Breastfeeding till the age of 4 - what do you think?

[lisalisa]

Message withdrawn

That should say, 'just to give you an idea, MY babies' not 'by babies'.

I hate this new black keyboard.

my little dd is no where near toddler yet but as far as my attitude to feeding my child in public goes, I have already gotten the bloody minded attitude of a mother bear. I feed her wherever because she needs to be fed and can't wait. I have a duty to please and no one else.

latest one im hearing is 'is she getting enough?'

In my experience Roxswood, the term "breastfeeding police" does not refer to anyone speaking about breastfeeding in a positive light at all.

It is aimed at those who seek to make bottlefeeding mums feel bad for ther choice by regurgitating "statistics" on the negatives of bottlefeeding or to suggest they should feel guilty about bottlefeeding - or perhaps you think that is completely inaccurate claptrap?

I think your second to last paragraph was completely inaccurate and ill founded claptrap - exactly the same as the comments you have dealt with over breastfeeding. Do you see my point?

i've been hearing the 'is he getting enough?' one since ds was 3 months old..

Yes, then they say, 'How do you know he's getting enough if you can't measure it?' Ha! Bless.

"because he's 2.5 and would be able to tell me..."

No Serah, I don't particularly see your point as I have been called the breastfeeding police for making a simple comment about how much easier my life is with Georgia because she's breastfed.
I have never made any effort to make a bottlefeeding Mum feel guilty, and yet if I happen to say that I'm happily breastfeeding I get smacked in the face by lots of people who tell me its disgusting and "Just for you now"

I stated that I was only referring to one particular mother in my last post who comes out with the most ridiculous and ill thought and researched statements you have ever heard.

It may just be where I live but I was constantly being told to give her a bottle by everyone around me and when I said I didn't want her to have a bottle then I was also accused of being the breastfeeding police or a breastfeeding nazi. I said nothing bad about formula or bottles, just that I didn't want to give her one. So no, I still don't see your point, sorry.

Roxwood - The comments you have regards your breastfeeding are misguided and unfair.

I have referred to the breastfeeding police before, but recently have thought that it was just my own bad experience that led me to use that term and it is levelled at particular negative attitudes towards bottlefeeding per se -not breastfeeders, but even that said I have subsequently come to the opinion that it is not fair to use a term that is interpreted to represent breastfeeders as a whole. Whilst not intended (by me anyway) I can see how it could be.

My point is then, is it acceptable to to make statements like "Is this because people feel sorry for bottlefeeding Mum's and are afraid to make them feel guilty?" whilst wondering why the term breastfeeding police exists? There has to be some give and take.

It was as though in your second to last paragraph, you had assumed all the contributors here on this thread are breastfeeders. I wholeheartedly agree it is great to celebrate breastfeeding and the right to feed in public without being scorned or belittled, but please, don't then have a go at bottlefeeders - you may have been generalising (but I still take exception to the quote I used!!) but thats just it - a generalisation makes it sound common practice, and we don't all pop chips in our babies mouths you know!

tut.. have had regards, not have regards

Having re-read my post I recognise the phrases that caused offence and I really didn't mean them that way.
I know that not all bottle feeding Mum's pop chips in their babies' mouths, my rant was just at the fact this particular Mum thought she could openly denounce what I was doing without giving a thought to how others might see her parenting.

I didn't mean to come across as negative on all bottlefeeding mothers, that isn't the way I feel at all. Its just hard in text to get feelings across without being misunderstood.

I just don't like that (one person in particular, but others too) feel they have a right to tell me what I'm doing is pointless and somehow weird, and yet leap down my throat about being a breastfeeding nazi if I try to defend my own position.

I feel my statement came across differently on this board than I meant it to, I fell into the trap of kind of assuming you all knew the person I was talking about and of course you don't, and for that I'm sorry, but I do still struggle to understand why we can't just have an equal exchange of ideas and opinions in real life, like on this board without feeling like we can't be happy and positive about our parenting choices just because someone else does things differently.

I just wanted to add as well that in my original post I did say that knew I was in danger of generalising from my experiences but that I didn't intend to, sorry if you misread that bit.

No, I got it Roxwood... I just view "generalising" as being seen as "the norm" (god, I hate that expression!) But I do not only accept what you say about it being difficult to express what you mean in type but concur wholeheartedly!

Thank you for clarifying. I do understand what you say - it is swings and roundabouts after all... I may have appeared defensive myself to you in my first message! Everything we do for our children is a parenting choice, and sometimes it is difficult not to swing out in retaliation to an extreme reaction to our choices. Extreme is probably the wrong word - I probably just mean unsupportive.

I bet if we were all sat in a pub, having a beer or G&T or whatever, and all gossiping about all this kind of thing, it would all go really well (well, probably.... maybe )

roxwood i didn't take anything you said to be demeaning to bottle feeders in general. I suppose we all feel so protective of our choices, and obviously either way mothers feel judged.

I'm glad we sorted things out Serah. I like the sound of you from your posts and wouldn't like to make you feel unsupported.

Thanks Ruty, I'm glad that my original post wasn't misunderstood by everyone. I know that we can all get touchy. I often want to force my Mum to read all the literature that has contributed to my decision because I hate that she disapproves of what I'm doing, but I know it wouldn't make any difference even if I could get her to read it.. which I can't.

A particularly galling thing to me is when she tells me what a good job my sister did with her baby. I can't remember her complimenting my parenting since my little one was about 2 weeks old (which I think is when she thought I should have stopped feeding.)

Roxswood, thats a tough thing when your own mother doesn't support you, and then compares you unfavourably - grah!

Ruty.. it is simply this (out of context I know) but try and tell me you don't find the following demeaning to breastfeeders/breastfeeding...

"I too have noticed though that its socially acceptable for breastfeeding Mums to talk about bottlefeeding negatively........" "Is this because people feel sorry for breastfeeding Mum's and are afraid to make them feel guilty? Or is it because we secretly find it amusing to hear all the completely inaccurate claptrap some of them come out with".

Its purely and simply that Ruty. The exact opposite feeding choice of what Roxswood posted.

Sorry Roxswood - not meaning to drag up what you said - just using it for illustrative purpose!

i should butt out of it - i think you sorted it out and that's the main thing.

Its ok Ruty - I know you were just expressing an opinion - its ok to!

i think with the whole breast/bottle feeding debate, people on both sides can be overly sensitive. someone (sorry cant remember who it was, long thread) earlier mentioned about signs saying if you wanted to breastfeed somewhere comfortable they would even bring your drink to you".

i have never breastfed, for reasons of my own that i DO NOT have to justify. my ds's dad had a work friend who came around one day with his wife and new baby (more or less the same age as ours). (im going back 7 1/2 years now), in mid flow of conversation she flipped up her top and started breastfeeding. none of us took any notice and carried on the conversation.

but that night i thought about it and if i had offended her.

would she have felt better if i had said "would you like to use the bedroom for that?" because she would have preferred privacy and didnt know me well enough to feel she could ask?

or would she have thought that i disapproved and be really offended?, thinking i had "shoved her out of our way".

sometimes you just cant win.

haven't read this will one day but no very wrong. Agree with breastfeeding anywhere up until it feels like it shouldn't be happening there anymore. But 4, they have teeth, maybe some motheres can't let go but still not natural.

Breastfeeding is a personal choice, and however long a mother and child want to persue it is up to them. However, there are considerations that must have been mentioned here but I'm just putting my view across anyway. If you do breastfeed for a prolonged period you are risking your child having an over-dependence on you, and also inhibiting your childs self-soothing mechanisms. I think 2years old 3 max is sufficient in giving a child a sense of security and connection with his/her mother (which never diminishes completely, but takes different forms as they grow older). If there are no younger siblings to take pole position, it can be enjoyed for any length of time. Essentially, it's up to the mother.

ilovehorses 3 points from your 3 points:

there is a link below that shows it is entirely natural.

First teeth are called "milk teeth" - get it?

Some mother's can't let go? Huh, you can't force a child to breastfeed.

Oh we're getting back to the original discussion.

There is so much evidence to show that its entirely unnatural to wean a child before about 2.5 years, and that children benefit greatly from being fed until they choose to wean themselves at any age between 2.5 and 7 years.

Why do we give our children cow's milk? I for one see no point in stopping breastfeeding only then to have to give them another mammal's milk to make up for not having mothers milk.

There have been psychological studies on this recently too which have all shown that breastfeeding until any age does not promote dependence, rather that meeting a child's needs until they indicate to you that they don't need it anymore will give them the most secure base from which to go out and explore the world. Its sad to me though that our culture pushes children to grow up too fast, and to give up their comforts far too early. Is it really surprising that so many adults suffer from depression and low self-esteem? Children who breastfeed for a long time and have parents who respond to what their child needs rather than what society thinks they need have been shown to be much less likely to suffer from either of these issues.

I've said it before and I'll say it again

Michael Jordan - breastfed
Michael Jackson - bottlefed