Seriously considering FF

[kayzr]

I am seriously considering FF. I am struggling with BF and feeling pretty down about it.

I find it hard to get DS2(5 days old) to latch on, he just pushes my breast away with his hand. It takes about 10 minutes to get him on. Once he is on he is usually ok but sometimes just falls asleep after a few minutes.

My breasts especially the left one feel very hard, painful and boiling hot. The right one isn't as bad but its still very uncomfortable.

He has been feeding for up to an hour on one breast but today MW said to take him off after a 15-20 minutes and put him on the other side. But whenever I try that he hardly ever latches on again.

I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall and feel terrible.

Thanks for 'listening'.

I remember the frustration. I remember sitting up at 3 in the morning crying because my boobs were so tight and hot, and DS was just so sleepy or when he did try to latch he seemed to flail his arms around and slip off. I remember the anxiety building in aniticipation - would he latch on or not?

But once the engorgement passed (which is what you're experiencing by the sounds of things) he started to latch on more easily and feed quicker. You're doing so, so well - try not to feel terrible because you're doing a brilliant job. Keep telling yourself - it won't be like this forever!

Yesterdays MW said that nipple confusion doesn't exist so a bottle of EBM is ok but today's said it does exist.

I'm going to give one of the helplines a call tomorrow.
I just feel awfully confused.

Oh kayzr no wonder you're having such a bad time if you're getting mixed messages like that.

Please do phone one of the lines - the people manning them have way more experience and knowledge about BFing than many midwives will, so you can trust their advice. In the meantime I think it's best avoid bottles, but as tiktok said hand expressing to make latching easier can really help you

I'm going to have a look for a syringe in the chemist.

He has just fed for about 30 minutes(I am impressed how quick I learnt to type one handed) and it is already feeling a bit better.

Well done you - so glad it's feeling better. Keep at it - it will pay off!

I'm going to bed now but keep posting if you need support, there's usually someone around even in the wee small hours! Sending you lots of good vibes

Thanks everyone.
It really helps to know that there are lovely people here to help me.

my maths is rubbish but isn't that about 10% of his bodyweight? ie safe, allowed weightloss???

Morning,
We had a really good night. He latched on pretty much straight away and he slept in his moses basket.

Kat, The MW said he was right on the cusp of it being worrying weight loss.

I'm hoping that it will continue to go well for the rest of the day. He is being weighed again tomorrow and I'm slightly worried about it.

They all say different stuff. My MW said 10% was expected and fine. Mine lost 17% and she was very calm about it (although I did top up because I still couldn't get him to latch properly by that point)
I think the weightloss is worrying you needlessly. He was a big baby and big babies often lose more I believe - but even so, 10% is fine.
I think I read that you didn't BF your first for long so you didn't get through the horrible first stage - BF didn't work out as I planned (never managed to do it exclusively) but I swear, once I got through the first few weeks, it's so worth it, it's just lovely and so much easier than bottles, I hate the bloody things.

Kayzr - ds was 10lb 5oz when born, and 9lbs 3oz at 1 week. My mw was not concerned - so sounds as though you're doing better than we did. I did find the rugbyball hold quite good with ds as you could tuck his arms out of the way more easily - I had a nursing pillow that he lay on underneath my arm. In fact, I found a nursing pillow really useful - it was much more supportive than a normal pillow, helped to get him to about the right height so that it wasn't so tiring 'holding him up' (given the weight) and I could then effectively use my hands to fine position him and keep his hands out of the way.

I know some NCT breastfeeding councillors and know that they can be really helpful.

I hope things are continuing well.

kayzr - the weight loss is fine cusp or no cusp She should not have worried you like this, IMO.

To be honest, it sounds to me as if you are quite anxious and looking anxiously for something to fix everything - the use of the syringe, topping up, expressing and so on is all so flippin complicated and the baby is less than a week old Just chilling, feeding often, holding often and accepting that the baby will need human contact to relax and sleep....all this is going to help more than anything, I think

I also wonder in these circs how helpful the internet is! People on mumsnet are great and supportive, but it becomes another minefield of suggestions, ideas, comment and really, you are best off cuddling your baby than wading through everything we say on here

Kat I tried to BF DS1 and started FF on day 3. That was also because of different MWs and different advice.

We've been having a cuddle all morning and he is happily sleeping on DH now.

Glad to hear it's going better! I wasn't impressed with how much different info I was given - and ended up finding here the best and most informative place. As long as you can crack latching on I think you will be fine. I wouldn't bother taking him off every 20 mins if he is happy sucking - I remember one MW saying gaily 'if it hurts, just take him off and latch him on again'...after telling her it took me an hour to latch him on. FFS. I didn't care if he chewed my nipples off once he was on there! But I couldn't really do it properly until he was about 10 days old so you are doing well. Loads of babies lose weight then gain it back and I'm sure that's because BF is often really hard to get going.

Good for your Kayzr. Can only reiterate what people have said here, i.e. that the weightloss doesn't sound worrying, so don't let it stress you. It will get easier. Good luck tomorrow, let us know how it goes, and for goodness sake, post on MN before you get pressurised into introducing formula, if only to get some more uptodate advice from MNers like tiktok (who helped me when I BF DS1 3 yrs ago) or mears (another regular who posts brilliant BF advice).

Good luck to you my dear, these first few weeks are hard, no one knows how hard until they have been through it themselves. Big hug.

Hope today has been better for you

Today has been a bit better. Had a moment earlier where he was screaming to be fed but wouldn't latch on. I think he was to stressed but eventually went on.

I am a bit worried that he doesn't seem to want to feed very often. I am waking him every 3 hours but sometimes I can't get him to take anything.

But he has just had 55 minutes so fingers crossed we'll have a decent night.

Dreading the weighing tomorrow. Hopefully it will be ok.

kayzr - think i have posted on one of your other threads. 1stly i would ignore your confused MWs and listen to tiktok who really knows her stuff

if its any consolation, i found breastfeeding the loneliest experience ever in the early days. i used to sit on the bed in the middle of the night when DH was asleep crying my eyes out as DS2 wouldnt latch, then would pull off, then would arch is back and scream. I found it really difficult to believe something so "natural" was so difficult.

although weight loss is normal, i wouldnt get too stressed about actual numbers. You already have one LO so you know what a healthy happy baby is like. trust your instinct.

although i;m not a BFing expert, i do stand my the advice that you should only BF until BFing is established so your milk supply is good and the baby has learned to feed.

you are doing fine and it will work out. it is still early days. Both you and your LO have to learn a new skill. I found that i set myself small targets like "will do the next feed and then see how i feel before i give him formula". DS2 is now 15weeks old and does get 1 bottle of formula a day as DH wanted to feed him and i just couldnt express.

good luck (and sorry for the essay)

Last night was pretty good again. He only woke up once and although it was an hour long feed, I feel much more awake.

MW still hasn't been. I wish they would tell me a time so I don't spend all day sat inside waiting.

I am hoping his weight will be ok and that they don't try to make me FF.