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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

if you chose not to breastfeed, why?

197 replies

thisisyesterday · 20/06/2008 20:18

a genuine question. I can't imagine not wanting to breastfeed, and am honestly interested to know why other people don't want to. and partly because I am going to train as a LLL leader and want insight into this kind of stuff

is there anything anyone could have said or done that may have changed your mind?

do you regret not doing it now?

do you/did you believe that breast is best, but formula is an adequate replacement?

I realise that there is a distinct possibility of this becoming heated, but I am not posting it just to get people upset or anything. would be nice if we could discuss nicely, no?

OP posts:
chankins · 20/06/2008 20:21

hello i've bf all my three, but my sis ff all her three from the start, and she has said to me that she just found the idea of bf horrible,embarrassing, disgusting even, she just could not imagine ever doing it - very supportive and fantastic towards me bfing mine though ! But that could be one reason people choose not to.

mumfor1standmaybe2ndtime · 20/06/2008 20:24

I didn't because I had an emegerncy c section and I was unable to feed my baby for his first feeds, so he was ff. I didn't feel well and able to.
I am expecting number 2 and and now thinking about giving it a go, but not sure yet.
I don't see formula as a bad thing, just life.

escortss · 20/06/2008 20:25

I think if someone told me beforehand that it would be painful I would have coped with it and stuck with it a lot longer. Was under the impression that as long as you got the latch right then it would be a wonderful experience, but don't know anybody who didn't struggle at sompoint.

It was just a real shock that it could be at all difficult. Some reality beforehand would have been great!

Original poster
thisisyesterday · 20/06/2008 20:26

that would be great if you gave it a go mumfor1standmaybe2ndtime. you have nothing to lose if you just give it a go. baby gets that important colostrum at least and you may find it easier this time round.

my first was bf for 4.5m and then formula fed.
second has been exclusively bf, and it has def been easier this time round.

I do wonder if people who don't like the idea of it would find it actually ok if they tried it. anyone had that experience???

OP posts:
Original poster
thisisyesterday · 20/06/2008 20:28

escortss- brilliant point. I've said the same many times. I think that perhaps in a bid to not put people off, the reality isn't painted completely faithfully to pregnant women.
I can see why, but then it's an awful shock when you suddenly have a baby that it hurts to feed, or that wants to cluster feed, or feeds for an hour at a time etc etc

OP posts:
Original poster
thisisyesterday · 20/06/2008 20:29

mumfor1standmaybe2ndtime another question sorry, after your c-section did anyone try and help you breastfeed or make you comfortable enough to give it a go?
do you thin you might have bf if you'd had the help and support? or was it a definite no-no?

OP posts:
mumfor1standmaybe2ndtime · 20/06/2008 20:30

Was thinking it would be nice to bf for at least my time in hospital, as I am having a planned c section for number 2 and will be asking for more contact this time. Do like the idea of trying.

mumfor1standmaybe2ndtime · 20/06/2008 20:33

x post!
I couldn't have bf as I was totally full of drugs and out of it. Had very traumatic time tbh and last thing on my mind was bf, just wanted baby to have a feed and to rest. Dh fed him and a midwife.
I did watch a young girlof around 19 in bed opposite me on the ward and she was bf, she asked mw for help and tbh she wasn't very helpful, she was pushing her baby's head. It didn't look nice to me.

wannaBe · 20/06/2008 20:33

I didn't choose not to breastfeed but had no choice as my milk never came in.

My sister had a hard time bf her first and gave up when he was 5 days old, and as a result she chose not to breastfeed her second as she felt it was like betraying her eldest ds by giving the youngest one something she was unable to give him. I actually asked about this on mn at the time (from an opinion seaking pov) and there were a lot of posters who understood and said they would have felt the same.

Original poster
thisisyesterday · 20/06/2008 20:33

good for you

OP posts:
Original poster
thisisyesterday · 20/06/2008 20:35

I felt a bit like that when I had my second wannabe.
especially when ds2 hit the age that ds1 was when I stopped feeding him. it's quite an emotional thing

OP posts:
Sexonlegs · 20/06/2008 20:36

Hi.

I have to say that the idea of bf didn't sit comfortably with me.

I gave it a go with dd1, and perhaps because of my preconceived ideas, I found it hellish. It got to the point where I would dread dd1 waking up. I lasted a week.
I seriously feel it hampered our bonding.

When I fell pg with dd2, I knew straight away that she was going to be formula fed as I didn't want to risk going through the feelings I had when dd1 was born.

I have absolutely no regrets.

I have no issues with people bf'ing - it is personal choice.

I do get pissed off though when people harp on about the health benefits. I know many people who bf and their kids have had far more bugs than mine.

2point4kids · 20/06/2008 20:37

I chose not to with DS1 as it was a very traumatic birth and he was born with a broken arm. I couldnt handle the stress of trying to bf on top of everything else, it just seemed too much.
I felt it would be easier for both me and DS1 to bootle feed as then I would be certain his arm wasnt going to get knoked/moved during feeding.

Original poster
thisisyesterday · 20/06/2008 20:39

the health benefits are proven though. BF doesn't prevent your child getting ill, there are many, many other factors involved.

and any one of us could come on and say well I know a ff baby who's really ill, or I know a bf baby who is.

OP posts:
LaDiDaDi · 20/06/2008 20:44

When I saw the title I thought " get the popcorn out"

When I read the OP I thought "Oh, I was wrong, she is genuinely interested in women's reasons and will tajke them seriously".

Now I think "No, she just wants to preach".

I mixed fed dd because of my severe pre-eclampsia, HELLP syndrome, C-section wound dehiscence, her prematurity and tbh, some postnatal madness (I wouldn't say I was depressed just a buit wildly irrational lol ).

I think that life is more complicated than you think or that some posters want to share with you.

Saymyname · 20/06/2008 20:46

Where's the preaching then LaDiDadi?

constancereader · 20/06/2008 20:46

LaDiDaDi has it spot on.

Original poster
thisisyesterday · 20/06/2008 20:47

I am taking them seriously ladidaa. don't think i have preached, but sorry if you feel that way.

am off to google HELLP syndrome and learn some more

OP posts:
woodward · 20/06/2008 20:52

I breastfed my 1st for 5 weeks and had to stop as i had a wisdom tooth infection and the antibiotics werent compatible with bf. Was gutted! Beat myself up about it for months. This time 4 months on im still bf and intend 2 for as long as poss. Incidently i worked with a midwife who didnt bf as the mere thought repulsed her.

Seashell71 · 20/06/2008 20:53

I don't think OP was intending to preach in any way. Maybe Ladidadi has a chip on her shoulder?

HeadFairy · 20/06/2008 20:54

I was the same as escortss, if someone had really told me what it would really be like I would have felt better prepared. I actually stuck at it and am still bfing at 9 months but it was the hardest thing I ever did (after giving up smoking ) I'm pretty stubborn and was determined to stick at it, but it nearly drove dh and I apart. He kept saying why don't you just give him a bottle of formula, it broke my heart when he said that. I shelled out £150 to have a bfc come to my house for a private appointment in the end and that did a lot to boost my confidence I was doing the right thing, but you shouldn't have to resort to that sort of thing, and not everyone can anyway. I think that one to one bf support should be as routine as hv checks.

LaDiDaDi · 20/06/2008 20:55

Maybe I do .

Sexonlegs · 20/06/2008 20:57

Is it a McDonalds type chip or a luscious fish and chip shop type?

I just think the OP is v pro bf - each to their own, but not for me.

Original poster
thisisyesterday · 20/06/2008 20:58

so, antenatal breastfeeding classes would be a good thing?

have never had general antenatal classes, so don't know how much is covered in them.... anyone?

OP posts:
LaDiDaDi · 20/06/2008 20:59

Oh def fish and chip shop one. With salt and vinegar rather than ketchup.