my Multipla (not hard to be to be fair). And do you know why we got it? The boot is HUGE, lots of room for more camping stuff, no more minimalist across France, we can take a tealight chandelier if we want to (although prob not a giant metal chicken). Ooh, I may even stray into EHU...

Aww bramble, how beautiful.

And Scary, glad you're still with us after your first day!

on the new car purchases. Very exciting. Best of all: More boot space! We should really be buying a newer car soon, but I'm hoping to hang on for a bit first. I'm happy to waste money on lots of other things, but a bit stingy on car spend as we don't have a garage, so it has to be parked on the road. That and it would eat into my holidays fund, which we surely can't have. Am however planning on growing up one of these days, I promise.

Bramble-I hope you have a successful night's hatching! It sounds the sweetest thing :)

Night all!

See MisSal, if we have a lovely, go anywhere low mpg car with a huge boot we can have lots of really cheap holidays. See hotel room x 2 when you have three largeish children = £200 a night, camping in France £30 a night on average for all of us! Feeding them is about the same home or away so we might as well just camp! Although obviously the mileage to Hong Kong might be a bit steep (I'm beginning to see the flaw in this plan)

Sorry all have been out eating chicken steak and frites. Wine was taken.

Did James and Kate turn up?

Reading back, very amusing. Maria Von Slubber, lost on the pastures of the Tyrol, an EHU trailing forlornly in her wake, calling out for her lost chickens, whilst Bramble Herriot bravely wrangles Thai Fighting Cocks and gently nurtures new life.

It's what Hollywood dreams are made of.

Oh completely lost - we barely fit it and this is with only one toddler, so can see the need for more space. at how much hotel costs would work out, but camping much more fun anyway.

Am still working on Hong Kong masterplan. Due to distance, we'd all have to go for at least three months. Camping free, so UK accommodation to be rented out to fund plane ticket. Only ( ) snag in my plan is the work and school attendance issue. Small details.