Tiktok are you there? Talk me down from the edge..

[Tinkerisdead]

I cant do a link (im sobbin my heart out and now is not the first time to try) After yesterday where i posted to say my DD had only put on 2oz in 5 weeks and HV had sent me to GP..

Have been to GP who rechecked charts and she has gone from 50th centile to 2nd. She discussed my feelings on formula and early weaning and respected my views but basically told me that DD is nowhere near where she should be, that a plateau of weigt to that extent is not normal. She has advised that I feed her as normal at night but give her formula as well. I raised the issue that surely thats milk that DD will not then seek from me in the night.

Ive come away sobbing, everything ive read says feed feed feed. But I cant get DD to stay on, she feeds around 12 minutes each boob and i even revisit each one afterwards to ensure im emptied. She already feeds every 2 hours and pumping gives me nothing.

Ive read kellymom, ive called la leche, ive called the ABM. I even called my indie midwife. Everyone says feed her more, but I cant make her feed anymore than she is, she just turns away.

I feel like i cant afford to ignore the advice as I feel like ive starved my baby but my head says how can a breast milk substitite be the answer? Please please can someone advise me, im devastated that I dont seem to have done a good enough job.

Just saw this and bumping for you. Am sure someone more knowledgable will be along in a minute.

How old is your DD? Do you know anything about you or your DH's growth patterns as babies? Are you or your DH very petite that could perhaps help to explain the growth?

Is your DD alert? Happy?

not much advice I'm afriad, but here's a link to your old thread
Has she actually lost weight?
You said she's bright and alert and developmentally fine. That to me sounds like a well fed baby whose weight is settling to where it's meant to be, not like a 'starved' baby. What did your GP say about formula affecting your supply?

I have no qualifications in this though, just to say I agree with you! Bumping...

You said she feeds 12 mins from each side is that one after the other and then again in 2 hours?

Sounds like what happened with my DD1, except she was formula fed, so it shows that it's not just breast fed babies this can happen too!! She just didn't put on any weight for 4 weeks, went from above 50th centile, to 2nd centile. She's now 7 and a skinny minny!!

I'm sure someone will be along with some practical advice, just wanted to try and reassure you.

tdw, has baby actually lost any weight or just dropped centiles?

what did LLL/ABM say??

Just saw the old thread. So both you and your DH are fairly petite. Your DD appears to be thriving and happy. She is gaining weight, albeit slowly, not losing any.

Can you ask for a referral to a paediatrician who may perhaps be able to set your mind at rest in some way?

good point stretch - will formula top ups actually help? Especially when the breastmilk is there but the baby just doesn't want to feed more often!!

another thing tdw, has she actually been checked over by a GP to rule out any other probs? uti etc can cause weight loss without other symptoms

Have any of the counsellors you've spoken to observed a feed ? Checked the position and latch ? Pumping is no indication of supply. dd plateaued at about 9 weeks and hte answer was to feed more frequently whether she demanded it or not. She is off the bottom of the charts btw .

DS was born at 37 weeks and was above the 100th centile. At all the relevant checks thereafter he hovered around the 25th centile, causing much debate. He was mixed fed, too, so the formula didn't make much difference to the shift between centiles. He's just skinny! He is 2.5 years now, still breastfeeds, which defied the odds really.

Like you I really worried about the weight shift. I'm sorry I don't have anything constructive to say, but we're listening!

tbh, I would be very worried if my baby (ds2) had only put on 2oz in 5 weeks...

As the mother of a baby who "failed to thrive" (ds1) I would say the following;

Are you getting plenty of wet and soiled nappies i.e. 8-10 a day (more so wet ones for a bf baby as they can go a while without pooing)?

Is she falling asleep on the breast each feed - even during the day? If so, she may be weak and cant feed for any longer (it is much harder for a baby to get milk from a breast than a bottle)

Is she yellow at all? Eyes, soles of feet, lobes of ears? If so, it could be prolonged jaundice - my ds1 had it and it casues loads of problems re: feeding.

Is she alert, wet eyes and lips and meeting her developmental milestones?

If the answer to any of the above are "yes" then I think you need to take on board what the HV and GP are advising.

I know its hard....I spent many days crying over ds1 and his feeding and growth and in the end gave up bf becasue it was what was best for him (he had lots of other problems though, looongg story!)

I hope you get some good advice soon x Good luck x

...and by the way, you are doing a great job!!!

becaroo her DD is 18 weeks

thank you for responding and stealth thanks for doing link.

shes gained 2 ounces in 5 weeks, 4 ounces in 7 weeks. She is thriving in all ways except weight. im just feeding her then i'll be back with info

HOw often does she feed in the night? Can you wake her once or twice more often - or have a dreamfeed if she wouldn't usually?
Not that I necessarily think she needs it, but if it gets her weight up a bit and satifies your HV.

I'm not an expert but incase I don't get back on later, just wondering if you could feed her on the one side for longer, instead of switching over after 12 mins, as she will be getting 2 lots of foremilk in one feed, which is more thirst quenching, I used to only feed from one side at each sitting, and alternate sides for next feed

No disrespect, but you should be listening to your doctor and health visitor here and not worrying about what anyone on this internet forum thinks. They are the ones who have seen your baby, and who have the qualifications to offer expert opinions on the state of her health. The people on these boards are armchair critics with their own agendas. Maybe one or two are qualified to offer an informed opinion, but they cannot see your baby and so it's all moot anyway.

Listen to your doctor. It would be dangerous and irresponsible to do anything else.

Ignore that post if you don't switch after 12mins

bobbysmum07 - I have to say that I disagree. Many health visitors and GPs have little or no training about breastfeeding and obviously breastfeeding counsellors often know far more and can offer a more informed opinion.

My health visitor used to advocate early weaning and told me to ignore the World Health Organisation guidelines, because, in her opinion, "what did they know"? To which I thought, "a damned sight more than you do"

The OP has not yet had a chance to review things with a paediatrician or nutritionist. Her baby is gaining weight, though slowly. Simply resorting to formula may not be the best idea and surely it's best to exhaust all avenues, rather than making hasty decisions which might later be regretted?

bobbys mum I would agree with that but the doctor and health visitor agree that DD is fine, sunny natured, exceeding milestones but her weight is a cause for concern. I completely appreciate you saying people have their own agenda, but it is a shared one. I truly want to avoid formula where possible.

So, I just fed her and I also gave her the only 2oz of EBM i had in the freezer so Ive bought myself a bit of leeway and thinking time.

If I give some more info maybe I can find a solution without formula. I feed her around 10-12 times a day if i think about it, she will look to feed every 2 hours (ie at night) but in day i offer it at will. I have just offered her 2oz of expressed milk and she was not bothered about it really. i got her to take it alongside boob.

when i say she feeds for 12 minutes thats not be swapping her over, initially she was actively feeding for around 3 mins (back when she was at 25th centile) and so now i keep an eye on how long. She does bob on and off taking breaks but in all its about 12 mins of active feeding per breast, i then offer each one again so feeding takes about half an hour with my reattempts. She does sleep 7pm til 2am and wont stir for a dream feed or if she does wake she goes into full meltdown and there is no feeding her at all!

The only other solution would be to pump whatever i could in the 7-2 gap and give that to her alongside her last feed instead of the formula on the next night?

Not sure but maybe you could try to just keep offering same side for full 30 mins, my ds would have fed from one side for 30mins and maybe a quick drink from other side, then I would use other side for next feed

Just got ds1's red book - he was 12lbs 11oz at 18 weeks (just in the 2nd centile) and it was a long hard slog to get him there!

I weaned then, as I thought he was ready.
He gained in the following way, even though his milk intake (ff) was never that great;
22 weeks - 14lbs 110z
26 weeks - 16lbs 8oz
30 weeks - 18lbs 2oz
38 weeks - 19lbs 6oz
52 weeks - 22lbs 12oz

Some babies - whether ff or bf just dont seem to drink much milk and dont gain much weight til they are weaned.

Sorry, I know thats not what you want to hear, but that has been my experience. My ds2 who is 27 weeks today is already 22lbs so no two babies are alike!

Was your dd term? What did she weigh at birth? Any info on your/your dh growth patterns as a baby? Did the GP suggest a paed referral? We got one and he is great! ds1 still sees him x2 a year and he is nearly 6 now.

Got to go and get ds1 his warm milk.....hope the posts are making you feel more positive and that you are not alone x

i get wet nappies, a poo on alternate days which is normal mustard seedy etc. She hasnt been checked over physically by doctor etc as GP felt she was fine physically as she was alert and exceeding milestones.
All counsellors are advsing to feed her more but I cant! I feed at 2am, 4am, 6am, 7.15am, 8.30am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 6pm and last top up at 7pm (to which i just added EBM)

That seems a lot when i look at it but we are at home all day most days and thats me offering her boob after naps/before mother and baby group etc. So taking to my bed and feeding her which is the other advice may not make a difference. No-one except indie midwife has observed feeding and she thought latch was great (never had sore nipples etc ever)

DD was overdue 11 days. weighed 7lb 15.5oz at birth is now 11lb 4oz.

DW have you tried anything (apart from my skanky tea to help make your feeding more efficient? fenugreek, oats, even domperidone? did he GP suggest this as even a possibility?

I wish there was something I could do to help, I really do