Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Bullying

Find advice from others who have experienced school or workplace bullying on our Bulllying forum.

Original poster

Group of 30 from DD's school lured her to the park to attack, mug, and humiliate her

507 replies

user1468352691 · 07/03/2017 00:54

I'm absolutely going out of my mind with worry and my daughter is hysterical and is refusing to come out of her room, and is refusing to go to school tomorrow. I want to phone the police but she is begging me not to, so I need advice from my fellow mums of teens.

So, a bit of backstory. My daughter is 14, and started a new school 6 months ago. She fitted in extremely well at first, and befriended some of the girls from the "popular" clique. She was out nearly every day after school and at the weekends, they'd go into town or each others houses. I was thrilled because in her previous school she had always been left out, we moved school so she could have a fresh start, and it worked, so I though at the time.

Around a month ago, DD went into school and suddenly this group blanked her. The "clique" consists of around 30 people in her year, and is a mix of boys and girls. DD had (and still doesn't know) what she did to trigger this. In the weeks that followed, only one girl from the clique was still "friends" with her, and she claimed she had also been blanked by the clique. This was a lie as we'd later find out. On Friday, DD got a text from the friend asking if she wanted to meet up at the park and get something to eat in town afterwards. DD thought her and this girl were best friends, so she agreed.

DD walked to the park, and she says the friend was waiting for her at the gates, and told her "I have something amazing to show you.", and led her to the other end of the park. What awaited her, were 30 kids from her year standing in the field. She says the majority of the "clique" were there. They ran up to her, took pictures of her, hit her, pulled her hair and took her phone. The ones that weren't attacking her stood and watched, while laughing and filming. After they'd left (the attack lasted at least half an hour my DD said) she ran home and told me what happened. She's been locked up in her room most of the weekend and I let her miss school Monday and today, that may have been the wrong move but I couldn't bear the thought of going through that again.

I know I need to send her back to school tomorrow and we are both sick to our stomachs at the thought, but we already had the LEA on our backs a few months ago when we went on holiday for a week during term time. I wish I could just keep her safe at home for the rest of the year. I don't know what to do :(

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/03/2017 13:23

Yes, the woman in reception did tell me HT was in a meeting

What - when they're actually out of the country?? Dear god, they really don't know what they're doing, do they? Angry Angry

Giddyaunt18 · 07/03/2017 13:23

You need to demand to speak to the Headteacher or for them to call you back urgently. tell whoever you speak to that you are involving the police. That should get the Head to act urgently. This is a BIG deal and the school will want to sort this out . You have to not let your daughter talk you out of this . I am so sorry for you both.

listsandbudgets · 07/03/2017 13:24

One of the governors will almost certainly have a brief for safeguarding. I think contacting them and the chair may be a good start if you can find out who they are. Really the school should have told them already.

Hope the police are scaring the wits out of those involved Angry

Underparmummy · 07/03/2017 13:24

The school had heard one of their pupils had committed sucide post a bullying incident and didn't contact anyone?! WTAF?!

I would also get onto local authority school provision people to talk about changing schools now.

Giddyaunt18 · 07/03/2017 13:26

Head and Deputy head abroad? What sort of school is this? Someone must be acting as head!

Cooroo · 07/03/2017 13:29

This is horrible. Please tell your DD that women all over the country are feeling for her, thinking of her and wishing we had those little shits in a room for half an hour. It's unbelievable.

Paperthinspider · 07/03/2017 13:30

So very sorry this has happened to you and your poor DD.
I'm not qualified to give advice but as a pp suggested, maybe a visit to a solicitor would be a good idea.
The staff at the school will be in a panic as they could end up featured in a national newspaper.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/03/2017 13:30

To be fair, large schools often have more than one deputy head, but whether or not this one does it's too bad that whoever was left in authority seems not to have exercised any Hmm

And regarding telling the Head that police are involved ... trust me, they'll almost certainly already know. Whatever they choose to disclose (or don't) news like this will reach them very, very fast

DistanceCall · 07/03/2017 13:31

I was quite severely bullied in school. The dynamics is usually that there are one or two ringleaders who gang on a scapegoat, and then a bunch of kids who are weak and sheepish enough to follow them, partly out of fear of being ganged on themselves.

They are all completely despicable, and it doesn't speak very well of these brats' upbringing. I know it is very hard, but you should be very proud that your daughter feels close enough to you to trust you, and that she has a mind of her own. You have absolutely done the right thing.

I hope the school goes down in flames, to be honest. And those little bastards too.

lougle · 07/03/2017 13:31

It doesn't matter that they are in Spain. They will be connectable by phone and they will have arranged the chain of command in their absence.

frumpet · 07/03/2017 13:36

As far as I can remember from last time I visited , they do have phones in Spain Hmm

gamerchick · 07/03/2017 13:37

would honestly get this taken down now that the police are involved. I would be terrified of doing anything that might hinder or harm the police investigation

I agree, screen shot everything you've posted as a time and date log and get the thread pulled. Just incase its lifted by the press at least.

So sorry OP, kids can be terrifying the things they are capable of Flowers

humourless · 07/03/2017 13:38

The governors job is to see the school runs properly.... this is definitely an issue for them as well as Ofsted.

NumanoidNancy · 07/03/2017 13:42

Maybe some of the children are those of members of staff or local police families, or organised it via school wifi and the school are tying themselves in knots trying to work out how they can still come out of it smelling of roses. Their lack of action reflects appallingly on them whatever.

diddl · 07/03/2017 13:42

Horrific.

Absolutely beggars belief.

A prime example of mob mentality.

Hope that the kids involved are prosecuted-including the bystanders & that there's a bloody big shake up at the school.

Craftykittens · 07/03/2017 13:43

I can't read the thread, I tried and it is too triggering for me. So sorry if this has been said.

I was violently attacked by two girls, as an adult and have PTSD as a result.

Please make sure your daughter gets some help for her mental well being, it is awful what she has gone through, she is going to need help with her mental health too.

I'm so sorry for her Flowers

debbs77 · 07/03/2017 13:43

Also, take your daughter with you everywhere for now, or at least leave her with someone. I wouldn't be leaving her alone x

diddl · 07/03/2017 13:44

It hardly seems possible that this could be organised without anyone having a clue.

Giddyaunt18 · 07/03/2017 13:47

Ofsted!

flumpybear · 07/03/2017 13:47

Bloody hell OP your poor little girl!!
So glad you've been to the police - don't back down either - these teenagers, particularly those who have been instigating and sending such hateful messages need a sharp lesson as to what is classed as unacceptable and that's extreme on the scale
Re the school - if they knew as this was the talk of the school WTAF are
They doing ignoring it!! Essentially they waited for you to go to them ..... it should be them coming to you in the Monday when they knew - particularly the fucking suicide picture .......
if the head AND the deputy are jollying it up in Spain, who the fuck is in charge?! Surely one should remain behind to sort issues, hence their responsibilities and elevated pay - one or the other should return home and sort their school out
I really hope you get this sorted out

As for the Sun ......... words don't describe!

traceyturnblatt · 07/03/2017 13:49

OP I'm delurking to say how lucky your DD is to have a Mum like you. Posters like Southall should think before they speak as even saying things like that on MN is just another extension of the bullying.

I was in a similar situation to your DD when I was in Primary 4, a group of kids from my class and the class above me chased me home, caught up to me in the park and pretty much kicked the living daylights out of me. My parents were brilliant and I had not long moved to the school so I still don't know what I did to warrant it.

It was a horrible situation but it taught me from an early age to treat people how I wanted to be treated. It has taken a long time but It actually prompted me to become more assertive and stand up for those who couldn't.

I don't mean to derail, I just want you to know that you and your DD will get through this and hopefully your DD will be able to move on from this with the proper support.

Flowers for you both

BertrandRussell · 07/03/2017 13:49

OP- I'm only halfway through this awful thread but I had to say whatever else you do DON'T DEREGISTER HER! If you do they can wash their hands of her.

theothercatpurred · 07/03/2017 13:53

OP you have absolutely done the right thing. But I agree with others now you have gone to the police and also with the Sun sniffing about I suggest you consider getting the thread pulled.

FannyWisdom · 07/03/2017 13:53

We missed social media bullying by a couple of years for DC.

I vividly remember (back in the dark ages) being bullied.
In fact my only memories of school are the bullies and how bad they were.

You are doing the right thing OP dd needs you to step in and stop this.
School should have seen or at least responded but they told you all they need to when they offered a safe space.....it should all be safe it's school not fucking Palestine.

Good luck and let the police throw everything at each one of the culprits.
Nasty pack rats.

GoofyIsACow · 07/03/2017 13:54

Oh OP this is totally horrific, your poor DD and you.
I am appalled at the response you have had from school!
Your DD is very lucky to have a mum like you, good luck Flowers