Anyone interested in an 'extended' bfers support thread?

[lilysma]

Not sure what I mean by 'extended' exactly - maybe it's a self defined thing?

I define myself as an 'extended' bfer because I hardly know anyone else bfing a child as old as mine (DD is 26 months) and feel the need to discuss some issues with people also doing this and wonder if anyone else does??

Anyone up for an informal support thread on this?

Thanks preggersplayspop , some days are harder than others.

Robber -I don't think bf affects teeth coming through. ome children just get them later than others anyway. Both mine have plenty of teeth and are still bf .

Ds has plenty of teeth too and don't I know it

Started night weaning, but DH wasn't very co-operative... he settled him a couple of times before we went to bed, but then when ds started crying at 12.30am this morning, I had to kick him out of bed to sort him out
And he didn't settle so at 1am I went into feed him. It was awful, he was gripping my nipples with my teeth and I kept taking him off and telling him "no biting" but kept on doing it, in the end I was in tears because my nipples were so painful... I expected to find teeth marks this morning So DH finally came in, apologised and gave ds some water and he settled straight away!
He stirred briefly at 5.20am but when I went to check on him he was sound asleep. I got up at 6.30 this morning, Dh had already got ds up, and I gave him a quick pain free feed... though he was more interested in what daddy had for breakfast. I haven't fed him since... hope he is not weaning himself off as despite our problems I'm not ready

The night weaning is getting better, gave ds last feed before bedtime, ds woke up at 11pm, dh went in and it took him half an hour to settle him, offering him cuddles and water - neither of which he wanted - I could hear him crying angrily and DH said he kept pushing him away So he just put him back into his cot and stayed with him and he stopped and went to sleep. He didn't wake up then until about 5.20 this morning! Went into him a fed him, no biting or scraping!!
Hope it gets better tonight.

Sounds like its going well so far BouncingTurtle. You may have mentioned this before, but do you bf your DS to sleep?

Although my DS has naps at nursery without me, and has gone to sleep with his nana/dad on the odd occasion, mostly I can only get him into a 'sleep-ready' state by bf'ing. He no longer goes to sleep latched on, but I am not sure how I can get him from awake to sleepy without it. Any advice on how you have managed this would be really helpful.

Preggars - I guess I still do on the evening! So I think I was wrong about him wanting to wean, especially when he fell over earlier and the only thing that would console him was mummy's milk. I got a wonderful smile from him!

I did cave in last night... he slept until about 2am, but cried and cried, DH tried to settle him he ended up resorting to letting him CIO, but in the end I went in, cuddled him, but gave him a quick feed and he went straight to sleep until just after 6am.

For anyone who wants to stop feeding to sleep I found these posts a while ago that might be helpful to you.

I thought this might be of interest to you. I found it posted on a different thread.

"DS used to wake and feed back to sleep quite a lot during the night. I always fed him to sleep but I found that if I watched him and detached him when he was just starting to drift off he would fall asleep without having to suck on me! Sometimes he did wake up right away and look for milk again and I would let him have it and then do the same again. Gradually he started to just feed when we first got into bed and then he would roll off me and go to sleep by himself with me just cuddling/patting/stroking him. This meant when he woke during the night I could just pat/stroke/cuddle him and he would fall back asleep by himself without latching on - unless he was genuinely hungry/thirsty. Maybe you can try that? It doesn't involve any crying or a stressed out/worried/upset mummy!"

Here's another one:

"By lou031205 on Fri 02-Jan-09 20:01:07
Papaya, I have one!

When DD was 10 months, I had the same issue. I finally decided that enough was enough.

I chose a day when I felt strong, and stopped night feeds. BUT I have a bedside cot, so I put the cot side down, and every time she looked for comfort by feeding, I made sure the duvet was covering my boobs, and then gave her a big cuddle. I told her she was a big girl now, and that she could do it. At first she cried a little, but she soon realised that she wasn't going to get more than a cuddle. I cuddled her to sleep instead.

6 months on, we have finally got to the stage where she can be put in her cot awake, and she settles herself to sleep.

She has never been left to cry, and she has never had to 'get over it', but by gradually moving from breastfeeding, to cuddling, to holding hands next to her, to holding hands through the bars of the cot (long stage...) to lying on the bed next to the cot but not touching her, we have taught her that she can settle herself to sleep.

The method we used is a bit of a cobbled version of the Dr Jay Gordon method and the No Cry Sleep Solution, with a bit of the baby whisperer thrown in for good measure.

I don't think it is too young at 10 months, IF you are confident that he is not waking because he is hungry - ie. 2 min feeds every 2 hours.

I didn't try sleep training with DD1 until she was 2 because she genuinely seemed to need a cup of milk in the night. She didn't want attention, just milk. When we finally decided to crack down, she had already decided that she didn't need it anyway and had started sleeping through.

With DD2, I knew that she was waking just for the enjoyment of latching on for 2 minutes. So I made changes for my good."

Hey, bouncingturtle is your DS still gnawing on your nips, cos he's passed it to my DD Is bl**dy agony!! Don't remember my nipples feeling so sore- can't even wrap a towel round me without it chafing them. She keeps leaving bite marks just outside the nipple, am hoping she stops this new game soon

Just had a read through of the AIBU about breastfeeding in supermarket thread, but felt too depressed to post (plus Hunker and some others said it so much more eloquently)
I don't know, I just wish we lived in a culture that truly supported women in their breastfeeding efforts. Sick of all this f*cked up prudishness, but make sure you get the baps out for the lads stuff. I yearn to get away to a breastfeeding utopia...anyone know of one

On a positive note I have seen not one but two ladies feeding young toddlers in public in the past week. Perhaps we should have a tally

Biskybat - not as bad as he was, he is getting better especially as we have cut back night feeds.
I missed that thread, have been away for the weekend.

Evening All :-)

Not sure whether I am looking for any responses particularly...suppose I just want to post on this thread to get this 'out'.

DD is 15months old and was exclusively BF for 7 months after spending 9 weeks on NICU. From starting weaning til 12mths she fed anywhere upto 8 times a day.

Since about 13months she she fed just 2-3 times a day - ususally before bed and once in the night with odd day feed if she is overtired/poorly etc.

Lastnight she had a feed at 6pm before bed then slept through til 7am (first time ever she has slept that long :-) ) had food all day then had BF at 6pm this evening. So she went a whole 24hrs without a feed.

I can't put my finger on why but even though I had a whole nights sleep I feel a bit odd going so long with out feeding her. She was absloutely fine and I know full well she could wake and probably will wake in the night for a feed but dunno feel strange that she has only fed once in 24hrs.

When she fed tonight she seemed to 'mess' on one side before having more of a proper feed on the other. This has kind of happened a few times recently. Soem night she feeds well from both side other times she only has a little from one then a fuller feed from the other.

(sorry I know I am waffling)

Anyway suppose I am wondering if she is maybe starting to wean. Has anyone else had anything similar - ie feeding mainly from one side? She has (as have I I suppose) favouired the right side for feeding. So nothing majorly new with this.

If she only feeds once a day is this possible to sustain over a long period or is it the beginning of the end?

Hello everyone, DS is 2.8 and so I guess we qualify for this thread

sorry rascal, x-post

DD only fed at bedtime for months and months before she self-weaned at 24m, so yes, you can feed just once a day for a sustained period.

Just posting here to see if once you pass the 12 mth line are we all waiting to self wean ?
I don't really know dd 14mth and never anticipated to get to here so am i waiting for her to self wean???

Am so glad i have carried on though with her recent stomach upset etc and her injections she has really upped the bf!! Seemed the only thing she could keep down.

Hi Rascal, I've just stopped feeding DS at 22 months. He was on mostly 1 feed a day from about 16 months so yes, we did sustain it. he sometimes went 24-48 hours without feeding and it didn't seem to affect supply. He didn't self wean either, I stopped it.

And when he was ill or wanting more feeds, my supply did seem to keep up with him so don't worry, I'm sure it's not the end of BF ing for you.

Thanks for the reassurances..she's waking as I type so looks like she will be feeding more tonight

I haven't posted on here for ages, but just wanted to report that ds (3.4yo) has suddenly stopped feeding through the daytime!!

I was going out tonight, and had to leave before he was in his PJs, so I asked him if he wanted milk now, or if he wanted to wait until the morning. He chose the morning!! So, tonight, for only the third time in his life, he went to bed without a breastfeeding.

I am pleased that he is finally becoming less reliant on it, but also beginning to feel a bit sad that we are coming to an end. Saying that, he might not drop the morning/night/middle of the night feeds for years yet!!

This may all have a good effect on ttc though. This month I ovulated on day 12 which is the earliest ever since bfeeding. I had a pink implantaion bleed, but it didn't make it. However, this is much further than I have got previously with ttc, so hopefully a good sign.

@ duck mugging Danae!
I am clearly not at the negotiating stage yet. The other day I was meeting with an advisor chap at home, dh looking after dd. She fell in the garden and nettled her poor hands (I didn't know this until later) and she was distraught that I was unable to feed her. We tried to delay and distract her a bit, but she broke her little heart crying for num nums, and daddy was not decent consolation. I feel rotten now that I didn't just stop the meeting and feed her.

Aww Mawbroon! Good luck with the TTCing, it is looking hopeful!

VLC- aww poor dd! DS is going through a bit of a phase when he falls over lots and it's the end of the world - if I'm around he needs booby to console himself, but generally he is fine if I am not there, but not always! I went out last night, and he was hysterical - I fed him and put him in his cot, but he kept reaching for me DH eventually took him off me as it was clear he wanted me to hold him, but I needed to go. He went to sleep shortly afterwards.
Earlier in the day I was out shopping, ds fell over and he was sibbing his heart out looking for me Dh took him all around the house to show him I was out and as soon as I got home, he was reaching for me and wanting booby!!

DH and I have been having long discussions about how BF is going. I had the most awful bite from 13 mo DD on Sunday morning, I let out an almighty yell and burst into tears , DH came running in to find me with a blood-covered boob and DD looking very upset. I was on tenterhooks feeding her last night, expecting at any second to have another horrible bite, but it was fine. She finished feeding and sat up and just buried her head into my shoulder and gave me the loveliest cuddles, as if to say sorry for the biting.
Today I have covered my nipple in Kamillosan and am wearing a breast pad for the first time in months and months, to try and give it some cushioning. Nipple is a horrid dark purple bruised colour.
Since I've been on Mumsnet I've read so much about the benefits of natural-term BF that I don't want to stop, but if I get another bite like this I'm just not sure...I've only just healed from the previous bite which was a clean cut from a very sharp new tooth. Or will it get better as DD gets older and can understand what NO BITING means?

Bettymum - ow!!! Luckily ds has never bit me hard enough to leave a mark! There has been a few suggestion on this thread as to what to do about biting.

Praise required for DH! On dropping DSS(8yo) at his mum's house, she asked if I was still bfing ds.
DH : Yes.
DSS's mum : Why??
DH : Because he still wants it.
DSS's mum : well it's weird.
DH : No it's not. The WHO recommend bfing for 2 years and beyond.
DSS's mum : Not in this country! (She then starts coming out with a load of pychological bullshit about attachment problems.
DH : Right, so the WHO and the rest of the world are wrong then? I suggest you keep quiet before discussing a subject you know nothing about.
She starts ranting at him at this point and he just says "Whatever" and walked out.
Oh DSS was bottlefed, she did try to bf apparently but she couldn't.
I'm wondering if she is now going to start trying to lay down the law and saying I shouldn't bf DS in front of DSS!
Which I won't - DSS doesn't take any notice of it as he is used to it. To him, it is perfectly normal what I am doing!
Or maybe I should?? I think I might have to start an AIBU on this...

Hello again!

Can I just come on here again and complain that I don't even feel normal at a BF support group. The peer supporters all seem to have stopped at around a year, and my DS (who has a healthy appetite for solids) at 13.5mo feeds more than some recently weaning (no they didn't start at 4mo) 7mo boys! (They also sleep as well or better than my DS!)

It all seemed a bit odd to me, only having experience of my little boob-monster. At 7mo he was BF with a bit of fruit, veg, toast and yoghurt on the side.

I just felt so very different from everyone else and although I know DS is doing great, it does make me feel somehow on the sidelines.

Danae,
Lol at the chair leg. Your poor DD, she must really have had sore gums to be gnawing on a chair!
DD may have teeth coming through, she doesn't seem to really show any signs when they are coming so it's hard to tell, but she could well have more on the way and that might explain it. I don't feel outrage or crossness that she bit me, and I don't want to be a martyr either, I just want to do what I think is best for DD, which is to keep feeding her as long as she seems to want and enjoy it. I don't think she really knows what I was yelling at yesterday, poor thing. Anyway I am going to keep going for now and we'll see how it goes.