Breastfeeding till the age of 4 - what do you think?

[lisalisa]

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the MW wasn't interested in helping me breastfeed either. she wanted to shut him up as quickly as possible so she didn't have to deal with us. It was the worst time of my life when it should have been the best.

btw neocate is a hypoallerginic formula made in a lab uncontaminated by food proteins.

Awh Ruty, I'm so sad that you had such a horrible time! I can't imagine how that felt starting the life with your new little one with such emotional upsets.

The first few weeks are daunting enough even when everything goes perfectly, I'm taking my hat off to you and doing a bow.

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Ooh I do hope you're right about that socci. I've been breastfeeding for six out of the last seven years and let's just say, I'm not the waif like figure I once was.

thanks roxwood

I am sorry if people think I am being petty, but I just had to write on this post agin.

What I want to say, is not actually about bf, but about the way that people attack eachother.

When I made my first post on this topic, it was my first ever post on mumsnet.

I still maintain that I don't really have much of a problem with bf at 4. Just that I consider it 'more the norm' to stop bf at about 2, once on a normal full diet is up and running.

I still maintain that my opinion is not very extreme and that lots of other people have posted the same.

Considering that this was my first ever post, I did not know what dh, dd, ds etc was, everyone really jumped on me.

I have made a few more posts in the last week and am now more experienced.

But still, it seems that if you say something, and remember to put IMO, at the end of the sentence, then that is o.k.
But if you do not put IMO at the end, then everything you say can be jumped upon.

Surely that is utterly ridiculous ?

Nooka said the same thing & things were getting very personal between "personal thoughts & judgements"

Lisa 2 had a roarer with Hunkermunker & WWB, until she said that it was only 'her opinion,. and then everything was o.k.

Surely this is not the way that mumsnet was supposed to be ?

Just for the record - and I am sorry to have to single out particular posters but...

When Caligula said I was silly and uniformed that really hurt me.
When ruty said I was ignorant - even though I was only copying what three other posters had written about the 'dirty water' - I didn't realise that I had to explain that I was copying another poster.
Suedonim really picked on me about a petty thing, really going to town on sports drink and the Beckhmas when it was clear I was talking about a bottle. Why so petty ?

And WWB saying I was slagging people off.
Don't worry WWB, I've since read a number of your other posts, including telling a mum that a 4 week old cring was "cruel".. and you had to eat your words on that one, didn't you ?? .... maybe you'd like to retract your criticism of me? But don't worry, I 've taken what you said with a pince of salt.

But don't worry, I have now learnt that anyone can write anything they like , so long as they put IMO at the end !!!!

Joke !!!!
I really hope that even in heater discussions we can try not to get quite so personal with our attacks.

Sorry you had a rough ride rachD. I know what you mean, it can be quite hurtful can't it?

I think some topics invite very passionate posts and this is clearly one of them.

I'm glad you don't seem to have been put off posting.

Rachd, sorry I hurt your feelings, my actual comment wasn't directed at you personally, but at the arguments you used. The comment which prompted the word "silly" was the one you made about the Beckham's son drinking out of a beaker, rather than a cup. Sorry, but I do find it silly that anyone can make snap judgements about anyone else's parenting on the basis of one photograph, the context of which is unknown. And the word "uninformed" was in response to your remark that you didn't understand why a child older than 2 outside of a developing country with dirty water, might need to be bf. It seemed to me that the thread was absolutely full of discussion and links about why that might be the case, and so it looked as if you were deliberately choosing to remain uninformed about it. I guess that's the problem with such a long thread, that sometimes people don't press on the links. However, I think if you're going to post an opinion on a very controversial thread which has already had about 500 postings, you've got to be prepared to wade through the links and read the postings, otherwise you will get flak from the people who have been bothering to follow it and progress an argument!

However, the comments obviously aren't personal about you, just about the arguments you used at that particular time and sorry to have hurt your feelings. You chose a particularly sensitive subject on Mumsnet on a particularly lively thread (I thought I'd seen 'em all before this one) so it probably was a bit of a shock. Glad you haven't been put off, and welcome to Mumsnet!

Thing is, when you've had a long convo with someone who just goes "yeah, well, it's my opinion so you can just bugger off cos there's free speech and you're just judgemental and I hate you anyway" you kind of get the idea that there's not much point continuing with talking to them!

I'm obviously paraphrasing, but that kind of thing's happened several times to me on MN now.

As for your choice of first thread - phew! Welcome to MN!

sorry rachd - i didn't mean to attack you personally - sometimes when one writes things it can come over the wrong way. But you did say we don't need to breastfeed extensively because our water isn't dirty like it is in Africa, and i didn't like that statement. It assumed so much. I've been attacked too - i guess when you say something strongly people come back strongly - nature of debate. Hope no hard feelings.

breastfeed extensively? Extended breastfeeding? Sort of same thing...

Thankyou Caligula & Humkermunker.
I really didn't want to start on such a bad footing. I have thought about it alot since.

I do regret choosing such a thread that resulted in such feeling, for a first thread !

And I regret not taking the time to word my comments better.

I just thought that my thoughts were pretty middle of the road, like others who had posted, and didn't think I would be pounced on.

I thought that people just took what you said as the rough message, rather than the exact words you used. Sorry, I know better know.

I am unable to apologise for my feelings of the Beckhams picture. I have read a few articles about it since. But every Dr Tanya, Tracy Hogg etc, has view on development and I do accept that my views are personal to me.

It probably wasn't the place to bring up that particular issue.

BTW RachD i thought you had a point about the beckhams thing and i should have supported you on that. Sorry!

RachD, I'm not holding it against you. Only one poster on this thread who won't get the time of day from me anywhere else on MN, I'm afraid

Please don't dwell on it - and if you want to see a flaming, search for my name and weaning spoons I got burned that night! LOL!

Hunkermunker (grt name) - the weaning spoons one is a classic! Better than some of the comedy on the telly....funnier reading it with the heat out as it were. Thought the hairy chin one the other day was good as well..

I'll never forget the old Lizzie Bardsley/Wife Swap one. I got burned there...whoooooooooo

Must go to bed now.

i actually wish i'd stayed out of this debate totally now! It has left a rather unpleasant taste in my mouth.

RachD, like me you had a baptism of fire. The first thread I ever started, just a few weeks ago, was about boys in dresses. I couldn't believe the responses.

I love it now though. Such lively debate from so many different, intelligent, wise women.

Wow, Rach, you seem to be singling me out for some fairly hefty criticism ... as far as I can see, you asked why people were objecting to your opinion, and my response was "Because you appear to be expressing your opinion by slagging people off, thereby judging them". I was trying to tell you why people were getting peeved with you - I wasn't commening on your posts myself. And note the words "appear to be" - it was fairly obvious that you weren't intending to, but that's how your post came across, and that's what I was pointing out. I didn't even make any comment on your posts at all, so I'm not really sure why you have felt the need to have a go at me about it.

I'm also pretty astounded that you should chose to bring up another post of mine from a different thread, particularly as you use it to offer judgment and criticism of me - something which you are having a go at others for doing. If you are going to refer to posts on other threads, and if you're going to use them to throw insults around, then please read the posts properly - I didn't "eat my words", what I did was apologise for my tone being a little harsh, and then try to explain what I meant by the post I had made.

It seems to me that you have judged me and found me wanting, but I hope that you have also read some of my other posts on other topics, because I do generally try to be as polite and fair as I can be - diplomacy may not be my strongest point, but I do always try not to say anything that could be seen as hurtful. And when I have upset someone (it hasn't happened very often), I have always apologised. I will apologise to you too, if you feel that what I said was criticising you; it certainly wasn't my intention to do so.

I look forward to speaking to you more on MN - if only to prove that I'm not the cow that you seem to think I am!

I cant remember who I even argued with on this thread! Well, apart from one poster!

The wonderful thing about mumsnet is that you can have these sorts of long winded often heated discussions and carry on as normal the next day. It really does all get forgotten, well nearly all!

where else can you do that?

WWB I dob't think you are a cow. I don't get the "slagging people off" bit - are you too upset about the Beckhams comment ? Which comment did you think was the "slagging off"

"And WWB saying I was slagging people off.
Don't worry WWB, I've since read a number of your other posts, including telling a mum that a 4 week old cring was "cruel".. and you had to eat your words on that one, didn't you ?? .... maybe you'd like to retract your criticism of me? But don't worry, I 've taken what you said with a pince of salt."

RachD, I did think that what you'd written was a touch snide

Has this thing kicked of yet?

Sorry, couldnt resist.

"kicked of"? Herc?

Are you saying I'm thick?