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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Anyone else prepared to admit that they didn't b/f just because they didn't want to ??

650 replies

IllegallyBrunette · 02/01/2009 19:46

Just wondered really.

I have 3 dc and didn't breast feed any. I was 19 when I had dd1 and was asked by a midwife if i'd be breastfeeding and I said no. There was no argument or discussion, that was that.

When I had dd2 at 34 weeks she had to be tube fed. I offered to express milk for her but was told i needn't bother.

With ds, again I didn't want to but even if I had it would have been hard as he was supposed to be on phototherapy 24/7 for a week.

I think the attitude towards ff mums on this forum by some bf mums is disgusting. I would never dream of saying anything against any mum for feeding her baby by whichever way she chooses, yet some of the comments on here like 'formula should only be available if there is a proven medical need' are just awful.

OP posts:
hercules1 · 03/01/2009 18:29

Auntiemaggie - that's not how breastfeeding works re nutrients

StealthPo09IsHere · 03/01/2009 19:02

"just don't get how they can prove the obesity thing unless they compare babies as they grow who all have same diet etc."

But unless they took a load of people into a sealed room and controlled everything about them including their smoking habits, they couldn't have proved the smoking = higher risk of cancer thing by that logic.

Froginmythroat · 03/01/2009 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

subtlemouse · 03/01/2009 19:08

FF can help bonding, esp if dads do the 2am feed leaving mums to sleep. Certainly helped the Parent Bond in this house...

StealthPo09IsHere · 03/01/2009 19:10

lol sm
With DH, feeding was always a 2 man job. I would sort out the bottle and take it to him, then hover with a muslin

hercules1 · 03/01/2009 19:11

lol too sm

ilovelovemydog · 03/01/2009 19:11

I was talking to a friend of mine who's quite elderly (80?). She was a nurse in WW II and said that the 'done' thing was to feed until 6 months and then stop. Completely.

bubbleymummy · 03/01/2009 19:15

ilovelovemydog, I heard something completely different from my grandparents who remember children being breastfed well into toddlerhood in wwII due to the lack of food/milk etc...

bubbleymummy · 03/01/2009 19:16

sorry - that should be childhood - they were fed beyond toddlerhood.

tiktok · 03/01/2009 19:39

AuntieMaggie, fortunately a mother can be on a crap diet and still produce top-notch quality milk for her baby - there is a lot of research on this.

bubbleymummy · 03/01/2009 19:45

Yes, my midwife worked in Africa for several years with some very malnourished women who were successfully breastfeeding their children.

Umlellala · 03/01/2009 19:47
NotBigJustBolshy · 03/01/2009 19:48

tiktok, how does that work then? Genuine question, I'm really interested: where do the nutrients for the milk come from if the mother is eating a crap diet, particularly if they are doing extended bf? (Thinking about how much of my hair fell out both times and didn't start growing back until I gave up bf at the 2 year mark..)

Maria2007 · 03/01/2009 20:15

Tiktok, I'm also interested in more info on mother's diet having an effect on breastmilk. Have wondered about this. My hunch is that good milk takes very little to be produced, i.e. if a mother is starving she's not going to be able to produce good milk, but in other situations it should be ok. But since I don't know much about this, would be interested to find out more (also because, like Umlellala, I've not been particularly....errr...careful about my diet recently!!)

FairLadyRantALot · 03/01/2009 20:20

hmm...not sure this is a good link and answers your questions....but it might, and it looks quite interesting....it is more about malnourished mums, but.....some of it still may answer marias and nbjb's posts.....if irrelevant, I apologize

MsSparkle · 03/01/2009 20:22

Why is ff only seen as a bad thing if you choose to do it? If you haven't been able to bf for whatever reason and have to ff, people often tell you not to worry, it's no big deal, you tried etc.

Maria2007 · 03/01/2009 20:23

thanks, interesting link! Well if what it says is true, then a good diet and lots of water seem to definitely help (if anything, to keep the mother energetic & healthy). It seems though that (as I suspected) the baby can pretty much get what he/she needs even from a relatively unhealthy mother.

FairLadyRantALot · 03/01/2009 20:26

hmm....possibly because people don't understand why someone would chose not to bf when it kind of is the obvious option...iykwim....butif someone ends up ff because of problems that person will get sympathy, because they are in that situation without chosing to be.....
not sure I am making sense...

FairLadyRantALot · 03/01/2009 20:28

indeed maria....no one ever said though that a good diet etc. isn't going to be beneficial....just that it is not the be all and end all if it isn't there....and I certainly know that I said, forinstance, that good nutrition is important to all mothers , no matter how they feed....I would even go as far as saying, that good nutrition is equally important to all people....

makemineagecko · 03/01/2009 20:45

If I have a third child, I will be choosing to FF.

I tried BF both my children. With dd1 it was agony and I never really understood why, but gave up pretty sharpish and happily FF her.

DD2 I wanted to try so much to BF again. Unfortunately she was born with her lungs stuck together, a hole in her heart and no sucking reflex. She spent time in SCBU and I spent much of it attached to an expressing pump. I produced nothing. I mean nothing.

When dd2 came out of SCBU I put her to the breast and the agony I'd had with dd1 resurfaced. In the end the midwives helped me to make the decision to FF. I felt like a complete loser.

So, I can guarentee, without any hesitation, that any future child will be FF from birth. I am not putting myself through the bitter disappointment (and subsequent PND) I felt both times.

I now couldn't give two hoots about BF. Not doing it initially made me so miserable that I felt I must be a terrible mother and depriving my children. But do you know what? I'm a great mum! And my girls are healthy and intelligent and the correct weight etc etc.

MsSparkle · 03/01/2009 21:16

"possibly because people don't understand why someone would chose not to bf when it kind of is the obvious option..."

Well to my mind those people are a little narrow minded. People choose not to bf for all different reasons and it's not up to anyone else to judge that persons choices. There are many, many things that people could do to benefit their health, which are the obvious options but don't because of whatever reason.

I think bf is a very good option to take, just as eating a good healthy diet and taking regular excersize is too (for
adults.) But how many women are out there who are lecturing other women about bf yet are clearly egnoring the sensible advice given about diet, excersize and even egnoring the obvious advise about not smoking and drinking too much? Imo, maintaining good health is important throughout your whole life, not just in the first 6 months of life.

MsSparkle · 03/01/2009 21:17

exercise even

Umlellala · 03/01/2009 21:42

I agree MsSparkle

FairLadyRantALot · 03/01/2009 21:51

hmm...because not taking excercise/eat healthily yourself is a decision you make for yourself...but deciding not to bf means you also make a decision for your child....

Honest, I know it's not a black and white issue....but...if someone would come up to me and say I will not breastfeed without explanation or with just socio-cultural reasons against it..I would challenge it...

FairLadyRantALot · 03/01/2009 21:53

btw...for me, personally, bf is just an extension of pg....there is , for me, nothing weird about pg/labour/birth or bf....it is all part of the same thing....