Advice on school Fine

[TurtleBeGiddy]

Dear fellow Mumnetters,

I have 3 boys that go to 3 different schools. My eldest goes to a secondary school and the younger ones (Year 4, and Year 1) go to primary.

Morning drops are managed thanks to breakfast clubs. However, the pick-ups are extremely challenging, well maybe not too much but my Year 4 child's school has gone all pedantic on me. Ive been late, twice in 14 days and as a result theyve decided to fine me.

I metup with the headteacher but she was not giving an inch, citing how she pays her office staff by the hour and they have other commitments etc. She instead started to solutionise for me by prescribing my son more afternoon clubs. My child already had enough and I dont feel right to force him into more when he isnt interested. Anyway, bottom line is I am facing a dilemma. My eldest isnt much of an issue as I can probably find a solution but the other two are young. Depending on traffic I can be a maximum of 15 mins late but no more.

Im tempted to complain, but actually I just wanna cry. Simply because I expected better and more empathy and maybe even compassion but no, doesnt look like that's the case. Ive been stigmatised, made to feel like im doing wrong and fined.

I need advice, 1) Has anyone been in this situation with a primary school
2) what did you do?
3) had anyone ever complained and whats the chances of winning?
4) if i complain will I be victimised?

Honestly its been terrible because I dont mean any harm, but i dont know who to seek advice from. I feel ive just been targeted unfairly but I dont wanna damage what I thought was a good parent-school staff relationship.

Thanks in advance.

That must be tough. Is there a reason for the 2 youngest to be in separate schools?

She instead started to solutionise for me by prescribing my son more afternoon clubs. My child already had enough and I dont feel right to force him into more when he isnt interested.

So what's your solution?

Can your eldest get himself home from school? Is it an infant and junior school situation?
You can’t just be 15 minutes late once a week for picking up. Lots of parents are early for Primary pick ups, waiting for the bell to go.

If it was a one off I’m sure the head would be accommodating but they can’t just let this go on. Teachers are often in meetings once the children have gone or planning or sorting resources for the next day. Office staff/ business manager will be busy too.
It can’t be easy for your DS to keep having to wait.
If you don’t want him in clubs you need to get a friend, relative or childminder to pick your DC up.

If you can't make school pick up in time you will need to use after school club or a childminder. You can't expect the school staff to provide free childcare for you.

You’ll need to organise someone else to pick up if you can’t be there every day on time I’m afraid.

sorry.

How do you propose to manage it? Is it that you plan to be late daily? What solutions did you offer?

is putting the youngest two in the same school an option?

if not then either take up the after school club or organise a childminder/friend to help.

it is completely unreasonable to expect the staff to stay back after their finishing time. They also have family commitments to manage.

My dd works in a school. She does after school club two days for extra cash. But she needs to get away on time first of all because she’s not paid to be there after the club closes and second because she’s a cub leader one day and has to get home to get ready to get straight out again and the other day she has hockey training.

You can't just turn up late. You need to find a solution.

After school clubs sound like a sensible plan. If you can't guarantee getting there in time your son doing a planned after school activity gives you the extra time you need. What's the problem with that? It's better than you not being there on time.

I suppose it depends on the reasons they are in separate schools, distance etc.

I know most kids that do afterschool club in my DDs primary hang around for 15-20+ mins before being escorted the another local school where afterschool club is held, it’s not unusual for kids whose parents are late to sit with them. The schools always been very relaxed especially when it comes to helping families out. I do see frustration on teachers faces when the same parents are regularly late for pick up at the gate.

However, the school has a new HT well this is year 3 and a transfer to an academy last year and they have become very money oriented and less “parent friendly” which has driven a lot of movement out of the school. I can see a change in this area soon, I do think they will target the regular late comers and not care why they are late.

Can you not ask a friend to pick up your DS and take him home? If the friend lives locally and walks, by the time they are home you’ll pretty much be there surely.

You can’t be late as a regular thing. Not sure what you mean by "has anyone complained" – if the head says you need to be on time, that’s reasonable tbf.

I can't believe you're thinking of complaining because you're being fined for being late for pick up. School isn't childcare. Pay for childcare.

15 minutes late is unacceptable. Are you phoning in to say you are going to be late / are they phoning you ?

I guess you need to pay for your child to stay late at school i.e. after school club or a club i.e. football / chess / whatever is on offer.

Who are you expecting to provide childcare for you when you are late ? a teacher ? a TA / a member of the after school club ?

I see you say the head teacher mentioned office staff - are they not contracted to finish at 3 pm or when ever school ends ?

It's not just 'twice in 14 days' though OP - its only the third week back & the head is trying to stop it before it becomes a regular occurrence.

I'm sorry to join the chorus but if you can't be there at 3.15 or whenever then you will have to pay for childcare, even if it's only 15 minutes of after school club, this would surely take the pressure off too?

As everyone else has asked - why are they at separate schools? Is this short term while waiting for a place together?

They’ve offered you a solution because it needs a solution and you seem unable to come up with one under your own steam.
Being consistently late is not one of your options here.

I guess it always help to add some context.

Yes I was late twice in 14 days. The kids have only been to school 14 days this term. I am usually there on time but on occasions due to traffic end up getting late. Ive known the staff for 10+ years a regular to all parent assemblies and i genuinely was under the impression that I had a good relationship with them.

My youngest has been on a waiting list for this school for over a year. A good solution would be to put them in the same school. Unfortunately there is no space in the other school either. There are no school clubs in my youngest child's school - as bizarre as that may sound. The schools are not walking distance from each other and its traffic that has made me late twice over the last 14 days. I get it if I was consistently late, I do. Both primary schools finish at the same time so I can't physically be in 2 places at the same time either and unfortunately, in this case you do prioritise the younger child. It takes longer to travel the other way, I.e from my middle child's school to youngest.

However this is far from consistent. For me its the manner this was done, the second time I was late I got a fine a day later. Where is the warning? Where is there space to give the parent time to find a solution? Why cant they consider that these are irregular occurrences? Im not here to ask whether morally its wrong or right. I totally get the flip side, I get staff need to get home too, just suprised at it being an issue suddenly, no communication, no warning just slap bang fine.

I know it varies as some schools are more relaxed, but before a school starts to go all authotarian they need to 1) understand circumstances and 2) give parents time to find their own solution - one that actually works for them.

Unfortunately all my friends have kids in older school so i cant rely on them. Single parent here and no family either. I have since asked some parents in the same class as my child but received polite and understandable rejection. As for paying childcare for 15 mins on an rare basis at times seems excessive. Most especially when I dont know in terms of traffic when ill be late. As a single parent I struggle financially so im not sure if I can even afford childcare.

I will continue to reach out to other parents of course, I dont think I have a choice but i posted to see if anyone had experienced something similar and/or challenged the system?

Just catchment area unfortunately, I had to move houses. As mentioned already, if there was a space in either schools I would move my children in a heartbeat.

I would try and get the year 4 child into the younger child’s school. Put in an application and appeal. Even if it’s full, the panel might be sympathetic if you have to be in 2 places at once and are getting fined.

Its an option, I appealed last year but it was rejected. Ironically I was late on the odd occasion last year too ( never an issue), and I used that as my appeal too but it was rejected. I rang the council up to tell them im getting fined and all I got told was sorry that's between you and your school

Unfortunately OP this is an issue you need to resolve, the school have to pay staff to stay back when you are late, hence you get fined because it isn’t their cost to swallow.

Twice in 14 days in not irregular either. If you need more flexibility then you will have to pay for that in the form of afterschool care.

Is this a private school? Otherwise I can’t understand how they can fine you or enforce the fine. A state school can put a child whose parent is late in their after school club and charge for that. It would not be a fine though, just the cost of your child being looked after . There is also a window between home time and ASC club starting, when the parent is not technically late. The teaching staff don’t finish at 3:15, office staff definitely don’t, more like 4/4:30.It doesn’t make sense.

Its a new school year, you can apply and appeal again if its unsuccessful for you eldest to switch schools.

You’ll have to just pay for after school club in one of the schools. Hopefully it won’t be for long. But that’s what insurance is - paying to negate something that will rarely happen.

If finish times are the same for both schools then you will always be late for one surely?
Traffic I'd say is always unpredictable so you are going to be late on a regular basis. So you need to find a solution.
I mean appeal the fine if you want but what is the solution? It cant be .. Just accept I will be late sometimes.

Op, if you’ve been late twice in two weeks the. The likelihood is that you will be late on average once a week from now on. Who are you expecting to look after your child for 15 mins?