If you were definitely going to breastfeed when pregnant and didn't (or didn't for very long) once your baby was born

[hunkermunker]

Is there anything that could've been said or done to help you to breastfeed for longer?

yes, but am actually very sad about the whole thing at the mo. so will come back to it at a later date

DS1 - no, didnt BF at all in the end and nothing on earth would have changed my mind.

DS2 - I BF for almost 2 weeks. Gave up because it was so incredibly painful. DS was putting on weight and doing fine and midwife and HV all said 'latch looks ok to me, baby is putting on wight so just keep at it'
If someone had been able to tell me that the pain would def stop within a week or something like that I would have stuck it out longer I think.

decent advice about implications of top-ups on supply, and how to rebuild supply and taper off formula.

My dd was ill and dehydrated, she needed formula top up - I was literally toe-curlingly sore. Neither of us enjoyed it but I was in hospital for a week with a lot of help, not sure anything else could have been done.

Oh, Lulu I hope I haven't upset you further.

Thank you, 2point4kids and TC - good points [adds to list]

Podrick, cross-posted there. Poor you

No, it was because my DD was stillborn.

Yes.

With dd, someone to show me how to do it for more than 2 minutes, and also to explain how a jaundiced (ie, very sleepy) baby should be dealt with. I also misunderstood the term feeding on demand.

With ds, for someone to explain why I got headaches after I fed him (not initially though) And for more support for 2nd time, or plus, mothers.

And for some literature or an ante-natal group just for fathers so they could have some understanding of how to support their partners who wanted to bf.

I was adamant that I was going to with DD. Had no bottles or anything and when it came to it- I just didn't like it . I hate to say it (please don't flame me as I am only being honest) but it just felt 'wrong' it felt a bit 'sexual'. I do think I have a lot of breast 'ishoos' surrounding my breast reduction and think that had a major part to play.

Where to start?
I had twins so lots more information would have been great that was applicable to my situatuion. There was no point lots of lovely touchy feely mums with one lo in a sling telling me that 'it's just so much easier than bottles.'
I would have loved a successful twinsmum breast feeder to take me through it...best positions, how to increase milk supply...what to do when both screaming.
I would have loved someone to talk me through mixed feeding.
I would have loved some decent advice on sore nipples because two at it is very wearing on the old soft spots.
It still upsets me because they both have rotten allergies.

no. Unfortunately I was one of the rare (1% isn't it?) that didn't produce milk.

I produced lots of lovely collostrum, and latch was apparently good and I had lots of support in hospital, but once the collostrum went nothing ever came to replace it. You hear about women leaking milk everywhere - that didn't happen with me - in fact once there was no collostrum there was nothing, no matter how I tried.

So I had no option really.

yep - I BF for 7 weeks - had a reflux baby who fed for hours

i was totally demoralised and thought i was doing something "wrong"

i spent over £120 for a lactation consultant to come and see me and i still gave up the next day

my HV knew nothing about breastfeeding and never observed a feed or had any advice

so, i think more front line advice and well informed advice in the first few weeks would have been most welcome

like, tis normal for a baby to feed a lot
expressing is no indication of what you a producing
more help with holds and checking the latch (had a nasty bout of mastitis too)

i am still upset that i didn't BF for longer

and I too was adament - didn't have any bottles or anything and had to send dh out.

no, not in my case, I don't think. I hadn't imagined just how tied down and restricted I would feel, being the only one able to feed the baby. And I did feel self-conscious feeding in front of other people. My problem.

However, I was very annoyed that not a single professional told me before the birth that breastfeeding can be bloody difficult and very painful. I felt I was the only one to have difficulties, no one experienced pain, bleeding nipples etc. It was as if they had been told never to mention it. I'd've liked to know the practical facts. Sheer crazy determination made me continue for as long as I did (not long). They all told me the position/the latch was wrong and it wasn't. It can just hurt a lot with some people for a period of time.

I did it for longer with dd2 but still reacted badly to feeling 'tied' and wanted other people to be able to feed her easily before I went back to work.

no, I don't think so. I had lots of support and encouragement but I really didn't have enough milk. I tried everything to boost supply, but it didn't increase.
I guess the only thing that might have helped would have been to know that possibly my refusal of a blood transfusion (hb levels were borderline) and the resulting anaemia would affect my milk supply. But that doesn't always happen, I was just unlucky I think.

If I was given more help at home, more time spent with me feeding an showing me how to do it, it could have worked for me.
Especially with my last one (ds2).

But as it was, the MW's were very very short staffed, not that thats big news, and they said that the only way they could give me lots of time and help was if I went into hospital.
Bearing in mind I had all of my antenatal appts at home and a home birth because I have a fear of hospitals.

I would definately have not breast fed ds1 because he had very bad reflux and had to have a prescribed formula to help him.
But given the right help, I would and could of done it with dd and ds2.

really wanted to breastfeed ds1, even brought the steriliser and pump and bottles so dh could do it and not feel left out.

I just couldnt do it had mastitus(sp) and was way to painfull, sore cracked nipples, i did for the first 2 days before the mastitus set in and ds just screamed the whole time. It was due to not enough milk coming out, have to say felt like a bad mommy at first but then when i seen how satisfied ds was on bottles i knew it was the right decision

ds2 didnt even consider it as ds1 is now 7 and has ASD and i knew if i spent all my time bf ds2 there would be no time for ds1, also ds1 was able to bond with ds2 as he helped to bottle feed ds2

I posted about this the other day as I have strong regerets over not managing to bf my last two dd's .

DD3 I started out bf and had trouble getting her latched on noone offered any help and I got a massive blister on my boob ,on day 4 a friend who had done a 3 day bf course came in and saw me feeding she said "Oh you are doing it all wrong" which left me in tears and I gave up the next day.

DD4 I had a bad and long labour and she had low BS they gave her a FF without even asking and about 5 hours later I asked for some help to get her latched on and the midwife said "Oh you can't chop and change like that" and me been stupid gave her a FF
My community midwife did go mad at this and tried to help me reestablish bf but dd was poorly and ended up in hospital with a serious illness so it all went to pot TBH .

I am pg again and am determined to bf I saw my community midwife ywsterday and a new center has opened up the road from me with bf drop in groups and bf workers in a few months she is going to put me in touch with them and she said she is going to support me 100% with the bfeeding ,she has also advised me to get out of hospital asap (I cant have homebirth high risk) after the birth .

I am also hoping for lots of MN support [hint hint}

I think so, though not sure what.

DS1, I didn't even decide I was going to BF, just kind of knew it from the first time the thought of feeding came into my head. Thought it would be easy. He fed every hour, on the hour for half an hour 24 hours a day, so he was feeding for half an hour, then stopped for half an hour, then back on for half an hour. I had so much milk I spent the whole 6 weeks absolutely soaked, I got to the point where I even stopped trying to use breast pads because they were just full up and soaked through in 10 minutes. I had no help or advice, or support, or, well anything really. I was absolutely exhausted, had a nasty infection in my stitches that still hadn't healed, HV suggested giving him formula, I jumped at the chance, from that first formula feed, he just sicked up any breast milk, so within a few days he was completely on formula.

DS2, I was determined to give BF another go, within an hour of getting home from hospital a local BFC rang me, she came to see us, gave me some very valuable advice, let me know if there were any problems she was on the end of the phone or would come out to us at any time of the day or night. As it was, feeding him was as easy as I thought it was going to be with DS1, never had even a slight problem.

I do still wonder if just the fact that I had confidence in her support made the difference in feeding, and if I'd have had someones support and advice like that with DS1, maybe I could have found a solution other than formula.

no, pain was too great, and only got worse the more I tried to "feed through it." Also had reflux babies (both DS and DD) which made feeding a screaming pain for both of us to start with.

Most useful were the midwives who comforted me when I cried with guilt after admitting defeat and giving up. They should all be able to comfort so well...

Sorry never put what would have helped

If someone had told me that its normal for it to hurt in the first few weeks.

If there had been more family support IE my mum not looking at me like I was a nutter for wanting to bf.

If the mws in the hospital actually spent some time helping you get positioning right especially IME when you have had more than one child they seem to expect you to know what you are doing.

I did this woth both children.
DS is 8 and i was completely insistant i wanted to breast feed. Things went well in hospital and we got established, then back at home my milk came in very fast, i would have to put a bowl under one breast and feed from the other and by the end of the feed i had a good 3oz in the bowl, i was housebound becasue i produced milk (in the words of the midwife)'like a cow'!!!! At night i had to wear cut up towels and change every time i fed and it got exhausting!!!!! thats when i changed to bottles. once i stopped feeding my milk dried up in days!
with DD i was sure i could manage longer but at 10 days old she was admitted to hospital with bronchiolitis and i stayed with her to feed, that was fine but becasue i was on my own with her for most of the day i didnt have a great diet, hospital did not provide food for parents even breast feeding mums with newborns!!! My Dh bought in food but not till 5pm and so i would eat fruit in morning then nothing all day and as a result my milk production slowed right down! I was also having problems getting her to latch on with the oxygen tubes and it took the nurses 2 days before they could get a midwife over from maternity to help me! I was also recovering from a c section and it all got too much!
My next baby i want to breast feed for longer but who knows!!!!!

I really wanted to breastfeed, did not buy any bottles, formula or even a pump. I had watched my mum b/f all 6 of us kids, so expected it to be easy.

I then had a difficult induced delivery, ending in forceps and an episiotomy, where I lost a lot of blood. Ds was very sleepy for the first few days of his life, and I was kept in hospital for two days because he wouldn't feed. The midwives tried to show me how to latch him on, but because I have flat nipples, he found it almost impossible. In the end, they got me to express colostrum which they cup-fed to ds. Then they gave me a nipple shield, and said that would help him to latch on. They gave him SMA with a cup as well, because they said he was getting dehydrated, and was a bit jaundiced. Eventually, I told them that he was feeding successfully because I just wanted to go home.

When I got home I tried to feed with the nipple shield on, but it was agonisingly painful, and felt like he was biting on the end of my nipple. I was determined to persevere, but the next day the midwife came out and said that giving him the nipple shield was a really bad thing to do, and that he was unlikely to feed properly. By this time my episiotomy had burst, and I had had enough.

I got dh to buy some bottles and a hand pump, and I expressed continuously for 2 weeks. After that, the milk seemed to be slowing down, and my midwife told me I wouldn't be able to keep it up because ds was a big baby (9lb 7oz). Then I got an infection in one breast, and had pus coming out of my nipple - I was also on antibiotics for an infection in my episiotomy, so gave up on breastfeeding very reluctantly.

I'm still quite upset about what happened, and I would love to know what I could have done to be more successful - everyone seemed to say different things. I'm now 7+5 pg with my 2nd, and definitely want to bf. I have an Avent Niplette to try and help with the flat nipples, but a bit dubious about using it in early pg, I know it can't be used in the 3rd trimester also.

It's very helpful to hear these suggestions as a student midwife. The sad truth is that we are so bloody busy that we don't get the time to spend with breastfeeding mums but we have 'baby friendly' status and we really try to make sure women have 'cracked it' before we send them home.