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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Pregnant and Nursing Support Thread

535 replies

TinkerBellesMum · 25/07/2008 10:06

I thought I'd start up a support group, for those of us pregnant, with an older nursling. If you are pregnant at the moment or tandeming or have done in the past and want to add your support, please post!

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and have a 2 and a week year old. One of the first things I noticed about being pregnant was my nipples felt bruised like she'd bitten me. 8 weeks later not much has changed and I'm still spending every feed saying "gentle please".

Someone please tell me it gets easier!

I'm also starting to feel quite full and hard.

I keep getting told by my family I'll have problems tandem feeding "and how many mothers do you know who have done it?" My dad was grilling me the other day about tandeming and when I'll stop Tink nursing. He's a radiographer. I made him agree with me "Well, you know yourself that when the adult teeth come through because they're in a totally different order to the milk teeth the jaw changes shape" "Yes and around the same time the soft spot in the jaw fuses" "That change makes it impossible for them to continue nursing, that's why they got called milk teeth" lol how could he argue when he'd just backed my argument up!

OP posts:

constancereader · 09/10/2008 20:20

I got braxton hicks when nursing too, from about a month before my due date.

I have been so surprised by how surprised all the midwives have been that I am still nursing my 21 month ds. I thought they would have seen it all before but it seems not. The midwife in charge of the hospital ward actually asked me how it all worked and thanked me for the information afterwards!!! It was nice they weren't judgemental but you would have thought they would KNOW about such issues themselves.

InTheDollshouse · 09/10/2008 20:37

Dryad, your GP sounds great.

Constance, how long did they last - the BHs?

constancereader · 09/10/2008 21:37

They were stronger for a few minutes after finishing nursing, but I had them lots at other times too. They were really painful as the baby was lying back to back, as soon as she moved they were much less painful.

Lionstar · 09/10/2008 21:59

TheSD have your tried your boy on goats (or sheeps) milk ? (sorry if you have mentioned it previously). My DD is happy to drink cows or goats, though in small quantities. I try and keep her to goats because my brothers were allergic to cows milk, and she does have problems with dry/spotty skin which may be down to cows. I think goats milk has a different casein protein which is better tolerated by the body.

Glad to hear your doctor is clued up though, mine is more than useless when it comes down to pregnancy/baby stuff. Midwives are nice enough, though have yet to mention I am still bf DD.

InTheDollshouse · 09/10/2008 22:34

Oh that's interesting Constance. I think my baby is lying back to back at the moment too. Wonder if it'll become less painful if it moves. I've been concerned because, although I'm getting BHs at other times, they're not painful, whereas during and after nursing they are.

Original poster

TinkerBellesMum · 10/10/2008 00:40

Well I think Tink was just teasing me! I picked her up from CM today and, although she was asleep, she clung to my neck, I had to hold her hand in the car and promise her juice and chocolate if she would let me go into the post office! Got back to my parents and she was undressing me before we were sat down!

I feel a little sad that it's one feed in a week and she's not going to have another one till she gets back from Malta. We're picking her up from the airport though and having a weekend in London with her, so lots of chance for more feeds.

OP posts:

Febes · 10/10/2008 17:01

Hi I've benn recommend this thread as I'm 10 weeks pregnant and feeding my 11 month old DD. The midwife told me I should think about when soon.
She is only on 1/2 feeds a day and does seem to be self weaning a bit as she is taking less and less but just wanted to hear your experiences. I know the midwife is wrong. What do you give them if not breast milk? Do I just give her a slipper cup of cows milk. Don't want to faff about with formula or bottles at this point if I don't need to.

Original poster

TinkerBellesMum · 10/10/2008 19:03

No reason to give up unless it causes a problem for you. The first weeks can be painful tough but this does pass.

At the same age Tink cut down to one feed a day, but she's still going now at 26 months. I think there was just too much for her to do at that age.

Welcome to the group!

OP posts:

PinkTulips · 10/10/2008 19:06

at my booking in i was preparing myself for stupid comments and having to argue with the mw but what actually happened was this;

mw; how long were your previous labours/any family history of x, y & z/do you smoke?
me; relevant answers
mw; did you bf your older children?
me; i still am bfing ds [prepares for hotrrified look and daft comments]
mw; [doesn't even look up from screen] how tall are you?
me; erm, 5ft8......

it was both a relief and a bit of a let down as i had so many lovely facts and figures to throw at her, lol

whomovedmychocolate · 10/10/2008 19:16

Ooh only just found this - I'm tandem feeding a 2 yr old 3 times a day and a 20lb 12 week old. My milk is just continually widdling out but aside from that it's going really well though I do feel a bit bovine if I feed them together

Original poster

TinkerBellesMum · 10/10/2008 19:32

lol welcome WMMC - hope you are getting plenty of chocolate

Question to those already nursing two, what WMMC just said made me think, do you find yourself fuller than before? What was it like after littlest nursling was born?

OP posts:

whomovedmychocolate · 10/10/2008 19:33

Oh god almighty I look like Jordan. Have just been remeasured at a fucking J cup!!!!

After DS was born I didn't really get engorged because DD was taking off any excess several times a day

GreenMonkies · 10/10/2008 19:45

I don't think I was fuller than before, and I leaked a lot less, but could express a lot more. I don't think that answers anything for anyone!!!

Original poster

TinkerBellesMum · 10/10/2008 19:58

I think I need a J, I haven't been measured in ages.

It's interesting to hear how others find it, it's all new territory!

OP posts:

whomovedmychocolate · 10/10/2008 20:01

I'm off to Bravissimo next week to try and get some girder-like device!

Tell you what though, my previously supportive mother is getting on my nerves, making 'are you still feeding DD' comments in front of her . Interspersed with 'I didn't feed any of you so I know nothing about breastfeeding, but it seems to me......' GAH!!!!

Original poster

TinkerBellesMum · 10/10/2008 20:07

Funnily enough it's been the other way for me. My SIL is anti-breastfeeding (even sticks a dummy in her thumb sucking sons mouth) and Mum didn't get very far first two times, my sister fed most of the year until she got teeth and was weaned late because she preferred milk. I got some AP ideas from Mum and was shocked that she wasn't more supportive (but she isn't AP she did what she had to). I've had attempts to undermine the breastfeeding all along and gentle bitty humour (not nastiness). More recently though there's been occasions where only "me me" will do, when we're out and she asks I try to put her off but now Mum will say to just give it her - she's never stopped me feeding in public or said anything, although I have had to educate her on the law that just because you own a place doesn't mean you can say you won't serve someone on discriminatory grounds.

OP posts:

theSuburbanDryad · 10/10/2008 22:54

Surprisingly (or perhaps not) the least supportive person around is dh, who is being a massive knob about, well, everything atm - but especially about me bf-ing.

Tonight being a classic example: ds has got a bit of a temp, my nipples are in agony. All he wants to do is nurse but I can't even bear him touching me. Dh comes up (at the point when ds is screaming for milk) and says, "I don't understand how you can be so supportive of bf-ing and then refuse to nurse him."

I can't get through to him how distressing it is for me not to be able to nurse ds, when it's all i really want to do and all he wants to do. I can't get through to dh how tired i am, how very fed up i am - already - of being pregnant and being sick and in pain with my back. If anyone has any witty or pithy comebacks it'd be really appreciated before I just fucking deck him!

Original poster

TinkerBellesMum · 10/10/2008 23:12

Offer to replicate the pain [evil]

TBD went to work without changing her one morning when she was tiny (he looks after her in the mornings before he goes out so that I can get some sleep) and didn't tell me. When I eventually changed her nappy, didn't rush to check it as I thought it was clean, she was sore. I went into his office, he came down to meet me and asked what I wanted, I got close to him dropped my voice grabbed him hard and said "next time you leave her in a wet nappy and don't even tell me I'll take a razor to your bits and see how you like it" and then carried on talking about whatever it was I was there for like nothing had happened. He got the point though

I have to say though, he's been brilliant. He's quite a sensible person and I worried that he wouldn't go for the more AP things - he married a hippy, I should have known really - and he's surprised me. Even when I sprung BLW on him he's been behind everything. I've asked him what he thinks about me still nursing at this age, pregnant and when I have two and he said he's fine with it as long as I am. He's never suggested stopping when things have been tough. We might have our fall outs but I don't think where it matters I could ask for anything better in a man. I think I've got the best deal between me, my brother and sister and he's the best man I've ever been out with, makes me wonder what I was doing when I got married!

And I'm feeling hormonal today! (I seem to be getting PMT through this pregnancy )

OP posts:

PinkTulips · 11/10/2008 14:10

funnily enough dp has always been 100% behind me on all my mad, hippy childrearing methods... even BLW

the only negative comment he's ever made about bf-ing was to say he wouldn't be comfortable with it going on beyond about 3/4 as he believes that it would be odd if ds was stil feeding at school but that being said he said that at a point where nursing was a very differant experiance than the once every day or two snuggly morning and night feeds ds wants now..... i think he inagined ds coming running home in a school uniform and nursing like a newborn instead of playing with his friends, lol.

i'm lucky he's openminded and trusts my judgment as it's made it easier having his support than if i had to fight my ground constantly.

Original poster

TinkerBellesMum · 11/10/2008 15:42

I think that's what people have against NTBF to be honest, they imagine kids being fed like a baby when they get to school. Most people I've heard/seen talk about their older nurslings have said it's when the child thinks about it and often once a month. Even now we're not doing it daily, just when she wants to, most days though.

You never know PT we may APise the whole of Feb Mums! Looks like we are already on the way to it as the Lentil Weaver thread on FB is quite full.

OP posts:

PinkTulips · 11/10/2008 16:41

it's lovely though, my AN thread when i was having ds was very differant.

no one was still nursing older kids, most hadn't bf at all and very few went beyond a few weeks or days when our kids were born hardly any co slept, lots had the baby in anther room altogether and there was talk of routines and blackout blinds more so than slings and baby wearing. a few did BLW but lots were feeding purees at 4/5 months.

i was the hippy on that thread fgs which just tells you how bad it was

Original poster

TinkerBellesMum · 11/10/2008 17:00

Maybe our next thread should be something about us all being hippies lol.

I'm liking that I'm not unusual, it's nice to know that there will be a lot of support when the baby comes from other lentil weavers!

OP posts:

PinkTulips · 11/10/2008 17:19

exactly, i was confident enough to be much more lentilly where ds was concerned than i had been with dd as i had MN by then and didn't feel like such a freak and weird loner doing things like breastfeeding beyond 3/6 months or co-sleeping

Original poster

TinkerBellesMum · 11/10/2008 17:32

I wish I'd found this place a lot sooner. I heard about BLW when she was about 4 months old, didn't have net access so was Googling through my mobile (not a very new phone so not the best) and finding pages from Aitch's site to get TBD to print off so I didn't get involved with the forum there for quite awhile and it was mostly made up of MNetters so I heard about MN from there. Took awhile to get into MN as I'm used to other forums and didn't want to get into another one, once I realised it was my sort of place I started to use it a lot more.

OP posts:

onwardandupward · 11/10/2008 17:54

weaves lentils while eavesdropping on TBM and PD's conversation, nodding sagely at intervals

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