Seriously considering FF

[kayzr]

I am seriously considering FF. I am struggling with BF and feeling pretty down about it.

I find it hard to get DS2(5 days old) to latch on, he just pushes my breast away with his hand. It takes about 10 minutes to get him on. Once he is on he is usually ok but sometimes just falls asleep after a few minutes.

My breasts especially the left one feel very hard, painful and boiling hot. The right one isn't as bad but its still very uncomfortable.

He has been feeding for up to an hour on one breast but today MW said to take him off after a 15-20 minutes and put him on the other side. But whenever I try that he hardly ever latches on again.

I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall and feel terrible.

Thanks for 'listening'.

Oh and he was 10lb 5oz when he was born and yesterday he weighed 9lb 6oz which has really upset me too as the MW said he was borderline on whether they were worried about him.

Boiling hot? That doesn't sound right. Did you mention that to your MW?

Yes I did this morning and she said it was normal at this time as my milk is still coming in and to just massage the breast from my under arm down.

Hmm. Did she have a look? I'm going to see if tiktok or hunker are around.

kayzr - the weight loss is within normal limits for a baby of 4 days. I don't know why the midwife is concerned about it.

Hot, painful hard breasts are not normal, but presumably the midwife has ruled out anything worrying. Sometimes this sort of thing can be very transitory as milk comes in.

Have you tried baby self-attachment and/or biological nurturing positions?

No she didn't have a look.

I've been expressing but I was told it could make it worse by making more milk than DS2 needs so making them more engorged.

kayzr you need more help than most of us will be able to give you, but it's OK because there are a number of helplines which have trained counsellors who can help you through this.

This link lists the numbers for the helplines on the right hand side of the page

I know it cn be daunting but please try the lines - they are manned by volunteers so might not always be able to deal with your enquiry immediately but I can promise that they will try hard to help you get through this.

You've done so very well to come this far, and you're at probably the hardest stage right now, so there's a good chance you're approaching easier times if you can persevere. I know how awful it is when your boobs are so hard and sore, it's almost unbearable. In the meantime, try to have a hot shower and direct the stream onto your breasts, and massage towards the nipples while you're in there. Then feed soon after you come out. Also, if your baby is sleepy, try to keep offering the breast as frequently as you can.

Will you see a MW again tomorrow?

The only positions I know are having him on a pillow on my lap, under my arm or lying down in bed.

Huh. So you tell her you have hot hard painful breasts, one side more so than the other, and she doesn't even look? Never heard about expressing making breasts more engorged. was that the mw as well?

Ah, titok's here - she knows her stuff

Good luck

Yep, givethedog is right, expressing a bit off (15ml) using a handpump can make it easier for your LO to latch on, and help draw out your nipple.

It will get easier. Lots of babies are very sleepy creatures in the first month or so, just keep offering a breast when he is awake, don't bother trying to impose any routine in the early months. If he keeps dropping off on the breast, try to remove a layer of clothing (to cool him down and wake him up) or change his nappy and put him back on.

HTH

I've had 2 different MWs since having him and they have told me different things.

Yesterday the mw said to express to help my milk come in and to give DS2 EBM so he doesn't lose more weight. Today another mw said not to express as it will make them worse and that giving EBM is going to ruin BF.

Yep, another good tip - but tricky when you are just starting off, although if you are prone to engorgement/blocked ducts changing positions is recommended, so worth persevering with that. Basically you hold the baby under your arm (as opposed to across your knees), so the baby would be curled around the left side of your body, for example, and latched onto the left breast. You can pile up pillows on that side to help you, but I remember finding all these positions v tricky at first. It does get easier

Well, that's not helping at all. You poor soul - it's tough enough to start with without getting mixed messages like that. I would call a bf counsellor, as IAte says, and read bits of the site she linked - that's Hunker's blog, and it's v. good.

Sorry, x-posts with nappy - I meant conflicting mw advice isn't going to help!

IME pumping off a bit milk really helped the baby get a latch. I used an oral syringe (from the chemist) to get the 10-15ml of EBM into him, and a teaspoon once, so there was no issue with nipple confusion (is that what your MW is referring to?) You could always freeze any EBM for use in a few weeks anyway if your MW is not keen on introducing a bottle at this stage. (Most HVs/MWs reckon to hold back on bottle teats until about 3-5wks to let baby get familiar with your nipple first).

I don't see how expressing off a tiny amount to improve his latch would worsen the engorgement, you're not talking about sitting there and pumping for 20mns between feeds, are you?!

IMHO just offering your LO a breast when he is awake will help your milk come in. Lots of cuddles and contact and let nature take its course. Don't stress over the weight issue, as I said, a bit of loss is normal, and your DS has not lost a critical amount.

After a week or so he should start gaining little increments, and once that happens you will stop stressing over it so much! Other signs to watch for are wet nappies (about 5-6 a day) and (as he gets older, say 4-5 wks) more alertness when he is awake. It's hard when they are sleepy and freshly born, as you never know what you are looking for, but it is very early days yet, so don't give up and don't feel bullied into giving formula, it sounds like you are doing fine and the setbacks you are experiencing are absolutely normal.

Small amounts hand expressed off just to soften the breast - that should be fine.

Kayzr- I am not surprised you are feeling confused and a bit down. You need good real life help. The midwives should look at your breasts to check this hotness etc is not worrying. A call to any of the helplines should help you see the way forward - ask the helplines about baby self-attachment, or when you see the midwife, tell her you have been confused and conflicted, and ask her about these positions.