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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Pregnant and Nursing Support Thread

535 replies

TinkerBellesMum · 25/07/2008 10:06

I thought I'd start up a support group, for those of us pregnant, with an older nursling. If you are pregnant at the moment or tandeming or have done in the past and want to add your support, please post!

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and have a 2 and a week year old. One of the first things I noticed about being pregnant was my nipples felt bruised like she'd bitten me. 8 weeks later not much has changed and I'm still spending every feed saying "gentle please".

Someone please tell me it gets easier!

I'm also starting to feel quite full and hard.

I keep getting told by my family I'll have problems tandem feeding "and how many mothers do you know who have done it?" My dad was grilling me the other day about tandeming and when I'll stop Tink nursing. He's a radiographer. I made him agree with me "Well, you know yourself that when the adult teeth come through because they're in a totally different order to the milk teeth the jaw changes shape" "Yes and around the same time the soft spot in the jaw fuses" "That change makes it impossible for them to continue nursing, that's why they got called milk teeth" lol how could he argue when he'd just backed my argument up!

OP posts:
onwardandupward · 07/08/2008 16:58

Not cracked, but certain, um, tender.

I hear that tandem nursing can be a fabulous bonding opportunity for the siblings, Tapster

Original poster
TinkerBellesMum · 07/08/2008 17:11

I'm not cracked, still feeling very bruised although it's not as bad as it was. I'm growing out of my H cup bras and wearing them puts a lot of pressure on my nipples.

Is anyone else finding their breasts are itchy? I've never had that before.

PT, I first got pregnant in February 05 and didn't have much of a gap between my first three pregnancies, so it's now 3 and a half years since I wasn't pregnant or breastfeeding. If this one goes the same way it will be 6 years! The plan is to stop with this one, otherwise we could be looking at 10 years!

OP posts:
theyoungvisiter · 07/08/2008 21:47

oo yes, definitely itchy here - but I had that in my first pg too, so was kind of expecting it.

Wow H cup bras!!! Am impressed . I am a meagre D/C even when PG/feeding.

Sob, so I'm the only one with cracks? It was tender to begin with but now it's got to the point where I really and truly have to grit my teeth to stop myself crying out when he latches on.

Am hoping as the colostrum comes in more it might get a bit easier, I think part of the problem is that I have hardly any milk left now, so am "dry nursing" - which is supposed to be more painful, or so I've read.

It's very nice to meet so many other nursing pg people - I'm the only person I know in RL who's done this and people are a bit surprised I think. In fact my booking in midwife told me flat I should stop! Cheeky so and so.

constancereader · 07/08/2008 22:05

Can't believe your midwife told you to stop theyoungvisitor, that is very ignorant of her.

I had my first negative comment yesterday when a friend told me I should have stopped feeding ds "well before the new baby arrived" in tones of shock and horror, followed my "But what if you are still feeding him when he goes to school!"

Original poster
TinkerBellesMum · 07/08/2008 22:15

It's the uni comments that pee me off! How many uni students do you know who still breastfeed? Not because their mothers forcibly weaned them necessarily, but because it just doesn't happen anywhere but in David Walliams's head!

OP posts:
theyoungvisiter · 07/08/2008 22:23

yes, she said I would be depriving my baby of nutrients and should "make it a priority to stop as soon as possible". I couldn't face a fight so just said "I see" and left it. Very cowardly as I know I should have taken the opportunity to challenge her, but I felt I didn't want our first meeting to start with a ruckus.

She also wrote in big letters on my notes "Breastfeeding Still Ongoing" which I felt was a bit unnecessary! Wish I had fibbed now...

My friends (those who know) are mostly very polite, I think they feel it's none of their business (as do I to be honest) Apart from the midwife the only person who has dared to comment is my dad who says "you'll have to stop sometime you know dear" at regular intervals.

Original poster
TinkerBellesMum · 07/08/2008 22:48

The deprived baby is the one breastfeeding, but they still get before you. Unborn baby gets first dibs, followed by nursling, followed by mum. So make sure you look after yourself because your body won't!

OP posts:
theyoungvisiter · 08/08/2008 11:26

don't worry - I'm eating MORE than enough for three .

My body still seems to have decided to shut down milk production though, however it doesn't seem to have affected DS's need to bf (if it even can be called bfing without milk - I think it's more like therapeutic chewing at the moment!)

Original poster
TinkerBellesMum · 08/08/2008 11:47

Yup that's my excuse

Does anyone actually know what our calorie intake should be?

See, that's why I like the word "nursing" over breastfeeding. So what if he isn't taking milk? He doesn't need the milk to survive, he has solids, not that the milk isn't important but the nursing is more important than what he gets out. If more people would realise this there would be less comfort sucking problems because people wouldn't think about it. It's just what babies do. I find it amazing that people think it's ok to comfort suck on a dummy but not what was put there for them to do so.

OP posts:
theyoungvisiter · 08/08/2008 14:10

"I find it amazing that people think it's ok to comfort suck on a dummy but not what was put there for them to do so."

I know it is odd - also that many "experts" also seem to agree - I read so many dire warnings about Never Letting the Baby Suck on an Empty Breast before I started bfing - I don't know what I thought would happen - instant mastitis probably! Luckily once I actually started doing it, instinct took over and I never worried again.

Obviously in some women it can cause pain or irritation - but it was never a problem for me and DS and hardly anyone seems to acknowledge that it can be perfectly ok.

Original poster
TinkerBellesMum · 08/08/2008 14:36

There's no such thing as an empty breast though, we're not hiding bottles beneath the skin! We make milk to demand, it might slow down a bit but it will still come. Nurslings can also adjust their suck so that they are either feeding or "comfort sucking". The "comfort" suck still sends messages to mum's body to "put the note out for the milkman" as it were.

Just been told we're calling the baby "Fifi"

OP posts:
charleymouse · 08/08/2008 14:50

Still occasionaly feeding DD 3.8 whilst feeding DS 16 months. DD stopped around the 24 week mark and then started when I came home with the new baby.

She was very pleased he had brought it back for her and initially it is lovely the bonding between them. Now though I get "he had my one and I wanted that one he should share shouldn't he mummy" and DS boppin her on the nose and pulling her hair, when they are sleepy though they lay over each other and it is lovely.

Congratulations everyone it it possible.

charleymouse · 08/08/2008 14:56

Hope baby is a girl then TBM. If not will it be Bumble?

Original poster
TinkerBellesMum · 08/08/2008 15:02

She's been saying "sista" and I think it is a girl - I've been right so far!

OP posts:
PinkTulips · 08/08/2008 18:28

both dd and ds say girl too but dp and i are leaning towarfs boy.... be interesting to see who'd right!

ds fed in the afternoon for the first time in ages yeasterday but still didn't have his night feed no idea what he's up to!

Original poster
TinkerBellesMum · 08/08/2008 19:28

Probably just getting to an age where he's doing his own thing and could also be testing that it's there anytime.

I've known with both girls that they were girls and although I don't feel pregnant or anything, I just know it's a girl. I've actually got a better chance of having a girl anyway for two reasons:

i. It's actually been found that women have more to do with the sex than the man, so having had two girls it's most likely I'm a girl person.
ii. With him being on secondment at the time it meant we weren't together when I ovulated. The X sperm are long distance runners and Y sperm are sprinters, so the further before ovulation you have sex the more likely it is to be a girl.

OP posts:
PinkTulips · 08/08/2008 21:04

i've been right both times so far so i'm bound to be wrong this time

he fed tonight and as he was feeding it occured to me what it is.... this all started when he moved to a bed from his cot! he's so excited about getting into bed every night he doesn't even want to listen to stories some nights. can't believe i hadn't twigged to that one!

CantSleepWontSleep · 08/08/2008 21:29

Ooh, forgot all about this thread!
We know that mine is a boy, but dd apparently has a girl in her tummy!

TBM - what do you mean by 'It's actually been found that women have more to do with the sex than the man'. The mother always passes an X chromosome, but the sex is determined by whether the baby gets an X or a Y chromosome from the father. Can't see how that's more to do with the woman .

PinkTulips · 08/08/2008 22:10

the womans body determines whther the X or Y sperm make it to the egg though.

dd keeps asking me 'mommy, when i bigger i'll have a baby in my tummy like you won't i?' and 'i would like the baby to come out of your tummy now'. she's totally facinated! hope it lasts after the birth!

Original poster
TinkerBellesMum · 08/08/2008 22:25

PT, Tink already has one! (looks like it too lol) I'm glad you've found the cause, at least you can be happy it's not from weaning. I wouldn't trust Tink yet in a bed. She's very edge aware from co-sleeping, but she would get out of bed as soon as she's put down. She always cries at the start and I'm convinced the reason, as well as being tired (she likes her sleep), she stops is because she can't go anywhere. If she could get up I think it would take longer for her to settle.

CantSleepWontSleep the woman's uterus's pH balance is either friendly to X, Y or both. So some women will only let male sperm through, some female and some either. If you are friendly to one of them though there is still a chance the other will come through.

OP posts:
CantSleepWontSleep · 09/08/2008 09:07

Ah, I hadn't heard that before. I must have a nice friendly uterus then, as we'll have one of each.

Original poster
TinkerBellesMum · 09/08/2008 10:57

You could be either or both, you need to have some more to find out

OP posts:
PinkTulips · 09/08/2008 21:44

i'm hoping i was Y friendly this time as i'm not sure i could cope with 2 girls! i'm not a girly person myself, have always been a tomboy and dd really baffles me alot of the time.

don't get me wrong, i adore her.... i just dread the thought of another girl for her to squabble with! or heaven forbid.... having 2 teenage girls in the house in a few years [faints at the thought]

that said... maybe this baby would be a tomboy like me

dd and ds were fighting each other to give the baby in my belly a hug and a kiss tonight.... they're both so excited and ds even picked out a few of their old baby toys to give to the baby [awwww]

is anyone else finding their not putting on weight so fast this preg with a nursling as well? i got a belly very quickly but i've actually lost a few kgs since getting preg. i'm eating well and not exactly doing alot of running out so i'm wondering if it could be that i'm still feeding ds? i had stopped feeding dd by this stage in ds's preg and was already gaining weight all over

CantSleepWontSleep · 09/08/2008 21:49

I have gestational diabetes so no opportunity to gain weight with the diet I have to follow.

PinkTulips · 09/08/2008 22:07

ouch.

poor you missing pout on the perfect excuse to eat you own weight in chocolate

you'll have to make up for it when nursing the new baby (and hopefully still dd )

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