I’m joining late here as I’ve only just seen this thread, and I’m at my wits end.
I weigh over 15 stone, and have put on over 3 stone since the 2nd lockdown (January 2021). This is the heaviest I’ve ever been, and I feel so dreadfully unhappy within.
I usually use the Summer holidays to do a massive reset, and eat more healthily and lose weight, but last Summer I gave up after only losing 2 pounds in the first 2 weeks despite going to the gym and eating super healthily. In previous years I’d done the some and lost 7-10 pounds in 2 weeks. I was determined to try my best this Summer, and managed to lose 7 pounds in my first 2 weeks again (triggered by a stomach bug mind!), but despite feeling happy about my weight loss, I just kept telling myself it was pointless as I have so much to lose and I have zero willpower, and so I gave up. This is despite feeling deeply unhappy with my appearance and poor levels of energy. My ideal goal is to lose 5 stone.
Every day or night I find myself having at least 1 glass of alcohol, but it’ll usually be 2 glasses - usually wine or a cocktail, and either a share size bag of crisps, or cheese and crisp breads. I just keep on buying them, it’s like a compulsion and I don’t know how to stop, as I feel desperate to consume them - they give me so much pleasure at the time. I see them as rewards for working hard at work in a very stressful role, and for getting my children to bed!
This morning I’ve really fucked up - I made a massive portion of truffle chips for my breakfast and washed them down with lemonade. I feel so ashamed, but vow to never eat like that at breakfast time again.
I feel I have an entitled kind of attitude to eat and drink as I like, even though I know I can’t if I ever want to feel happy again.
I really will try so hard to not eat any crisps today, and to either not have any alcohol, or at least reduce it to just the one glass.
I seriously need to go back to the gym that I’m still paying for too, and have bought myself new gym clothes, as none of my previous ones fitted anymore.
Good luck to you all.
I’m so pleased I found this thread.