Advice on school Fine

[TurtleBeGiddy]

Dear fellow Mumnetters,

I have 3 boys that go to 3 different schools. My eldest goes to a secondary school and the younger ones (Year 4, and Year 1) go to primary.

Morning drops are managed thanks to breakfast clubs. However, the pick-ups are extremely challenging, well maybe not too much but my Year 4 child's school has gone all pedantic on me. Ive been late, twice in 14 days and as a result theyve decided to fine me.

I metup with the headteacher but she was not giving an inch, citing how she pays her office staff by the hour and they have other commitments etc. She instead started to solutionise for me by prescribing my son more afternoon clubs. My child already had enough and I dont feel right to force him into more when he isnt interested. Anyway, bottom line is I am facing a dilemma. My eldest isnt much of an issue as I can probably find a solution but the other two are young. Depending on traffic I can be a maximum of 15 mins late but no more.

Im tempted to complain, but actually I just wanna cry. Simply because I expected better and more empathy and maybe even compassion but no, doesnt look like that's the case. Ive been stigmatised, made to feel like im doing wrong and fined.

I need advice, 1) Has anyone been in this situation with a primary school
2) what did you do?
3) had anyone ever complained and whats the chances of winning?
4) if i complain will I be victimised?

Honestly its been terrible because I dont mean any harm, but i dont know who to seek advice from. I feel ive just been targeted unfairly but I dont wanna damage what I thought was a good parent-school staff relationship.

Thanks in advance.

It was a state school that turned into an academy school this year. I guess they have more choices now. You're right about state schools though, my friends who lives in another city told me she knows parents arrive late everyday at other schools and have no issue. I guess it varies school to school but i think this school turning into academy hasnt helped.

I hardly think the school being an academy is making any difference.
They’re not prepared to hold onto your kids for 15+ minutes after the school day ends on an ongoing basis.
That would be the case pretty much everywhere. If you think it wouldn’t, try collecting the other child first and see the reception you get when you’re late at the other school 🤷🏻‍♀️
Why do you think they’re the ones who need to solve your problem for you?

You’re literally expecting the school to provide an after school provision for your child at no cost 1/7th of the days they attend school.

I think from experience once you piss the head off they don't forget. Mine still brings up something from two years ago. Ie don't expect them to soften up or see your side. Mine was asking for my child's data that the head had no idea why I needed it. HT just saw it as a act of war. Ie your not behaving like every other parent, you are stepping into a position where your seen. I'm my case sticking my head over the parapet so it's going to get blown off.

Can you do alternate after school clubs at both schools so they share out staying on after?

I had 4 kids in 4 schools so I can sympathise. It wasn't my choice either just age gaps and sen schools in the mix.

My year 4 child could have waited for me off site but it's not ideal I know. Ten minutes rarely sitting outside the gate might be one solution. Luckily on the very rare occasions I'm late another mum will phone to ask if I'm OK or drop my primary child home. But I don't ask she offers which I see isn't a option for you

If the head is offering the club as a solution who is paying? Is it less than a fine?

Also the office at my child's school shuts at 4. If I'm stuck coming from miles away in a crash they have always been fine because it's rare. Lots of parents have rare emergencies..I suspect in your case your cards are marked now and there will be sympathy as they want you right or wrongly back in line.

Did you notify the school both times that you would be late and approximately for how long?
You need to start communicating with the school now , explain the situation and work together to find a solution. Preferably you would do this with both schools , as one might be more lenient/accommodating than the other. Alternatively, find a third school that has spaces for both children.

Does this school have an after school club with spaces? If yes, just book your eldest in for an hour session (that should give you enough leeway even with traffic), and he doesn’t have to stay for the whole thing.

Their communication was poor , as was the way they dealt with it. Best practice requires communication with parents and a warning this is coming.

Was it actually a 'fine', or just a charge for the after school club?

How many children are there in the Year 4 class in your younger child's school?
I would put in an appeal - remember the appeal isn't based on you being late or it being convenient, you have to show that the benefit to your child of joining the school, outweighs the detriment to the school of having a bigger class.

Out of the three schools not one offers after school club? Or if they do which ones? This is unsustainable and you know it. You can’t be in three places at once.

you need to source after school care for 1 primary child. Pick 1 primary child up on time and the one at secondary can wait for you.

child minder, after school, koru kids, google childcare. You will have to pay like lots of us do. You can’t be that late that often

you can complain all you want but you don’t have a leg to stand on. The head is right. You cannot expect staff to work for free because you have childcare issues.

how well do you know any other parents? Could you meet any half way??

What was your plan to resolve the issue though OP? You describe it as an irregular occurrence but it’s happened twice in 2 weeks this school year and you say it happened last year too. How did you think you were going to manage picking up from 3 schools at the same time? What’s wrong with the club option the HT has offered you? Honestly I despair at the world sometimes, you don’t appear to have done anything to try and resolve this problem.

Can you use a childminder for one of the two younger children, to give you more flex?

But the benefit is op’s, not the child’s.
Childcare issues are irrelevant at appeal.

How militant you sound. They just want her collecting her kids on time.
Like everyone else?

Yes so she needs to look at what the school offers that would benefit her child - for example, the school offers violin lessons and her child wants to play the violin, the school has a sports club or offers a language that the current school doesn't.

This!

Another course of action would be to give the school notice you wish for your Yr4 to be released by themselves instead of an adult. Then they can wait somewhere safe for you.

OP I know you are tired but I think you need some perspective. You haven’t been victimised. There are rules and you broke them no matter how much you disagree and the rules are for everyone. You say you have been made to feel like you have done wrong - again you have. Hold you me hands up and say that. You say it’s due to traffic so you admit it is your fault.

You are going to complain because you broke the rules and don’t think it’s fair?

What about the teachers or staff who have to wait for you and have possibly been made late to pick up their own children, or for appointments etc.

Your time isn’t more important than theirs.

I have sympathy for your situation but instead of blaming, complaining etc use this energy to sort the problem and get your kids on time.

And you put this in the bullying category which it absolutely isn’t.

I think you need to use the after school clubs that are available as the head teacher has suggested. Staff may need to leave to pick up their own children, it isn't fair for you to make others late because you aren't on time, especially when there is a good option available, you just don't seem to want to take it.

You say the primary schools both finish at the same time so presumably you are late to the second pick up to some degree every day, it's just worse on the days you hit traffic.

I would explain the full situation and ask the younger child's school to allow you to pick up 10-15 minutes early, pending you securing a place at the other school. They are likely spending most of that time getting sorted for home time anyway if it's YR or 1.

I think the year 4 is capable of waiting outside for you, so I would ask the school to release them. Give them a budget phone and tell them not to move until you get there.

They are unlikely to do this for a Year 4 due to safeguarding, they'd probably allow in 5 or 6.

After school club - why should the school provide free childcare - staff do have other commitments including their own children.

Why did you move one child and not the other - this seems like a problem you have created

But you must be late EVERY day - if both schools finish at the same time, you’ve admitted you can’t be in 2 places at the same time. I’m not surprised the head isn’t happy

I would use the after school club option. It would take the pressure off massively. He will be fine, lota of kids go every day. I actually think they are beneficial in lots of ways. And if your youngest get a place you can revisit it all then.

This.

I am sorry that things are complicated for you, but this is not bullying and the headteacher is right. You are required to be on time to pick up your child, and it is costing her time and resources to do childcare for you and you alone. She has suggested solutions, and if you don't like her solutions you must find your own.

I feel for you OP - mine eldest 2 were in different primaries thanks to a very high birth rate one year (every other year would have been no problem) and I ended up having to use an after school club for one for the same reason - he was taken to this in a taxi until he was old enough to walk home himself or wait for me.

I wasn't fined though - no school here has that power, thankfully - but I knew I had to sort something out as I couldn't be in two places at once.