Breastfeeding till the age of 4 - what do you think?

[lisalisa]

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yes hercules, point taken (i found it hard at first). but 6 mths on, it is easy, simple, convenient etc, & i enjoy it.

can someone help this little one?

eh?

Still breastfeeding a 2.3 year old at the moment and have not yet had any horrified reactions, although I can only imagine what people say behind closed doors...I remember one friend saying, when my son was about a year old, "Ooh, I think it's weird when they can ask for it." She has never been anything but supportive, but I dread to think what she feels now that my son can not only ask for it, but negotiates about which breast and for how long, lol!

It came up in discussion with one male friend the other day, and he just didn't "get" it. Probably the funniest reaction I have met so far. He wasn't upset, wasn't shocked, just didn't understand what I was on about. He looked really confused and then said "But does he have solid food as well?"

If the child and the mother are fine about it, well, whatever floats your boat, I guess. I can't help wondering why anyone would feel the need to breastfeed to that age. If you use the arguement that it's not natural to drink cows milk, then you have to answer the question - why do we EVER stop breastfeeding? If it's the bonding thing - again, why is breastfeeding the the major thing that connects you and the child? I breastfed both of mine until about 7 months - by that time, they weren't really interested in the feeding so much as the cuddles, so b/f stopped and the cuddles continued.

I have a four year old and find both the sight of a four year old in a buggy drinking from a bottle, and the idea (haven't seen it for quite a while) of a four year old pulling up her mum's top and helping herself personally distasteful. That's not quite the right word, I'm trying to think of something less forceful than repugnant, but showing that I'm uncomfortable with it.

That's my gut reaction, and not something I would show, or say to the mother. Thes reason I think I feel this way? Partly it's because I believe that a four year old is not a baby, and so shouldn't be doing a baby thing (feel the same way about dummies).

Partly it's because I don't like to see children get what they demand, and I think it's a huge invasion of space to go to someone's breast (even their mum!)unless specifically asked - which I do think would be a bit weird!

But then, I didn't enjoy breastfeeding very much because of the personal space issue, and feel that once weaning the whole thing gets so messy, and once teeth painful!

I would not censor, or feel that I have any right to censor, anyone who choses to breastfeed for however long they wish. But I also don't feel that I should feel bad that I feel uncomfortable.

Also I do think that the fact that mothers in some parts of the world breastfeed for a long time is related to the safety of water supplies. I've not seen any evidence (not that I have looked really) that shows that when there is no risk from water supplies there is any benefit to extended breastfeeding.

Wondered how long it would be before hints of gratification for the breastfeeding mother and allusions to Third World countries having unsafe water supplies cropped up...

And why does everyone who finds extended breastfeeding uncomfortable always talk about toddlers pulling up their mothers' tops? They don't all do this by a long way!

pathetic, isn't it HM?

Great post, nooka. It's not just lack of access to clean water that necessitates extended b/feeding, but also things like access to shops and poverty.

Totally pathetic Dinny.

Extended breastfeeding has no benefits (don't know why anyone bothers at all really), formula is readily available so we should all use that - breastfeeding is only for African women who keep their tits out for just that purpose all the time anyway?

Gah.

That is not what was said, and to insinuate that anyone was talking about "African women who keep their tits out" is appalling.

great post fannyf!
love the image of LO 'negotiating' which side, how long, etc!
guess it shows how important it can be for the LO.
also LOL at the friend who asked whether LO has solid food too!! fab!

Not really - there was a lot of insinuation about breastfeeding only being for women in poor countries without access to clean drinking water - as if they were the only reasons anyone would breastfeed. Took it one stage further, is all. Does sound ludicrous, doesn't it?

Not at all. The reason for extended b/f in many developing countries is purely practical, like it or not. That is only one thread of this debate. African women with their tits out was not mentioned by anyone else

IMO african women bf bears no resemblance whatsoever to bf in the uk, so i don't see the point really of even mentioning it, let alone getting heated over it!

I don't believe that I insinuated anything! But, I do think that mothers chose to breastfeed for rational reasons, and unsafe water supplies seem to me an entirely rational reason. Availablility of alternatives, allergies, and because it mutually suits you are also rational reasons. But I would still guess that extended breastfeeding happens more in poorer countries that in the West. Whether or not you think that is a good thing is another matter.

For some of us here on the "oposing" side it is the pulling up of tops that's distastesful, not the extended breastfeeding per say.

Ds doesn't pull up my top - ergo, we must be okay to carry on as long as we want. Not distasteful or anything. Brilliant.

I'm also quite motivated by the reduction in breast cancer which is increased the longer you feed, the valuable antibodies which mean I don't have to take time off work because he's too sick to go to preschool, and the fact that I cured his conjuntivitis in a night by squirting a bit in. These are all rational reasons, and I have loads more...

I don't get the objection to "mammals' milk" - milk and mammals sorta go together, right?

Or do we not like to have an image of milk coming from anywhere but a factory?

If it's practical to breastfeed in poor countries, why is it not practical for us?

Just because we have more choices, doesn't mean we have to take 'em.

"I've not seen any evidence (not that I have looked really) that shows that when there is no risk from water supplies there is any benefit to extended breastfeeding."

Nooka, precisely, you haven't looked. You only have to do a google search on extended bf, to find masses and masses of evidence that there is loads of benefit to extended bf, even in the western world.

Someone once posted a very good synopsis benefits of bf for 1 week, 1 month, 3 months, etc., all the way up to about age 5 I think - can't remember, and can't find it. But there's simply no doubt that bf beyond the age of 2 has masses of benefits - the evidence is overwhelming.

Most extended breastfeeders don't have children who breastfeed on demand, and who pull up tops in supermarkets. Extended breastfeeding tends to be part of a routine, often just morning and nighttime, and other drinks are available at other times.

Some posters are making the assumption that breastfeeding never changes throughout the time that women do it, but of course it does. Routines develop pretty early, so even when a baby is demand fed to start with, it becomes less and less likely to demand feed as it gets older and other food is introduced.

I'm sure that there are some people whose older toddlers still demand feed, but generally that's not the case.

And why does it matter to anyone else anyway? You don't like it; you don't do it. It's no skin off anyone else's nose whether an older toddler has a breastfeed before bedtime, just as it's no skin off anyone else's nose whether another child of the same age still has a bedtime bottle or a dummy. It might not be your choice, but your opinion is only really important to your own choices, no-one elses.

Let's put this into perspective - right ? There is nothing "unnatural" about a child breastfeeding to the age of 4 or beyond. What is "unnatural" is feeding a child of any age dried cow's milk from a bottle. An individual has a right to be shocked and saddened at the sight of a newborn being fed formula out of a bottle.

Research shows that the natural weaning age for primates and humans is 7 years old. Very few children breastfeed for that long however.

The sad thing is in countries where breastfeeding a toddler used to be the norm (i.e. most developing countries) it has now become acceptable to bottlefeed. This is due to the unethical pushing of formula in hospitals and the pressure put on health profs. in those countries to introduce formula to their patients again due to marketing by the formula companies.

Formula feeding is a a repugnant side-effect of westernisation or "West-toxication" as one well-known intellectual has put it. I have a friend in Japan who is horrified every time she walks into a GP surgery there because the surgeries are filled with formula advertising and this is in a country that only 60 years ago was almost totally agricultural and where breastfeeding was the norm. It is only due to the influnece of the West after WWII and the marketing of formula that mothers in countries like Japan and other industrialised Asian and Latin countries have turned to formula feeding.

I think this is a world-wide tragedy and don't give a damn what any one says.

I think this is the text caligula meant - giving you all the advantages of breastfeeding short- and longterm

I wondered how long it would be before someone started the breast v bottle feeding crap again. It had actually been quite civilised until now.