Breastfeeding till the age of 4 - what do you think?

[lisalisa]

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I think it would be far better simply to encourage breastfeeding until it was properly established - that seems to be the major stumbling block at the moment.

If ALL women had the right kind of support throughout those difficult first weeks until breastfeeding is well established and working properly, then maybe more women would continue breastfeeding for as long as they and their baby felt they wanted to. There's a huge proportion of mothers who give up within the first six weeks because they don't have the support that they need to continue.

totally agree wwb. i also feel that women go into it not realising how hard it is for the first 6 weeks, so when it is v hard they give up thinking it's never going to get easier. i have made a point of scaring the life out of pg acquaintances, though i feel a bit bad about it, but i know they will thank me for it later!
i only mamaged to overcome initial hurdles because i was in hospital for 3 days and happened luckily to call a midwife when i was in lots of pain who knew what she was talking about re latching on. i couldn't believe that one second it felt like dd was sticking pins in my nipples & the next it was lovely & comfortable! if it had been one of the other midwives who came to my aid it might not 've happened like that... and that's not to mention the amount of time I spent feeding dd in the first few months(well, and beyond!), that was a shock to me too. I was v lucky to be staying with my parents, who did absolutely everything else. I wouldn't have coped otherwise.

Well done for stating your feelings really clearly Lizita. I'm sorry that you're feeling bad about weaning your little one now, you have no need to, as you say you're both happier now and you did what you felt was best at that time and that is all that any of us can ever do.

I do wish more people were informed about the benefits of extended breastfeeding, not particularly so they will do it themselves but just so they won't judge anyone else for doing it. I'm loving breastfeeding my almost 14 month old little girl and can't imagine stopping for a long time yet. Yes its tying, my husband and I have never been alone together since she was born (well unless you count when she's asleep) but thats more to do with her not seeing enough of anyone else to feel comfortable with them, and me not being willing to do anything that would cause her to be unhappy.
The one thing I sometimes miss is being able to go out on an evening, she feeds generally 5 - 6 times during the night and most of those are in the late evening. She won't settle without feeding, but I do feel fairly confident that she will outgrow this need when she's ready. She was already beginning to when she started teething again.

Just wanted to say again, 14 months of breastfeeding is a wonderful start in life and I hope you can start to feel good about having given her that!

Like Roxswood says, Lizita put it very well.
I tried to make my posts short and sweet and didn't express myself properly. I will take a lesson from Lizita.

I agree with everything that WWB said - more support needed in the early stages.

I was not supported. HV said an outrageous comment, which frightened me and I lost my milk, overnight, after having only bf for a few weeks.

Very interesting point, that Lizita made - "if we were all encouraged to breastfeed for at least 2 years rather than 6 months" - is it common for Hv's etc to only suggest 6 mths of bf ? I did not know that. That's terrible. I thougth most HV's recommended 2 years. How wrong I was !

I have got over the feeling now, thanks! I know I did the right thing for me & dd.

Good luck Roxswood. I must say I couldn't do what you're doing!

Strangely enough lots of people say that to me! :-)

I have been blessed with a very high need little girl however and the way we are doing things is very definitely the easiest way. I know that I wouldn't be able to go out without breaking her heart even if I was to give up breastfeeding, and then I wouldn't have the magic cure-all in my bag of tricks anymore either.

She has never responded well to mainstream parenting styles, hated the car seat and the pram and the cot from the moment she was born, and has only ever been happy in my arms and in my bed. Breastfeeding just makes parenting her that much easier.

She sounds very similar to how my dd was, though I did controlled crying when she was 5 1/2 months old which transformed my life tbh.
With babysitting, I took a gently-gently approach with her, the only times she spent apart from me was when someone took her out, in her pushchair, for a little bit, so she was less aware that I was leaving iykwim. And when I started more blatantly leaving her, it would be with a very cheery brief goodbye so that she wouldn't latch onto any feeling that anything was wrong. It surprised me how much easier it was than I thought it would be.

In separating from me when we were together, it got better gradually, slowly, the more mobile she got, and of course after having weaned her. I remember the first time she crawled voluntarily out of the living room. She looked back at me like "Woh, what am I doing??"

Sorry for ramble, you probably didn't want to know all that !

Its nice to hear, though I never wanted to leave my baby crying alone I did try it once out of sheer frustration one day when she was about 8 months. She screamed and panicked, turned purple and vomited everywhere (all within 10 minutes) and even though I had been coming back into the room after 3-4 minutes to try and reassure her.
So at that point I realised it really was just far too traumatic for her. She wouldn't go in her pram, I carried her in a sling most of the time so I couldn't send her out in a pram with anyone until just recently and now there just isn't anyone who could take her other than me and my husband. She's great with my hubby during the day, I can go out as long as I like, but at night she still needs to be close to me.

Got interrupted..

She is becoming more independent on her own terms now, as long as she knows I'm not going anywhere she will go off and explore at toddler groups even into the next room, and will happily play in the living room while I'm in the kitchen. I'm a great believer in allowing them to grow at their own pace and she is definitely doing this, she just has a greater need for comfort than lots of children.

I read a great book recently called "The Highly-Sensitive Child" and it just described her perfectly. It was lovely to read the great benefits in later life of this high sensitivity, and also to talk to my Mum and realise that I was exactly the same when I was young. I know I've grown up happy and outgoing and confident and I know she will too, but I just have to do a more intense style of parenting these early years.

roxswood-i too have that book about the highly sensitive child- i bought it when my son was smaller as he was very sensitive, my daughter is the same too she is 16months old and just wont sleep in her cot we have tried everything controlled crying u name it she is now in our bed and i am still b/feeding her as she is allergic to dairy and wont take nutramigen but it is the only way we get some sleep-romance has gone out of the window though!

We've had to find inventive ways of finding romantic time.. I lie with my little girl and feed her to sleep, then creep downstairs and me and hubby put a quilt on the living room floor and put candles on and have our romantic time like this. To be frank we still make love about two to three times a week this way and thats probably a similar amount to before she was born.
I don't feel our relationship is suffering at all but we haven't been able to make love in our bed for quite some time.

Its our third anniversary tomorrow and we're planning to get her to bed (usually round 8pm) and then get a takeaway and romantic music and just TALK.. its my favourite way to reconnect and always seems just as romantic as going out for a meal.