Breastfeeding till the age of 4 - what do you think?

[lisalisa]

Message withdrawn

No it wasn't that one - there was one which actually went through each potential condition (gastric stuff, eczema, allergies etc.) It was very similar to the one you've posted Emkana, but more detailed, so even more impressive!

Serious question to 'extended' bfers, from one who is currently still feeding 19-month dd and has no desire to force her to stop: how should I deal with the fact that she does attempt to pull my top up in public sometimes? Did/does this happen to you? An example: we're in a sunny parkI lie down on my backshe climbs on top of me and pulls up my top until either I start feeding her or manage to distract her (both involve sitting/standing up). The obvious solution is not to lie down on my back but I like lying on my back in the sun. This is all slightly disconcerting as a couple of months ago she only ever wanted to feed in the mornings; now she will ask at unpredictable times of the day. I feel much less in control of it all now, and I don't like that feeling, but I also don't feel there's any reason to deny her completely.

Sorry, this is long and rambly--I guess I'm asking extended bfers if they have ever felt conflicted in this sort of way, and if so what they have done about it.

It is a shame that this gets so polarised. The people who are disgusted and repelled make it difficult to talk about the complexities of bf, extended or otherwise, because it is easy for those of us on the other side to get defensive.

Call it "crap" if you like and be as rude as you like - I really don't care. The truth always hurts, oooouch !

But the fact that someone even bothers to pose the question whether it's ok to breastfeed a 4 year old exposes society's prejudices against breastfeeding mothers. Now that's real "crap", isn't it ?

I can answer that one, but before I do; has this thing kicked off yet or is it nice and civil?

Well you just distract her, easier said than done I know and she may throw a tantrum but she will get the message. Offer diluted juice or cheese string, depending which side of the line you favour

I just feed ds2, 22 mo, at night before he goes to sleep so he never tries to grab a slurp at any other time.

Um, I think WWB was on the same side as you, beemokha

I don't give a monkey's whose side any one here is on. The original post is based on prejudice.

Which original post do you mean? I thought your comment "call it crap" meant you were referring to WWB's message.

Anyway, thanks SW, I can see that is the answer--I think my problem is that I don't really want to be consistent. Eg if she asks at 3pm at home that's usually fine; if she asks at 3pm in the park it's not. Obviously that distinction makes no sense to a toddler! This is partly about my concern about what other people think, which I shouldn't care about, but do.

beemokha, my comment was based on the fact that this is a debate about extended breastfeeding, not about the rights and wrongs of bottle-feeding. You complain that the orignal post is prejudiced, but then your post is equally prejudiced. There are plenty of good reasons why a newborn baby might be given formula, and they have been discussed on MN ad-nauseam, usually with intolerance on both sides - hence my "not this crap again" comment.

I wasn't being rude to you - I am an extended breastfeeder myself, and know the benefits of breastfeeding - but if you dive into a thread with sweeping statements about the repugnance of bottle feeding then you know that you are going to meet with opposition.

No, what people have said "ad nausum" on this website as well as several people on this thread is that what you call "extended" breastfeeding is repugnant.

I would like to say that I find bottlefeeding a baby repugnant ?

Why is "ok" to make the first statement, but not the second ?

You are being just as judgemental that's why.

I don't think it's acceptable to say that either is repugnant, and I'm not the only person on the thread to say that.

Call bottle-feeding repugnant if you like ... it saved my best friend's life when she was abandoned as a baby. Thank God her adoptive parents didn't think it was repugnant.

There are a lot of things in this life that can be called repugnant. Feeding a baby shouldn't be one of them.

the fact that someone poses a question whether it's ok to breastfeed a 4 year old is because this is a discussion forum [rolls eyes]

beemokha, neither statement is reasonable. If someone fed a baby vodka, then that would be repugnant, but formula feed as an alternative to nothing, is an amazing invention and one that has saved babies' lives. As an alternative to breast-milk, obviously it's not as good. But it's not poison, fgs.

I wouldn't say repugnant, just not what I would do. These sorts of threads always descend into you said she said rows as there are always wildly differint opinions.

I think it is more a mothers need rather than for the child though, my friend b/f for nearly 2 years and was really down when she finished, felt her 'baby' had grown away from her.

Don't all jump on my head, I am not saying this is a bad thing.

Seems like after endless threads on the subject some mumsnetters are not getting it.

Some mums want to breastfeed some don't - end of ()

That's simply not true Oliveoil. I dont enjoy bf and cant wait till dd is two to stop. You cant make a child bf.

It wasn't a mothers thing for me, oo, although I do know women for whom it was. I stopped when dd decided she wanted to stop; I always intended to stop when either she or I didn't want to do it any more.

Hercules - why not stop now if you don't like it instead of waiting till 2?

I was quite happy to put ds into nursery full time at 3 and still carried on bf. I 've always worked with dd and couldnt bear to be a sahm and cling on to baby hood. I find baby hood the hardest part of raising kids. Certainly dont want to cling on to it.

Because of the health benefits to her. It's a short time out of my life to give her that start.

My ex was breastfed untill he was 6! he would cmoe home from school and have a feed before bed - i personaly found it a bi creepy but i respect mothers desisions to feed there kids for as lng as they want.

oo, I'm sure for some mothers it is a need, but I've never come across a mother who forces her toddler to bf against the child's will.

And I'm never sure what the problem is about mother's needs - it's as if women are condemned for fulfilling their needs. Society seems to have vaguely accepted the validity of fulfilling sexual needs and socio-economic needs, but when it comes to our emotional needs vis a vis our children, we're condemned for having any.

Yawn. I beg DS to feed. Literally get down on my hands and knees and beg.

I guess I object to sweeping statements about it being the mother's needs for those reasons as it turns extended bf into a mother who people think cant mentally get it to gether to let her child grow up. Yes, I'm sure for lots that's the case but it isnt the reason all people extend feed for.

Still waiting for someone to say it makes a child clingy!