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Original poster

Group of 30 from DD's school lured her to the park to attack, mug, and humiliate her

507 replies

user1468352691 · 07/03/2017 00:54

I'm absolutely going out of my mind with worry and my daughter is hysterical and is refusing to come out of her room, and is refusing to go to school tomorrow. I want to phone the police but she is begging me not to, so I need advice from my fellow mums of teens.

So, a bit of backstory. My daughter is 14, and started a new school 6 months ago. She fitted in extremely well at first, and befriended some of the girls from the "popular" clique. She was out nearly every day after school and at the weekends, they'd go into town or each others houses. I was thrilled because in her previous school she had always been left out, we moved school so she could have a fresh start, and it worked, so I though at the time.

Around a month ago, DD went into school and suddenly this group blanked her. The "clique" consists of around 30 people in her year, and is a mix of boys and girls. DD had (and still doesn't know) what she did to trigger this. In the weeks that followed, only one girl from the clique was still "friends" with her, and she claimed she had also been blanked by the clique. This was a lie as we'd later find out. On Friday, DD got a text from the friend asking if she wanted to meet up at the park and get something to eat in town afterwards. DD thought her and this girl were best friends, so she agreed.

DD walked to the park, and she says the friend was waiting for her at the gates, and told her "I have something amazing to show you.", and led her to the other end of the park. What awaited her, were 30 kids from her year standing in the field. She says the majority of the "clique" were there. They ran up to her, took pictures of her, hit her, pulled her hair and took her phone. The ones that weren't attacking her stood and watched, while laughing and filming. After they'd left (the attack lasted at least half an hour my DD said) she ran home and told me what happened. She's been locked up in her room most of the weekend and I let her miss school Monday and today, that may have been the wrong move but I couldn't bear the thought of going through that again.

I know I need to send her back to school tomorrow and we are both sick to our stomachs at the thought, but we already had the LEA on our backs a few months ago when we went on holiday for a week during term time. I wish I could just keep her safe at home for the rest of the year. I don't know what to do :(

OP posts:
Giddyaunt18 · 07/03/2017 13:55

Just read your update OP. I can't believe the lack of response from the school and only acting when you got the police involved. I agree that you shouldn't deregister her yet. They need to be held to account by you , the local authority and Ofsted. Your poor DD and you. Flowers

listsandbudgets · 07/03/2017 14:05

I think it would be a good idea to get this pulled too.

Do you know how to print to pdf OP as it may be worth keeping a record of the thread before asking MNHQ to pull it. It will be a lot easier than taking endless screen shots

Click on show all messages
Go to print in the normal way
Choose destination and one of the options should be pdf
That will create a file which you can then save it

If you have any problems I'm happy to do it for you and email it to you

MadeForThis · 07/03/2017 14:07

Hopefully the police can make an example of those students.

SightHoundSista · 07/03/2017 14:09

I am beyond disgusted at the school's reaction. I would be reporting to Ofsted immediately. Why has the HT not called? Don't they have phones in Spain?! Hmm

The reaction of "we have many children with difficulties" is the same defensive BS that I have heard "well we do have 29 other children......" Frankly I don't give a hoot about those children as we are here to discuss mine. Angry

Your daughter Island cat to have you on her side. I truly hope the vile lowlife bully scum get what they deserve and more. How very dare they. Your poor daughter.

I love Pretty Little Liars. She has great taste in TV. Smile

Giddyaunt18 · 07/03/2017 14:10

How does it help to have a record of this thread ? Genuinely, what am I missing?

FrenchLavender · 07/03/2017 14:14

Sorry to go off thread a bit seriously HOW ON EARTH did a Sun reporter manage to track you to Facebook via MN? Shock

ExplodedCloud · 07/03/2017 14:15

Giddy, there's advice in amongst the sympathy plus some rough timings of things today and things people have said to OP. Might be useful.

Dancergirl · 07/03/2017 14:16

I fear for the future when teenagers can behave like this

Me too. I am absolutely appalled that this 'mob' attack occurred. With all the anti-bullying education and PSHE lessons these days and not ONE of these kids stood ground. They all blindly followed like sheep.

OP, you sound like a lovely caring mum, thank goodness your dd has you. She will get through this with your support. Wishing you both all the best.

Underparmummy · 07/03/2017 14:17

Might not be from mumsnet the reporter tracked OP down from? Might be from a source from the school?

Giddyaunt18 · 07/03/2017 14:18

Oh ok. Had visions of OP marching into Head's office quoting MNers!

FrenchLavender · 07/03/2017 14:22

Of course Unde good point, it's just the way her post was worded it sounded as though she was speaking to him/her through MN.

HappyFlappy · 07/03/2017 14:22

When I went in all they did was print of a bloody copy of the anti bullying policy (the nerve...) and read it to my face, before coming out with that useless "safe space" offer

Patronising tw*ts! Angry

SweetGrapes · 07/03/2017 14:22

Omg! Your poor dd! This is absolutely horrible!

WhoKn0wsWhereTheTimeG0es · 07/03/2017 14:22

I assumed The Sun had picked it up from local social media.

ShutTheFuckUpBarbara · 07/03/2017 14:25

Your poor DD Flowers

The school's response is appalling, luckily the police are taking it seriously, it will hopefully go some way towards helping your DD realise none of this is her fault Sad

HappyFlappy · 07/03/2017 14:29

I suggest that when the police have done their bit, you contact a lawyer to look at a civil suit, too.

If you can hit the parents in their pockets they might teach their horrible children some better behaviour.

Original poster
user1468352691 · 07/03/2017 14:34

I don't know how the Sun got my details. It's impossible for it to have come through MN so all I can think of is that they got a tip off about something on social media and it's became a trail of breadcrumbs for them. It's appalling

OP posts:
crazycatgal · 07/03/2017 14:36

Some schools are absolutely ridiculous when responding to bullying, your poor DD has been through something horrific and the school should be throwing the book at these horrible kids. I definitely think the right thing would be to remove your DD from the school as she's probably terrified of going back.

I hope the police manage to prosecute to give you some sort of justice x

KoalaDownUnder · 07/03/2017 14:38

Have the Head and/or the Deputy contacted you directly yet?

If not, that's unbelievable.

ASDismynormality · 07/03/2017 14:39

How awful for your poor DD. I really hope the children involved are punished.

Original poster
user1468352691 · 07/03/2017 14:43

Just received an email from the deputy head. She has stated that the ongoing matter is of a very "concerning nature" and wants me to phone the school tomorrow and they will redirect me to her if she is avaliable. Still better than nothing but I'm not impressed!

OP posts:
Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 07/03/2017 14:45

Nothing to add as its already been said, but Flowers for you, and your poor dd

chopchopchop · 07/03/2017 14:47

When you reply to her, it might be worth mentioning that you have been contacted by The Sun, who have got your details somehow. Obviously you are not going to speak to them, but you thought she'd like to know in case they are contacted in turn...

It is something that they probably should know, but it might also frighten them into realising the seriousness of the situation.

I'm so sorry for your DD. Please tell her that I was one of the misfits and oddballs at school, although I was lucky that there was at least a few of us. But fast-forward to later life, and we're the ones who've done interesting things with our lives. The people like that have just stayed in the same place. (then we'll all join in singing 'Misfits' by Pulp, but it's all true, every word...)

Werkzallhourz · 07/03/2017 14:53

I do wish we could move away from calling this behaviour "bullying". What has happened here is abuse and mass assault, and should be treated as such.

If an individual were treated like this in the workplace, a medical institution, in the parental home, even a prison ... they'd sue for thousands and/or be removed from the environment. The consequences would be extraordinary. But somehow because it is a school, it is seen as somehow different.

In your position, op, I'd contact a solicitor. I don't think this sort of thing will stop or be taken seriously until people start to sue.

lougle · 07/03/2017 14:54

"and wants me to phone the school tomorrow and they will redirect me to her if she is avaliable."

Err...how about she makes herself available or better yet, contacts you? Hmm

Hardly covering themselves in glory, are they? Hmm